A month later after 5meo symptoms update

[NoSelfSelf]

@khalifa your story touched me deeply ?

[Nahm]

@khalifa

Feel for ya man. Just giving my two cents even though I have a hunch it will be immediately rejected, and I wouldn’t blame ya one bit for that btw. ...

 

You have the entire picture, backwards. You were doing great, loa steady, working through any limiting beliefs naturally in living & excelling... and from taking the psychedelics, you created a lot of beliefs. Beliefs wise, this is very much the opposite of what most people experience on their paths. Usually psychedelics uncover beliefs. In response to way too much way too soon, you created beliefs about yourself, but you are clearly not aware of this at all, which is understandable as you are believing the beliefs. 

 

If tonight you choose to eat fast food, preservatives & additives, a ton of sugar, a carbonated beverage, etc, it’s likely that tomorrow; clarity is diminished, body energy is poor, mood is low, productivity is reduced, vision is foggy, inspiration is faint, etc. You get the idea. You would “pay the price”, but it wouldn’t be framed up as “traumatic” - simply because you’d just be aware, that you chose to eat like that, and that you can choose not to eat like that going forward, and in understanding those two factors, you’d be relaxed, in your understanding that it’ll pass. You would essentially, learn the ”lesson”, via the suffering of the effects of having chosen to eat so poorly. 

But what if it wasn’t your food choices which were involved...what if you were not able to recognize that it was your choices, and or your beliefs, which brought the suffering? Then you would have no clue what was going on. You’d feel completely lost. You’d be looking for someone, anyone, to blame, and for someone or anyone to make sense of this - to help you understand. 

You’re not dealing with food here, or the body, or the thinking, or the experiences of psychedelics, or even feelings or emotions. And you are not even dealing with choice here. 

What “you” are ”dealing with”, is The Self. ”Who” you actually are. 

”You”, “the ego”, have hijacked the whole situation, the entire perspective. That’s never going to feel settled and aligned, because The Self is the root of sensation, feelings and emotions. 

You’re labeling a bunch of aspects of you, as if they were some other things. They’re not some other things, they are aspects of you. 

You’re in a total meta-self-denial, and you have to feel your way “out” of it, in the ‘sorting’ of your thoughts, one at a time - you’ve got to feel what is true and therefore relieving, feels good - - from what is false (beliefs about your Self), and feels contracting, constrictive, like tension, worry, anxiety, etc. Sensation is your internal compass for this, and you are not using it, because you’re labeling it with all the feelings you don’t want to feel. You are creating those not-good-feeling-feelings, by believing things about your Self which are not true.  That’s never going to “work”, because you the Truth, and The Truth is Love. False beliefs about the The Truth will never feel good because you are The Truth.  

Not sure if you’re open to what you are reading here at all really, but just in case, here’s some more two cents via ’aspects’ of you, and why reality is the way it is...my hope is that something, anything here, ‘clicks’ ‘inside you’, resonates in feeling, and you find some relief right now. As you read this, just let it be a total wash. Don’t try to ‘grasp’ it in thinking. If it doesn’t resonate in feeling, then it doesn’t, no big deal. 

 

Why you forgot yourself to begin with (Before you were born - not talking about on the ‘trips’)...  

When infinite forgets it is infinite, it perceives infinity as finite. Because infinite being is infinite, ‘it’ (You) can create anything, without limit. But, infinite being is conscious & aware, and so infinite being is aware anything created, is the very same infinite being...so there is no experience of anything created, because there is no difference, no distinctions. Anything infinite being creates, any “thing”, any “finite thing” - is known to infinite being, as infinite being. So, infinite being does the only possible thing it can do to allow for experience, and sacrifices, forgets - it’s knowing of itself. The entire world, being born, dying, and everything in-between, is precisely the way it is, because of this, and the many other ‘aspects’ or ‘facets’ of Your Self. This is why it is said Being dreams or, imagines, reality. It “puts itself to sleep”, or, “forgets itself”...because it has to, because it’s infinite. 

 

Suffering...

