Spiritual Bucket List This Week - My Spiritual Life

[Preety_India]

In what way could I be causing problems 

• Not taking proper care of myself 
• Wasting too much time attending..... 
• Lack of self focus 
• Getting unnecessarily emotionally hurt and distressed. 
• Affecting my schedule. Causing unnecessary interference in my schedule and loss of my resources or energy or time or the disruption of my normal schedule
• Loss of mental peace 
• Weight gain 
• Comfort eating 
• Psychological damage 
• Financial loss
• Sleep disturbances and insomnia 
• General distraction from major goals
• Self esteem issues 
• Occupancy of my mental and life space
• Emotional Hurt and betrayal

 

Edited October 16, 2019 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

She looks cool

 

Edited October 16, 2019 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I should have never met you in the first place. Just more salt in my wounds

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I need a therapist not a relationship. 

 

 

 

 

 

I was completely unhappy with you. 

Thanks for giving me fucking depression when I was already going through enough. 

[Preety_India]

10 Signs of an Ailing Mind

Experts describe the physical and mental signs that may indicate emotional distress.

By Colette Bouchez

FROM THE WEBMD ARCHIVES

Maybe you're having that proverbial "bad day" - or perhaps a rough few weeks: Feeling down, anxious, overstressed, as if you're one breath away from the "last straw."

If so, you may be surprised to learn it's quite common; doctors say it's part of the human condition.

"The presence of anxiety, of a depressive mood or of a conflict within the mind, does not stamp any individual as having a psychological problem because, as a matter of fact, these qualities are indigenous to the species," says Charles Goodstein, MD, clinical professor of psychiatry at NYU Medical Center in New York City.

But if living on the "last straw" has more or less become your way of life, experts say there's something on your mind that is crying out for your attention.

"The key is how often you are feeling this sense of distress, how bad it gets, and how long it lasts; that is what can help determine the seriousness of your situation," says Abby Aronowitz, PhD, the director of SelfHelpDirectives.com.

To help you gain some important perspective on the problems in your life, three experts helped WebMD put together this list of symptoms you should not ignore. If any of these signs seem true for you, speak to your family doctor and request a complete physical. If everything checks out OK, ask your doctor if you might benefit from professional counseling.

CONTINUE READING BELOW

Sleep and Weight

1. Sleep disturbances. If you're sleeping more than usual or less than usual, if you can't fall asleep or wake up after only a few hours and can't go back to sleep, experts say emotional distress may be looming large in your life.

"If you have recurring disturbances of sleep more than once or twice a week, and there are no physical reasons your doctor can identify, your problem may be linked to a psychological problem -- most commonly, anxiety or depression," says Goodstein.

2. Dramatic weight fluctuations/changes in eating patterns. Have you gained or lost a significant amount of weight without any changes in your diet or exercise regime? Do you find yourself constantly thinking about food -- or repulsed by the thought of eating? If so, experts say it could be a sign of emotional distress

"Constant preoccupation with food, weight, and body image is a sign that an eating disorder is sapping energy from other areas of life," says Aronowitz. In women and young girls a loss of menstruation in conjunction with changes in appetite can also be a sign of trouble.

Also look out for a lack of appetite. Goodstein says it can sometimes be a sign of depression.

CONTINUE READING BELOW

 

Unusual Symptoms and Short Fuses

3. Unexplained physical symptoms. If, despite a complete physical workout and even a visit to a specialist or two, no one can find a reason behind your physical complaints, it may be your body's way of letting you know that your mind is in distress.

"Unusual symptoms that resist the million-dollar workup can be a sign that your body is expressing some kind of emotional upset," says Goodstein. Problems commonly linked to emotional distress can include headaches, a rumbling stomach, diarrhea, constipation, and chronic pain -- especially backaches.

4. Difficulty managing anger or controlling your temper. Are you fine when you're by yourself but frequently get provoked to an explosion by your spouse, children, friends, or co-workers? If so, you may be on stress overload, a situation that is dangerous to your physical and mental health -- and unhealthy for those around you.

"Not being able to control your anger is a sign of inability to manage feelings. And this is the one symptom that has the biggest impact on other people; children and women especially are affected," says Anie Kalayjian, EdD, RN, adjunct professor of psychology at Fordham University in New York City.

