Harikrishnan

Is it good or bad for kids.

16 posts in this topic

Today while traveling on train i saw one parent handing over there mobile to there son 2yrs of age to watch videos on YT when he cried as a way to distract him. And kid began to watch  it one after another. I have seen the same thing by my cousins also to there kids. I always thought it like  destroying kids, but tody i thought maybe am wrong it would be a part of new chidrens evolving to being inteligent.

 

 

 


I will be waiting here, For your silence to break, For your soul to shake,              For your love to wake! Rumi

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Distraction is never a good idea. That way the child doesn’t learn to properly deal with their emotions later in life. It‘s a coping mechanism. They learn to suppress them and reach for games/ videos/ food (or whatever they were taught in childhood) later in life when they experience difficult emotions. That creates a lot of tension and stress.

 

You should acknowledge your child’s  feelings whenever possible. When it‘s not possible at the moment, the difficult emotions will still be expressed later and need acknowledgment then. 

 

Crying and difficult emotions are perfectly normal and children need room to express them.

If you want them to have a stable emotional base for life, you need to let them know that whatever they’re feeling is ok. 

 

The question of whether it‘s a good idea to let kids stare at screens at an early age is a different one. I heard (and experienced in my surroundings) that it takes away creativity and initiative from children so I personally wouldn’t. 

 

But i guess it also depends on the content and frequency.

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I've see 2-3 year old kids emulate youtubers they watch. If you watch some of those videos that appeal to kids, you can see the way they act in there. They overreact, make noises, talk in a really high pitch etc. It's creeps me out seeing kids emulating this behavior in real life. Can't help but feel parents are doing a disservice to their kids in the long run.

Edited by crab12

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I think there is no way to prevent this. It is inevitable. The changes going to star after we see the real effects on this kids, in the future. So don't worry to much.

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probably it depends also a little on the content, but we already can see the effects in children who where too much confronted with tv`s in early age, it robs children a little bit of their own phantasy, can also lead to adhd and will mess up their future metaphysics if it is not balanced with more pedagogic age relevant analog games and selfexploration of their sourrounding world. even the reaction of somehow changing your mind as it is convenient for the parents and convenient for the people in a train is the same mechanism. maybe you can see how they don`t have to tend to the real needs of the child for solving conflicts and how this builds up a low frustration tolerance, it`s the same as feeding suggar or worse other drugs to them feeding the little ego that at one point will be a grown up ego, fast success but longterm effects. there was a time when children in the age of two where using a binky to calm their nerves.

two is to early, i would try to keep it hidden as long as possible, it`s enough if they start at the age of five. if you once started, it`s over - like with chocolate or icecream. i know it`s tougher for the parents on the first impression. but i wouldn`t experiment with the psyche of my child in such a way, with all we already know if we just read a little bit about early child development. and seeing how people here in the forum struggling with gaming addiction, they want to get rid of.

Edited by remember

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I remember seeing a documentary once about kids that were addicted to YouTube. I don't remember what it was called, unfortunately. There was particularly one kid, whose parents believed him to be autistic. But then they withdrew the phone, and after a couple of weeks he was pretty much a normal kid again.


I am myself, heaven and hell.

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as a mother myself.. i dont see what a phone cant be treat like any other toy... with the right supervision and making sure it doesnt became an addiction.. of course.. this is where  a lot of parents fail, they do use it indeed as a way to distract they childeren.. and for long amount of time..  as a way to get rid of the kids.. and do whatever it is they would be rather be doing.. then it DOES indeed becomes a issue...

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@kira I can agree with that if it's only used for play. But if it becomes a substitute for emotional nourishment (e.g. YouTube) then I'd say it's a problem.


I am myself, heaven and hell.

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i have two nephews. one is addicted to phones and media and another is not, they around the age 2-3 .

you can guess alone who is more happy,more fun to be with ,curious and can cope with more pain and struggle


have ADHD? click here if you want to treat it

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Youtube/smartphone might have some possitive aspects although imo there are a lot of negatives effects as well (of over-utilising i'm talking), like weakening focus skills and becoming more reactiv to instant gratification/stimulus, amongts other

But as @Jonac say I don't think it will be really avoidable, when all the 6yo kids will have their smartphone there probably will be a ton of resistance from your kid if you put a 0 smartphone policy, and even besides that, maybe that might have negative effects on the kid's ability to bound and make friend and whatever when he's the only kid in his class that doesnt have his smartphone and has no idea what all the other kids are talking about

 

Giving the smartphone specifically when the kid cries to distract him is definitly bad though, that's literally given a reward for crying and for sure this patern reinforced because it will be the same all the time) will be picked up by the kid and here you have some really bad conditioning, Eckhart Tolle talked about it in a video as well (not specifically with a smartphone but to give a reward to the kid crying so he stops crying)

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@Commodent  It becomes a probleem the second a child get addicted to it... and that happen sadly enough too fast.. its easier for parents to just handing them the phone than dealing with the childs feelings

 

and that is the very sad true of our sociaty

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@kira  Yes, and that's typically how addictions arise. They meet some very real needs. What I'm saying is, don't use devices to meet your child's interpersonal needs.

On 9/18/2019 at 0:09 PM, Jordan94 said:

I don't think it will be really avoidable

There are several parental control apps out there which could be useful.


I am myself, heaven and hell.

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Yea I think the game will be to regulate it and let our kids enjoy it without it turning too much into an addiction/over-use

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I am not a native English speaker, so I couldn't watch Leo and participate on this forum, if I hadn't learnt English to a sufficient level. The way I used to learn back in the day as a kid was watching Minecraft let's plays on youtube, then playing in multiplayer with English speaking friends and doing all sorts of stuff in English. It was a distraction, but I am glad I did it, because now I am on top of my class in English and I can understand basically anything. I think kids can easily learn a new language by watching youtube and playing video games, my nephews are 3 and 5 and they are already billingual, because they watch Peppa Pig in English instead of Czech. It's true that I have had some problem with understanding other people's emotions, but I don't really know what's more important, because like if I wasn't able to speak English at that time, I couldn't have watched the videos that started that interest to develop my understanding in me and now I have both... I think it's just too complicated, but definitely not black and white.

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@Harikrishnan  It depends on what YouTube decides the kids watch.

There's a very good chance they were watching those dumb musical alphabet or number videos. I doubt they're a positive influence to toddlers. It really hinders their development as they form an attachment to bright and colorful images on a screen.

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