Nobody is suffering. There isn’t anyone who is not the very same infinite being which dreams, forgets. Believe your thoughts, beliefs, concepts, and idea’s - which feel like “fear” - and you go against your True Self, and it does not feel good, and “you” call IT suffering. ”You’re” adding the suffering, the belief “you” are separate from infinite being, believing in the “darkness”, “fear”, “sleep”, etc, as if it were something other than you. You’re not a separate self, you are an infinite being. You are the infinite being. Stop running from the truth, the running is the suffering. Truth = Love. Start questioning beliefs. You are already home, safe, and can not be harmed in any way in truth. 

Understanding is The Self.

When infinite intelligence, that which is “All-Knowing” (You), forgets itself, there appears to be knowledge, and there appears to be understanding.  Understanding is a direct, actual, ‘facet’ of you. You’re trying to understand - understanding, and coming up short, and driving yourself nuts over it. Stop trying to understand understanding, stop trying to understand - yourself. You are yourself. Don’t try to be anything. Let your beliefs, that don’t even feel good to you - go. The self that you are is death, is life, is sleep, is light, is darkness, and is your true ‘home’. These things are not things to fear. Fear is the delusion of holding these “things” as separate from you, which inherently makes you perceive as if you were separate of infinite being. Know yourself more deeply, in feeling, in love and in loving, stop trying to conceptually understand yourself. 

Know yourself (Love) more deeply, learn & know the world more, but stop waiting for some big understanding to click for you to start feeling real relief. You are already the Source of love & healing, let go of the beliefs which support that you are not. You went straight to The Self that Is Understanding Itself. You can’t think there’s some ‘thing’ you need to understand to feel better, you are Understanding, and you are the greatest feeling possible, already, veiled by a paper thin belief some condition should or will make you feel better. There is nothing in this world better than the actual you, ‘below’ those false, and terrible feeling, beliefs. Let them go. 

From going too fast with psychedelics, beliefs were heavily recreated, reinforced, seemingly hijacking The Self, by hijacking the facets. But there really wasn’t any “hijacking”, you’re just believing a lot of falsities about fear, death, sleep, etc. 

Not Knowing...

Infinite being is infinite. There’s nothing to “know”, in terms of self knowledge. Feel instead. Would you rather feel love for five minutes, or have ten thousand thoughts? Do you see that feeling is orders of magnitude beyond “thinking” “knowledge”? 

The Light...

Infinite being, is absolute light. In forgetting, you veil this from yourself, and there appears to be - darkness. It’s a veil. It’s you. Stop believing “darkness” is something to be afraid of. It isn’t. It’s you too. Holding such beliefs reinforces the idea that you are a “separate self”. You’re not a separate self. You’re the love we all are. 

Potentiality...

Infinite, is limitless. When infinite potentiality forgets itself, there appears to be solidity, “matter”, and  by deduction of thought, a “finite mind”. You can choose any perspective you want, about anything. You can google and read, and learn, and create and choose new expanded perspectives. You can utilize sensation, feeling, your “inner compass”, to navigate in truth, in resonance with what feels right for you. Pretending you are “stuck” with your current, or any perspective ever - is simply not true, and will feel terrible, until you let the belief in this go. Such a limiting belief also reinforces the idea that you are a separate self. You’re not. You are infinite potential. That, which these words are registering with right now, is understanding, is potentiality. 

Peace...

When infinite peace forgets itself, there appears to be chaos, disorder, uncertainty, need, etc. Sound is made of vibration, of waves, which we call frequencies, in our measuring of them, with our ears, and with instruments. These vibrations are made of infinite being. It is infinite being “oscillating”, “vibrating”. All sound is made possible by the silence, by eternal peace...it is the infinite peace itself which is vibrating, is the sound. Holding beliefs to the contrary, refraining from educating about this - is creating & perpetuating the suffering, the idea of the separate self. 

Love 

When infinite love forgets itself, there appears to be - well, everything other than infinite love, namely, fear and self doubt. The root of your suffering is the fact that you are infinite love. If the absolute, the most fundamental basis of you, was not such an ineffable blissful pure love...then there would be no contrast, no experience. It is only possible for you to “feel bad”, because of the contrast, the apparent difference. 

It is only possible for this suffering to continue, if you continue holding your beliefs about darkness, sleeping, fear, death, etc, yourself. These are beliefs. Inspect them, let them go. Relax into these inspections. There’s no hurry. Follow feeling. Stop blaming the body, the mind, the neurons, stop trying to “cherry pick”, stop believing “trauma” is effecting the infinite being that you are. 