Generally, she says, folks who have anger-management problems do not recognize the symptoms because they feel fine when they are by themselves. "This is something that only comes into play in relation to another person -- so it's easy to blame the other person for what is really your symptom," Kalayjian tells WebMD.

Even if you don't see the signs in yourself, Kalayjian says consider counseling if your boss, co- workers, spouse, family, or friends are frequently telling you to calm down and watch your temper.

 

Obsessive, Tired, or Forgetful?

5. Compulsive/obsessive behaviors. Are you washing your hands -- or feel a compulsion to do so -- even though there's no logical reason? Has the fun gone out of life because you are constantly worrying that something bad is going to happen? Does it take you an hour or more to leave your home because you're bogged down with a series of "rituals" -- like touching things or rechecking locks, the stove, the iron? If so, you may have more anxiety in your life than you can handle alone.

Obsessions are repetitive thoughts which resemble worry and are accompanied by anxiety. Compulsions are behavioral acts designed to eliminate the obsessions. And sometimes if your mind becomes so cluttered with obsessions, and your day so filled with compulsions, life as you know becomes completely taken over by anxiety and counterproductive rituals," says Aronowitz.

6. Chronicfatigue, tiredness, and lack of energy. "When the body cannot handle emotional overload, it simply begins to shut down. And that is often manifested by a sense of extreme tiredness and fatigue," says Kalayjian.

Goodstein adds that feeling too "beat" to do the things you used to love -- even when a physical checkup shows everything is alright -- can be a sign of emotional distress and depression.

Memory problems. Lots of things can temporarily interfere with your memory, from the hormonal changes of menopause, to a preoccupation with a work problem, to a lack of sleep. But it can also be caused by stress, a reaction to a traumatic event, or sometimes an illness such as Alzheimer's disease. How do you know the difference?

"You need a physical examination first and foremost," says Kalayjian. If everything checks out OK, she says, then anxiety, depression, or sometimes an unrecognized reaction to a traumatic event you have yet to deal with may be behind your forgetfulness

 

Social Activity, Sex, and Mood

8. Shunning social activity. Did you love to go the movies with friends and now you don't? Do you seem fine at work but the minute you're home you jump into bed and just "veg out"? Are you turning down invitations because you simply feel better when you stay at home? Experts say all can be signs that your emotions may be getting the best of you.

"Any significant change in social behavior for a significant amount of time could indicate a stress overload or other emotional issues are at work," says Kalayjian.

 

Aronowitz adds that if phobias or fears of certain places or events are keeping you from doing what you want, then anxiety may be looming large in your life.

9. Sex is no longer fun. Are you going through the motions and not feeling the pleasure that sex once brought to your life? Do you love your partner, but just don't want to make love? If a physical checkup reveals everything is fine, then Kalayjian says an underlying depression, or an anxiety disorder, may be behind your slump.

 

Diminished sexual desire and inability to feel joy in the sexual act itself can be a sign of emotional distress," she says. While that distress may be linked to your relationship with your partner, experts say just as often it could be linked to anxiety stemming from a totally different area of your life.

10. Mood swings and erratic behavior noticed by more than one person. While life may seem like "business as usual" to you, if friends or family members are commenting on your "moody" behavior, experts say pay attention.

"You have to listen to not only your own inner voice, but also listen to what you hear from your best friends, your neighbors, your spouse, your family. Others can have an observation of you that you cannot see," says Kalayjian. "The greater number of people telling you that something is wrong, the more you need to pay attention

 

Edited October 17, 2019 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I have suffered depression and emotional distress for a long time and in trying to come to terms with it... Finally I can find healing, find peace or be at peace with myself and move on

 

 

[Preety_India]

Prepation for Morning and preparation for night. These will be important parts of Samhain 

 

 

[Preety_India]

On 16/10/2019 at 1:33 PM, Preety_India said:

Another lesson that I learned during my morning meditation is that 

Only one  type of energy can exist. It cannot be two energies at the same time. 

Like I cannot hold the energy of both love and hate at the same time. 

