orpheos

Sexual insecurity

11 posts in this topic

I had my first sex 2weeks ago. I find my partner attractive. When we have sex I don't show any sexual passion because i don't know how. Im new in sex.. I'm enjoying all those stuffs but I'm not able to share it. And my partner finds that not attractive and he thinks im like a dead body doing nothing at all, so what am i supposed to do? He lost interest in me cause i dont show any passion and dont indicate any sex.. how to overcome it Leo? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is unfortunately the side effect of a society it has the availability of porn.

He most likely has the wrong concept and has probably been numbing his imagination to reality by watching women fake scream orgasms while a dick the size of a medium sized calf muscle gets rammed in them from some freak of nature well they pretend like that's what they want and like and so in real life when the opportunity comes to share intimacy with somebody they're completely let down by the reality of the fact that women don't just start coming and their eyes roll back the second you touch their shoulder. Don't worry too much about it there's a Groove to it that if you have the right partner you Groove together there's no trying needed it's the one thing that trying ruins

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@orpheos Don't worry about 'performing' during sex. It is all about letting go ^_^

As mentioned above, your boyfriend may have some unrealistic expectations of what sex is supposed to be. Regardless, if your boyfriend loves you, he will want to work with you to make sex as comfortable and enjoyful for the both of you. This is a 'us vs it' issue, not a 'me vs you' one. Communication is key.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@MAYA EL OMG, LOL....?

Anyways, the one tip is you can try to remember: kiss, lick, suck, then start with kissing his lips and work to the ear, neck, chest, abdomen, etc, etc... using one or more of the combo: kiss, lick, suck! 

 

Edited by Anna1

“You don’t have problems; you are the problem.”

– Swami Chinmayananda

Namaste ? ?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My problem isn't moaning. It is turning on. He cant turn on cause im like dead body doing nothing. I dont know what am i supposed to do and he finds that unattractive.. Should i watch porn and educate myself or just be nature and do what i was doing before..

We are not in relationship, we just hang out sometime.. So he also said i don't indicate anything and im lame.. 

Thats the truth and i shouldn't be sad about it, i accepted it and i wanna change it.

 

The question is should i watch porn and educate myself or dont call him anymore?

And how to overcome my sexual fear of passion, how to show passion? Btw these are my first experiences so i think its normal to be confused..

Pls someone explain to me well..

 

 

 

@Leo Gura

Edited by orpheos

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@orpheos Did u read my post? 

You can do what I said while undressing him slowly. :D

Edited by Anna1

“You don’t have problems; you are the problem.”

– Swami Chinmayananda

Namaste ? ?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@orpheos you don't have to do it if you are not ready. Nobody is going to tell you how bad you are because they don't have the right to do so. 

Stop seeing him, he seems to be an abusive man who likes to take you down. No one has the right to treat you as he did. Some people are just toxic and no matter how hard it is you just have to get rid of them. 

You will find a ton of boys that will treat you better than this. It's just the start, you'll gain experience and feel so much better after meeting the next guy, and the next one etc etc 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Do more cuddles and foreplay. I’ll get you more in the mood and if you horny enough things usually just works out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@orpheos Take ownership of the problem and start acting with more passion. Fake it a bit till you make it.

Be more playful, more flirty, more proactive. Rub up on him, tease him, put your hands on him, etc.

This isn't rocket science. Don't ask how. Just do it. Learn to turn yourself on with your mind, and learn to turn him on.

If you need to watch porn, watch porn and take notes. Although really this stuff is pretty obvious.

A deeper issue you might have is shyness or fear of intimacy. Or perhaps you were raise in a family/culture which taught you to be ashamed of sex. In which case you're sexually repressed.

How do you fix that? By questioning those old beliefs to death and pushing your comfort zone and exploring sexuality. Many books have been written about sex.

Being good at sex isn't natural. It requires practice and training. Don't be afraid to practice and train. Go suck on a cucumber until you figure out a good way to do it. This kind of basic stuff is what women avoid, but it necessary if you want to get good. Don't expect good sex to happen automatically. You have to put energy and intention into it. You have to be interested in doing whatever it takes to make it good. This might mean buying books, videos, toys, courses, attending classes, watching porn, practicing, visualizing, talking with your partner, training with your partner, etc.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 9/14/2019 at 7:43 AM, Anna1 said:

@orpheos Did u read my post? 

You can do what I said while undressing him slowly. :D

No fuck that it needs to look like to people turning into werewolves trying to kill each other lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@orpheos  it`s in a sense sad that he isn`t able to teach you as he introduced you to sexuality and expects you to be experienced obviously more than him as someone who probably has more experience than you have. it almost never works out with the first guy, so take it as a chance to experiment on him what you think would turn you on - if it doesn`t work with him you can give the same compliment back to him and find someone who is a better teacher. maybe you can even teach him to be - but be careful could be that he won`t like that kind of truth. he is maybe the one who is insecure as he expects you to give better feedback to what he is doing.ask him to guide your hands or try to change position first, it`s a good starting point. it`s not only about him, it`s also about what you would like. if you don`t like cucumber you can put that on your face with a smile. you start with what you feel comfortable doing, just get actively exploring.

Edited by remember

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now