kieranperez

For Those Meditating With ADHD

7 posts in this topic

Real ADHD is a bitch. Living in a western society and going through the scholastic system with ADHD, regardless of whether or not you’re on medication, is a bitch. Spiritual work, and specifically meditation, with ADHD can seem like the most impossible task, considering that the majority of what spiritual practice is is cultivating the discpline and art of paying attention. What could be more of a nightmare for someone with ADHD then to sit down, shut, don’t move, and pay attention even when what you’re focusing on has no interest to you for long periods of time?

I was on ADHD medication from the age of 6 till 22 until I went cold turkey (DON’T DO THAT!) and never went back on. Since that time I’ve struggled with energy problems, had to cut out certain foods once I got off because for one reason or another they just would train wreck my nervous system (it would feel like pouring water onto a circuit board), and had even less capacity to tolerate spiritual practices. Though there was an adjustment over time, I had to find for myself ways through experimentation ways of being to sit down and meditate and train my mind. I tried nootropics for a bit but, for those that have been on medication for a LONG time (I’d say beyond 10 years), you know how easy and quickly the body adapts to such short cuts. I was tired of using pills and shortcuts that didn’t work long term. 

Then I started experimenting with feeling my body, Reichian therapy, the release of energetic blockages where I hold a lot of my psychosomatic trauma and all of a sudden I would find myself in states of deep samadhi with little to no effort. How? A mind/body holding in emotions/tension/energy is a mind that can’t stop thinking. Release that and the mind will quiet. For those who feel great quietness of mind after a cathartic emotional release from a lot of crying or therapy session know what I’m talking about.

Somewhat recently I video chatted with one of the highest Zen masters in the West (I’d argue the world), Doshin Roshi. As Ken Wilber puts it “Doshin is one of the most accomplished spiritual teachers on the planet.” Though I’m now part of Doshins Integral Zen sangha here in Boulder/Denver, I had the opportunity to video chat with him before I moved here back in early August. I explained my struggles with my practice because of my ADHD and he cut me off and said “I have ADHD and OCD. Don’t mean nothing,” followed by a hearty laugh. Left speechless, I took him up on that and that maybe I was just making excuses for not just continuing to find what it is I’m doing wrong in my practice. Boy was he right. 

Now I want to give credit where credit is due to @ardacigin where he talked a lot about Culadasas approach to teaching meditation and Arda gave an outline of the progression of practice along with a very detailed explanation of the how it is this works, why it works, and why this outline is important. I bought the Mind Illumibated on Kindle and by the time I finished reading what Culadasa calls the first stage of practice and immediately tried it out, within 5 minutes I FINALLY could hold access concentration. Totally blown away I kept doing it and was able to sustain it longer and longer and longer. This is being done by someone that dropped out of college because he couldn’t pay attention (and more stuff). 

So, what exactly did I do? Do NOT make the intent to hold your focus. Yes you read that right. That is NOT the goal. The goal is simply to remember whenever your mind wanders off and gently bring it back every time. If your mind is going so crazy you can bring it back, remain in the same posture but just take some time to regather, then resume when ready. Why do you not just go for yoking your attention? Because if you’re still struggling to maintain focus, you can’t force because the very “act” of forcing is a thought itself. Concentration develops on its own. DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THIS. I am blown away at how this is working. 