Your “issue” is just beliefs. Hard to see as you have your ideas of, and the actuality of, who you are, backwards. 

[Angelite]

@khalifa khalifa...I think it was trying to kill your soul. Remember your Creator & it shall go away. 

[khalifa]

@fridjonk

19 hours ago, fridjonk said:

@khalifa I'm sure it will get better over time, wishing you all the best.                                  

 thanks, I am getting better i notice some improvements, like a few symptoms that have gone away and felt like i'm being more stable, like i've lost the symptoms of being stuck in time for eternity (can't really tell it felt like 5000-10k years ) or losing my identity or consciousness traveling/zooming while staying still in the same place ( hard to explain since it's unspeakable) , Feeling super dead 24/7 (first 4days - 2 weeks were my hardest coping weeks with increased sensitivity to life, i couldn't really function/play video games or watch anything since it was unbearable)  all those are gone so i'm in a lot of relief yet, it does feel difficult with the remaining ones

Edit: burning spinal cord sensation is gone although it does vibrate randomly through out the day

then again it's a roller coaster i thought i lost the symptoms of tripping then boom out of no where i get more than 1 in a night like heart racing for hours followed by all the loud vibrations in my head and body [measuring my symptoms to make my self feel better about the progress as i ground myself, although i feel like it may backfire]

@Leo Gura

I've done so much self help for years, binged on your videos / read over 30ish books from your book list, did the find your life purpose program, Done lots of youtube spirtuality/self help binge too. I'm just so sick of it i can't seem to stomach it or do that anymore, I have no more motivation for it, I used to have that drive to go for it that's why i probably spent over 10k+ hours in the past 3 years. I can't see myself going back to that since i feel like life should be simple, as i live it by my own terms and understanding with the current phase i'm in while cherry picking in a simple way of manner, no need to try hard it out or figure something out with extra brute force, just letting it unfold naturally

 

 

Edited October 21, 2019 by khalifa

[khalifa]

@Nahm

It's just from my understanding of infinite, infinite doesn't mean love,

infinite also means infinite delivery and infinite suffering, talking about it as infinite as love seems like a nice idea, i should probably believe in that placebo it would serve me good

but i'm just being realistic I know it's not all dandy flowers at the end of the day ;(

I wish it was, maybe i'm wrong since part of it is infinite ignorance, not knowing about itself

To me conceptually, i understand that consciousness should be biased to pick more well being and love to itself and improve overtime, knowing it's alive etc, but yet again i can see aspects of itself being so destructive to itself, so that bias doesn't really stand as fact when i try to test it out, it's just so neutral nahm, i just can't see love and positive being the everything, since i'm aware there are other infinities beyond this realm that isn't just about a dualistic approach of a physical realm role play dance here beyond our current science or perspectives in this realm

But it is a good card to draw out love, i mean what do we really have to lose since it's a cherry picking game in the end? sorry if i'm not understanding you, it's just bad sleep i take a while reading a big chunk of textwall and i keep forgetting what i read from time to time, atleast i'm functional but it really does take effort to process life lately, doesn't feel as natural

 

Just as infinite love of god wins all the time, the infinite destruction of god wins too, why? because it's infinite

So being happy about infinity is somewhat hard to stomach for me, but hey it's better than nothing..

Alright i'm willing to let go again, letting it unfold naturally again

 

@Angelite

my creator is a contradiction which is very neutral sometimes I wonder if that even helps, i guess in a sense that pure magic neutral is better than nothing which is nothing oh dear, back to square 1, but i do have a lot of faith in unfolding since it's the only card that i could pull and trust in since i came in this far

 

 

 

 

Edited October 21, 2019 by khalifa

[ardacigin]

18 hours ago, khalifa said:

then i have night 4x in a row where i trip up to 9 times (this was recent last week)

Isn't that too much tripping? It appears you were going too fast without enough integration. Try to stop doing psychedelics until you feel better.

[Leo Gura]

6 hours ago, khalifa said:

I can't see myself going back to that since i feel like life should be simple, as i live it by my own terms and understanding with the current phase i'm in while cherry picking in a simple way of manner, no need to try hard it out or figure something out with extra brute force, just letting it unfold naturally

So make it simple and natural then.

That of course is all part of the work.

You have to customize this work to fit yourself.