So once I have the energy of hate, it won't be replaced by energy of love because it doesn't work that way. 

Once I have the energy of love, I cannot suddenly get hate 

 

I need to do a recap of my spiritual practices. 

Another lesson that I learned yesterday is that only one kind of outlook can exist. One can switch between outlooks like switching from a blue room to a red room but you cannot be in both red and blue rooms at the same time. You can have different outlooks towards a thing but you cannot have 2 outlooks at the same time. You can only switch to realize the difference. But the way our psychology is molded since teenage and and childhood our outlook is shaped and defined. This outlook stays a bit permanent until either we consciously change it or a certain event makes us question or challenge our outlook and make us want to think jn different ways. 

 

Example 

. You could be used to thinking that someone who sleeps a lot or moves sluggishly is a lazy person. This could be an ingrained thought taught in childhood and trained by parents and schools or peers. 

 

However when you come across people who are usually ill or chronically ill or stressed you realize that not every behavior is because of laziness but due to health issues and problems. Thus you look at the same situation with a new outlook that's different from the one you had earlier. 

Edited October 18, 2019 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I'm not in a writing thinking ability competition here. Stop the chimpery.

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Santa muerte is the protector of the innocent heart 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Spiritual lessons learned today 

• There is a difference between the image of the world and the ideal image 
• Look at the outcome of whatever you like. Begin to consciously like and dislike things. Do not operate on your instincts or dopamine instincts. 
• Your liking or disliking doesn't make that thing necessarily good or bad or undesirable. You can start liking something that you didn't like before. It's all a mental perception or outlook or bias and it can easily be conditioned to change. 
• Your perception or like or dislike is completely under your control and completely changeable. 

 

By liking things we don't do much harm unless the thing liked causes bad outcomes. By disliking we create division and hate. 

Bias is very potent way of create division. 

 

Another spiritual lesson that I learned 

Greatness does not lie in great talent or looks or skill

Real greatness lies in being like God. 

Edited October 18, 2019 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Another spiritual lesson that I learned today during my early morning meditation was 

 

That... Ahm

 

Spiritual growth lies in becoming less biased, more honest[more genuine, no agenda] , more authentic, more innocent, more truthful, more brave, more unconditionally loving, more equal more neutral, more graceful or forgiving, more open minded, more frank, big Hearted Ness, more generous, more decent, more humble, less manipulative, more accepting, more kind, less narcissistic, less judgemental, more welcoming, less insecure, less grudgy, more Openness... 

Edited October 18, 2019 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

CONCEPT OF ALLOTMENT, LACK OF MOTIVATION, PRETENTIOUS BEHAVIOR AS THERAPY, MENTAL EXCUSES AND VISUALIZATION FOR SOCIAL ANXIETY 

 

I have been putting off going to a place since many days where I am required to give a presentation out of fear of being in that place. I have been giving many excuses to my manager regarding this. This has severely impacted my work output and income since I can make considerable income if I get ready to take on several projects. But I have been constantly giving excuses to my manager to avoid this specific situation. I faced public humiliation in the same place before. I have decided to deal with it and confront my anxiety and fears. 

It's very difficult though. And constant judgement doesn't help

I have observed that my persistent lack of motivation doesn't help. 

I have understood that every reason I come up with in order to avoid the encounter is just an excuse born out of anxiety and fear. Fear has held me back from a lot of enriching experiences. 

Solutions 

One thing I can do is completely abandon all activities and distraction and just sit. Then say to myself "I gotta to do this right now, right away, no ifs and buts." 

I will call this "complete allotment"... This means when the time is appropriate for the task, just put the timer on and wait and keep oneself completely free and available to get the task done. This way no excuses or distractions can prevent the initiation and completion of the task. 

A task can be divided into 2 parts - initiation and completion. 

I need to do 3 things here. 

1 Make room for Initiation and 

2 Record the completion 

3 Reward the completion 

 

1...making room for initiation

This is a sort of empty meditation. Just sit. Relax. Simply focus on the task planned and alloted or scheduled for that time and prepare yourself to put the key into the ignition and say "Start"...... 

 

2.. Record the completion. 

