Dating those lower on the spiral

[d0ornokey]

I know that attraction is actually pretty complex and to me confusing

But I noticed one thing I've been doing is filtering out people and girls if they are lower than blue on the spiral. Is this something I should not be doing? Should I be open-minded to all stages? 

[Leo Gura]

That's very wise.

Value mis-match is the #1 cause of breakup.

[DrewNows]

@d0ornokey lower than blue ?

what are you checking out, other species? 

[d0ornokey]

@DrewNows haha oops I meant blue and lower

@Leo Gura okay sweet that's good to know 

Edited October 8, 2019 by d0ornokey

[Hello from Russia]

There is one good book about this topic called "Integral relationships" or something among these lines. The author took various models, most known here are spiral dynamics and Ken WIlber's integral theory and laid out a pretty good advice for so called "integral aware" relationship seeker

[Achilles]

6 hours ago, d0ornokey said:

@DrewNows

@Leo Gura okay sweet

6 hours ago, d0ornokey said:

@DrewNows

Now you're targeting too high on the spiral

[outlandish]

I dated a few girls that were more blue-orange while I was probably more green-orange. It was fun and no regrets, but they didn't last. We remained friends after, and I can see that they kept moving in a trajectory towards green so I think part of their attraction to me was reaching towards their own changes they wanted for themselves. And for my part, I benefitted from some grounding to the realities of blue and orange, which often people in green think they leave behind, but really you need to integrate as well.

What I'm getting at here is that it's not necessarily a bad thing, it can be fun, and it might be part of growth for everyone involved. But if you're looking for that long term relationship, you'll have a better match if you find someone you're more aligned with in that dimension.

I don't think it's worth being too picky or analytical about it though, we're all different in many ways, and SD is just one lens. It's easy make mistakes in where we place ourselves and others on the scale anyways.