So in conclusion, if you have ADHD, I don’t think you necessarily need to go about the route of paying for excessive nootropics or neurofeedback. I no longer subscribe to ADHD being a reason you can’t progress without special something that necessarily costs thousands of dollars to fix. Da Vinci was enlightened and realized the nature of Nothingness and he had terrible ADHD. There are Zen masters of the highest order who have it. I think it takes a matter of working with emotions, your nervous system, and the right practice. I recommend you read The Mind Illuminated. Look into traditional Hatha yoga practices before you get steeped into Kriya. Look into releasing energetic/emotional/neuromuscular tension built up. And most importantly, I suggest you take responsibility and start. If you want Truth, you want to go as far as you can with this path? Stop talking shit about how much you want it. DO IT. Figure it out. Stop theorizing. Stop neurotically analyzing. Spend the majority of your time practicing and contemplating. You don’t even necessarily need high concentration to realize who and what you are. Find what works for you. Nothing that is effective is done because you follow a certain system. Systems are bullshit and a waste of time if they don’t work for you. Find what works for you or create what works for you. If you need to meditate in intervals, meditate in intervals. If you need to give verbal reminders to yourself and break your outer silence while you meditate to console yourself, provide determination and discpline, or just regather yourself, give yourself verbal reminders. If you don’t know what to do, talk to enlightened masters. They are available. You even know of them. Do you email Ralston? Do you email or get in contact with guys like Martin Ball? Do you message other yogis and other such people? From the fantasy I see on here regarding what you think enlightened people are like, the answer I would give would be no and that’s just insane. These people are available to help you. They even WANT to help you and give you their perspective. They will help dispel fantasies and just downright bullshit. They will give you tips and even provide encouragement and hook you up with connections. You need to be responsible for your own awakening because no one else is going get you to awaken but you. No guru is going to do it. You and only you can. Who else could do it? 

Done.

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Great report man. Really happy that book worked out for you and great advice on finding what works. Also jealous you got to talk with Doshin. He has a great youtube channel. 

Although I don't have ADHD, I had been getting frustrated with persistent mind wandering during my own meditation sessions, and actually ended up buying the book upon @ardacigin's recommendation as well. And I was too blown away with how much sense the approach made and the quick results I was getting. It seems that in order for one to stablize various existential insights into everyday experience, concentration ability is a great tool for this integration. At least it has been for me. SO learning how concentration naturally cultivates and develops over time on the meditation path was huge. 

Another +1 to The Mind Illuminated as a great meditation resource. 

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I had ADD since I was a kid and was on 60mg a day of adderall for 5yrs until I started my life changing awakening and went cold Turkey.  It was hard for 2 months I had 0  control over my focus and then one day I had enough and I started meditating for 6hrs straight and about 3hr in I got a headache that was so bad I couldn't open my eyes and I was balled up in bed holding my head shaking it felt like 1000PSI in my skull and after about 3hrs of that I fell asleep for 14hr and when I woke up I was ADD free and no adderall cravings or hangover symptoms and I felt like I was normal. 

The mind is a powerful thing 

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I don't understand how one of the highest Zen masters, as you said, Doshin Roshi, could have OCD?
OCD is really a mind thing, lack of letting go, creating a thought loop. I would think that a Zen master would be able to be above that?
Knows the tricks the mind plays for you to draw your attention to it?

Or do you mean he had OCD and ADD and still accomplished what he did?  Because claiming that he is still suffering OCD and ADD just seems very strange.
Certainly since OCD also happens when traumas are not well integrated / resolved, or you as I said the inability to let go. 


Could you clarify this a bit more?

Edited by Tistepiste

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7 hours ago, Tistepiste said:

I don't understand how one of the highest Zen masters, as you said, Doshin Roshi, could have OCD?
OCD is really a mind thing, lack of letting go, creating a thought loop. I would think that a Zen master would be able to be above that?
Knows the tricks the mind plays for you to draw your attention to it?

Or do you mean he had OCD and ADD and still accomplished what he did?  Because claiming that he is still suffering OCD and ADD just seems very strange.
Certainly since OCD also happens when traumas are not well integrated / resolved, or you as I said the inability to let go. 


Could you clarify this a bit more?

That's because no one truly lives up to the image that the name Guru holds. Any Guru you find these days is just making a living like everybody else

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Awesome post. I will join and recommend The Mind Illuminated. 

Also to all you people that are sincere seekers struggling with emotional and mental disorders - Never give up. Don't get defeated. And if you do, get back in there. Rewards are coming your way.

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