Once you have started the task, of course you're on a roll. Keep doing the task. There can be lapses or a need to take a break or avoid or delay. But continue to perfect the craft. That is perfect the task like perfecting an art piece. Keep mastering it to do it more skillfully and fulfilling next time. 

Let's say you were reading a book. But couldn't focus and did it haphazardly. Or you had to exercise. But kept postponing or did it in haphazard namesake ways just to make yourself believe that you actually completed it and hurriedly tried to wrap the task thus having a bad quality output. Now focus on the quality of the work and try improving it. 

 

 

 

3.. Reward the completion 

Whether I finish the task in an unpleasant unfulfilled way or in a satisfactory way, I should make sure to reward myself in the for at least having tried. Rewards can be anything from monetary to flowers or greeting cards or chocolates or a collection of charms. Charm jar filling. 

 

 

Another thing that helps me with this is pretentious behavior and visualization skills. 

 

PRETENTIOUS BEHAVIOR AND MOCK 

To pretend like you actually completed the task. For example if I want to read a book or attend an appointment and if fear is holding me back and if for some reason I am not able to do it, I will pretend like I am reading the book. 

I will walk to the doctor's building and walk around  the building a day before the appointment is scheduled to mentally prepare myself and pretend like I am actually doing it and getting it done. But it's a fake task. The task actually did not happen or occur. It was make believe. This is to relieve anxiety. This is pretentious behavior but this is helpful as a therapy. I can do the same for my job and shopping. I can pretend like I attended an event and tell my family that I actually did it so as to mentally convince myself that I have done it and it went well. This is a mock practice. A mock practice of an actual event. The next day I can do the actual event. 

 

VISUALIZATION FOR SOCIAL ANXIETY 

One thing I can do to complete a task (avoided due to social anxiety or other fears), is visualize the happening of the event/task. I will have a Complete visualization of the task from initiation to completion... This is slightly different from a mock task. It is just a mental visualization of the task. This visualization will be detailed and will show the successful completion of that task. This helps in prepping the mind for it and making it believe that no obstacle exists and thus it alleviates anticipatory anxiety. 

 

 

 

 

Edited October 18, 2019 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I have realized that my brain and heart have malformed during my premature birth. Therefore I can never be as normal as other people are, however I can still enjoy a good quality of life. 

 

[Preety_India]

Along with anxiety another thing I need to work on is low impulse control 

 

I need to able to keep a high threshold limit for a trigger so the triggering factor can continue triggering and I will have enough time to escape or react without losing total self control like a loose cannon. 

Edited October 18, 2019 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

The other thing that I am going to work on is confidence issues and energy levels. 

 

Using social standards to my advantage. As a way to motivate myself. 

3 things here 

1 energy levels. 

2 confidence issues 

3 social standards and comparisons. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

3 things here 

1 energy levels. 

2 confidence issues 

3 social standards and comparisons. 

 

1 energy levels. 

Here there are two types of energy levels. 

One is vital energy and the other is physical energy. I need to improve both. Vital energy is the will to live life whereas physical energy is how physically active you are 

 

 

 

2 confidence issues

I have recognized massive confidence issues. 

One way is to gradually build it up. 

Once I feel the confidence, I can redo the thing I avoided before. I observed this last week when I finally got the courage to travel very far to the place I had been avoiding for long. 

 

 

3 social standards and comparisons.

I have found that being a loner doesn't help with motivation. Maybe it helps to stay away from toxic judgement but I have realized that some form of judgement can act as motivation. Recently I saw that my boyfriend got a new job and it made a bit insecure and jealous. Although I have a job myself I still felt like he was doing better and I was lagging behind at work. This jealousy or insecurity worked in my favor because I felt like "what the heck, even I can work harder like him and feel proud and do better at my job than just suck at work and constantly complain and whine"... This made me feel like I was a loser and that I needed to do something to win his approval or feel equal with him. I never thought that jealousy or comparison could be a good thing but somehow it has made me rethink my life and goals and strive a bit harder which never happened before. When I got jealous of someone before in my life, it usually caused me to find an escape and back out. I think it depends on the relationship with the person. If it's a rival, the competition can cause a massive demotivation. But if someone closer to you achieves more than you, then it creates a positive form of jealousy or the need to keep up with that person's level in life and thus acts as a motivator. 

