How to out of parent negative stuff in my brain?

[yangmilun]

• Problem Solution
• Relationship
• Talking skill
• Social Skill
• Education
• Emotion
• The worldview
• Money stuff
• .....

 

They are getting old, and I found bigger world, fresh knowledge, and other happier families. 

I realized I use my parent way to deal with the problem when I am weak, and get not good result. 

Sometime I wish I would empty my mind and insert some new functional stuff.

Sometimes I feel hateful but relax if everything is caused by my parent. 

I found my brain is strongly structured by my childhood and my parent.  

How to out of parent negative stuff in my brain?

[JustThinkingAloud]

Our parents have a strong influence on us when we’re kids so yes, it can be hard to get them out of our heads and change who we are. Don’t give yourself too much hard time that you’re not who you want to be yet, it’s a part of life to be constantly improving and adapting to new information. Our mind needs to get persuaded that you really believe the new information (or "rewired") so it will take some time. Just keep putting in new better beliefs, keep proving old beliefs wrong and it will eventually sink in.

[universe]

Wow, interesting question.

First, you already went most of the way. To understand that the way you where raised isnt the only way and that there are better alternatives is the key to transformation.

Now you need to stay conscious. You will fall back to old behaviours and ways of thinking. That is totally normal and to be expected. Just try to be conscious of that and instead switch to the new wanted behaviour and way of thinking. You can write in a diary of some sort your progress. Maybe choose one of the items on your list and make it a priority for a week or for one month to try and change this behaviour. Do one at a time to make it easier and more focused. See it as an exercise.

Also talk to people or read stories of how other people dealt with those things.

[Rigel]

I would say: try to be focusing on yourself, on what YOU believe. Doesn't matter who put that into your mind. Try to take responsibility for every thing that happens in your life. You are responsible for Everything right now. 

[Smurfinstein]

Something that works well for me-- "My parents were doing the best they could with what they had to work with..." cultivating an aire of empathy. And then, yeah, you are your own person and responsible for what YOU do with what YOU'VE got. It is though, though-- I got sick of therapists always wanting to explore my childhood and relationship with parents, so I was finally like "Look, it was what it was... can we just move beyond that and work with what *IS* right now?" Granted, 10 years later, I ended up marrying, basically, an amalgam of my parents and totally recreating their relationship, so ask me how well that worked out for me?

I guess-- explore, investigate, but don't "own" would be my input on this one.

[Commodent]

@Smurfinstein  Why not both?