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Mada_

Food addiction backslide

6 posts in this topic

I don't usually like asking for advice because I feel like I should just contemplate my problems myself. I've been struggling with lash-out eating that totally derails any consciousness work being done.

Today I was actually getting to some deep places with my self-inquiry practice and doing nothing, and got to this place where there was just so much wonder and the process was becoming very organic and embodied. 

Then dinner time comes around and in this new "open-state" I thought I would diverge from my usual eating habits out of kindness for my father's cooking in which I would generally refuse; then boom, dinner is over and I'm eating dark chocolate on bread.

 

My strategy is just more do nothing/being-work, cut out any unnecessary food items like honey for flavouring on morning oats, no added salt on meals. Does anyone have anything to share on the topic of food addiction? 

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I'm really struggling with this as well. And I'm 11 months totally clean from alcohol and drugs. I'm an addict in recovery with 12 step fellowship. But I just can't shift the binge eating and sugar cravings.

However, take a look at a thread of mine I did the other day about addiction to chaos as she said a few things that make sense to me in terms of cravings and she gave some nice responses and strategies I'm going to try with regards my food problems. 

It's not about food at all her clip but it really got me thinking about other hidden benefits that I might receive from binging and general sugar consumption. 

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@Mada_ You know the disgusting state you get after/before/during binging like that? That's where you gotta self-inquire. The binge is a gift of great consciousness gains.


Use the Prayer Swat Team!

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@Mada_I struggle with that myself and noticed though that after deep realisations, lash - out eating becomes worse.
The first week or so after a really profound experience is especially challenging. I’m all back in my old self I thought I left behind.
Maybe it’s distraction? Ego - backlash? (Leo has good videos on those topics) Or some kind of test as in: Are you loving yourself yet even in this state?

Also, don’t kill yourself over some honey. I could be wrong but it seems like you’re having very, VERY high expectations for yourself.
You’re setting yourself up for failure because you’re moving in extremes. Everyone eats chocolate sometimes, you might be obsessing over things just to keep your mind busy.
Read up on ‘The middle way’ (Tao Te Ching). It’s too much to go into right now but basically you’re feeding both extremes with energy, which makes it impossible to stop.

Maybe it’s not derailing your consciousness work, maybe it’s the exact painful and uncomfortable side of you you’ll have to learn to live and deal with. It’s not easy, everyone has some kind of addiction or weak spot that seems to ‘hold them back’. Others are obsessed with jerking off or TV or whatever. Just know you’re not alone.

I just saw you’re so young and already starting with this work.
That’s great! Don’t let perfectionism (or pride) ruin your path. When you have questions, ask them!

And of course: get the basics right. Eat enough, eat regularly, etc. This video has some very good points too I find:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnAlwMfB2S0
 

That's actually a quote from the Tao Te Ching:

“Thus it is said:
The path into the light seems dark,
the path forward seems to go back,

the direct path seems long,
true power seems weak,
true purity seems tarnished,
true steadfastness seems changeable,
true clarity seems obscure,
the greatest are seems unsophisticated,
the greatest love seems indifferent,
the greatest wisdom seems childish.

The Tao is nowhere to be found.
Yet it nourishes and completes all things.”
- Lao Tzu

All the best!

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On 9/15/2019 at 9:22 AM, Mada_ said:

Then dinner time comes around and in this new "open-state" I thought I would diverge from my usual eating habits out of kindness for my father's cooking in which I would generally refuse; then boom, dinner is over and I'm eating dark chocolate on bread.

I think that if you have completely backslided just because you ate something outside of your usual "healthy" diet (that is, what your father cooked), that's a sign that your strategy for eating healthy is probably neurotic. From my experience, binge eating has a lot to do with repressing oneself. You tell yourself a lot of "no's" and you eat in a mechanical way. However, just like a pressure cooking, you sooner or later explode.

For a very long time, I was vegan and only ate extremely healthy food, with virtually no oil, salt, or sugar. I was really neurotic. Little did I know, I had developed an eating disorder called orthorexia. I was also into yoga and Buddhism. After a year of this dietary perfectionism, I was very underweight and barely ate. All the repressing I did for almost a year came back full-force to the other end of the spectrum. Even though I was still a vegan, I was eating a LOT of carbs.

Dealing with eating disorders is not easy. There is no easy solution. Most nutritionists suck, but there are some good ones. 


one day this will all be memories

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I think it is good to have like a really solid diet 80-90% of the time and have some comfort foods on occasion. I would tackle this issue alone without any others and one piece at a time. Even me stopping added sugar made me feel like I needed to get high or something. But your body adjusts to these things. It takes a lot of determination. When you go to eat the items you want to remove analyze how little and brief the pleasure is. You will find that you really are not needed a lot of that stuff. Having a dark cocoa based chocolate isn't really all that bad to my knowledge, but that would not taste quite as appealing. It may be a good way for you to lose interest in that snack if that is what you want to remove.   

 

100% of the time is pretty hard. I do not slip up on things I specifically removed though. But added sugar could come into something without my knowledge if I went to eat out, but I seldom do and it is usually the same thing if I did. I have not made the commitment to fully remove wheat, but I only eat if it if I go out maybe once a month. But dairy, meat, added sugar, and other various animal products are removed. 

I cut out carrying any frozen junk food, which was hard for a bit causing me to not have enough intake for a bit. But I have done more meal prepping and etc. 

My best tips would be:

Take your time and remove things slowly 

Do not bring the items into your house that you are removing from your diet

Resist any temptation of offers for said items from the people you live with as this will be the hardest for some. Talk to them and ask them not to.

Create a reason or a vision of how your life could be without that item. Maybe you will not know until you remove it for a couple months though. 

Do not beat yourself up while eating "junk food" just enjoy it the time you do. 

Your pallet will change the more junk you remove. Making healthier stuff a treat. 

 

 

 

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