 

Pretty strange!!! 

 

 

 

 

Edited October 18, 2019 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Living in LaLa land and Realities 

 

I have come to realize that sometimes I tend to live in LaLa land. I get a bit  extra whimsical and idealistic with my philosophies and completely disregard the realities of life. I have realized this is a major flaw. 

That life is not just imaginary and conceptual or statement based all the time. Sometimes it's a very very cause effect based thing. Like a toolbox, tool, repair set. It can be very mechanical although creative people like me deny that mechanism  

An example of my deformed thinking pattern can be as follows. 

Let's say I'm preparing for an exam. I might keep wasting my time and get distracted and wait till the last day of preparation and imagine that I am getting mega energy for preparation and turning into somewhat of a superhuman and achieving my desired results. Here I completely disregard the limitations of the human body, the impact on health, the need of discipline and the letting go of magical thinking. I am losing practical wisdom and missing out practical mechanisms and focusing more on supernatural or movie-like breakthroughs in life. Too much TED TALKS can lead to this. Thinking that you will suddenly rise up in life and break all barriers and solve all problems rather than being realistic. 

A therapy based perspective 

I guess I am a hyper emotional person and obviously emotions always cloud judgement and wisdom and that could be behind the movie-like hypothetical scenario thinking. I can also call it a grand delusion and living in a grand delusion is disastrous. 

A few months back a woman helped me think more practically. Gosh I wish I was like her. 

So coming back to realistic thinking.. How do I go about with this. Of course I do believe in the power of imagination and mental determination but I cannot afford to ignore the practical realities of life. I kinda hate the word reality so it becomes easier for me to deny it. Because reality often is very upsetting to deal with. One way to solve this problem is to look at realities as "mechanisms of function" rather than reality itself. Since reality is pretty frustrating and upsetting the best way is to give it a different name and deal with this enemy instead of denying it. 

For example when a patient is undergoing a therapy the therapist always focuses on a technique or method or mechanism by which the patient's condition can be improved. Here everything is as practical as it can be. In fantastical imagination we imagine ourselves like superman, wonderwoman who suddenly goes around doing her stuff. But in therapy sessions, people take baby steps towards healing and progress and problem resolution and fantastical thinking has no place. 

Maybe movies and grand delusions are to blame. Sometimes mental weaknesses can also cause that. Stronger people are less likely to think unrealistically and unreasonably. Just like weak people come up with illogical arguments and attacks to cover up for their weaknesses and insecurities (and strong people can clearly see through their strategies at denying reality and bullshitting their way out of realities with some attacks and excuses to cover up their denials of truth) the same way mentally weak people are more likely to think fantastically. 

Imagine this way. When a person does not have a solution or cure for their disease they want some supernatural cure to exist even if it doesn't. It's way of satisfying the mind. But a person who has solutions and tools at hand, tries to apply practical techniques to cure the disease. This is a difference between strong and weak people. The weakness brings in immaturity. However this is not to imply that one should not dream or have impossible goals or visions, it only means that a careful balance between realistic and wishful thinking is needed. 

 

So my solution to this problem is to frame a real event or causation as a "mechanism of function" and attribute a more scientific appeal to it than poetic. 

For example a bad discipline can lead to health problems. Instead of being teenagey about it and continuing with my bad discipline habits, I will label it as a "mechanism of function" or "causation of function".... This way I have imparted a more biological nature/aspect  to it and now it's easier for my mind to accept it and align to it. Thus I can remind myself that this is a very scientific process and it shouldn't upset my teenagey feelings and instead of denying it I should accept it and align myself to it, that is in this case try to achieve a healthy discipline. 

 

This kind of language can easily work with kids to convince them of the harsher realities of life in a sweeter way and push  it down their throats without resistance. 

The mind works like a petulant kid. Sometimes to convince it takes patience and effort. 

 

 

Edited October 18, 2019 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Another thing I need to work on is my pathetic memory. Been having memory problems ever since I started suffering massive anxiety. 

[Preety_India]

What's hearth witchcraft or hearth Witchery