Doing this work mechanically or out of a sense of obligation will backfire. The key to spirituality is finding ways to make it seamlessly integrated with your way of life. Not as something gym exercises you force yourself to do once a day, just so you can fall right back into asleep once the timer rings.

Ask yourself, "What would it look like for me to live a conscious lifestyle naturally?", "What would it look like if I lived consciously all the time and it was something naturally did, not something I forced myself to do? How would I think, emote, speak, behave?"

[remember]

6 hours ago, khalifa said:

It's just from my understanding of infinite, infinite doesn't mean love,

infinite also means infinite delivery and infinite suffering, talking about it as infinite as love seems like a nice idea, i should probably believe in that placebo it would serve me good

but i'm just being realistic I know it's not all dandy flowers at the end of the day ;(

I wish it was, maybe i'm wrong since part of it is infinite ignorance, not knowing about itself

the moment you apply any meaning to infinite it`s not absolute infinity anymore. everything you percive as the infinite moment is only that what you make of it. if a moment is infinite like your sleeping problem, which you seem to have already longer is an infinity that has been repeated for several infinities already and it seems to be stuck there as if you could not reprogram it. did you try sleeping with a bed light, relaxing music? try doing some relaxing meditation or yin yoga, before you go to sleep, try doing spirit travel, shamanic travel? very conciously, some time before you go to sleep. you can try it in combination with self hypnosis if you dare. get prepared to face these flashbacks, maybe you can sleep more silently afterwards.

nothing is a placebo, love is love it`s not  a placebo because the moment you apply it it already is. hope you get well soon.

Edited October 21, 2019 by remember

[Nahm]

6 hours ago, khalifa said:

@Nahm

It's just from my understanding of infinite, infinite doesn't mean love,

my (1) understanding (2) of infinite (3) doesn’t “mean” love (4).....1,2,3, & 4 are the same entity, you. 

You hold yourself separate, as “the one who understands”. That is suffering. You can feel instead. Let “my understanding of infinity” go, and start feeling. 

infinite also means infinite delivery and infinite suffering, talking about it as infinite as love seems like a nice idea, i should probably believe in that placebo it would serve me good

Up to you of course, but I suggest letting beliefs go, and feeling. Just actually love. No need for a “concept of it”. 

but i'm just being realistic I know it's not all dandy flowers at the end of the day ;(

Again, I would let that belief go. Or at least consider you got it wrong, and that’s why it feels terrible, and isn’t making sense. 

I wish it was, maybe i'm wrong since part of it is infinite ignorance, not knowing about itself

You went so fast with ibogaine and 5meo, that you seem to have skipped past a more common realization that all thinking is dualistic, and sensation, feeling, is not. Feeling who you really are, being your self, is a higher order of “knowing” than thinking. (The veil of duality). This is confusing for you because you have labeled certain parts of the true self (death, sleep, dark, etc) and ‘other than me’, so you are fearing yourself, and perpetuating it by holding your concepts & beliefs. Let em all go, see what actually remains. 

To me conceptually, i understand that consciousness should be biased to pick more well being and love to itself and improve overtime, knowing it's alive etc, but yet again i can see aspects of itself being so destructive to itself, so that bias doesn't really stand as fact when i try to test it out,

Right, this is why we let go of concepts. Consciousness “picking” is again confusion of dualistic thinking, and oneness. You think you realized insight that you have not yet, and it feels terrible because it’s not true, and is feeling-less thinking.  

it's just so neutral nahm,

Print that statement and tape it to your fridge. One day, you will laugh every time you recall that you said it about yourself.  Good to be honest like that in the mean time. The path to Truth is of course, honesty. More of that would serve you so well. 

i just can't see love and positive being the everything, since i'm aware there are other infinities beyond this realm that isn't just about a dualistic approach of a physical realm role play dance here beyond our current science or perspectives in this realm

You’re talking about you. You think you’re talking about “some other thing” - infinity. That “some other thing”, is thinking, which you are believing. Let beliefs go. Scrutinize. 

But it is a good card to draw out love, i mean what do we really have to lose since it's a cherry picking game in the end?

“Cherry picking” is a write off. It enables duality, thinking, the chooser, to remain. There is no end, and you can let beliefs go like anyone, and feel more deeply. Satisfaction is not a thought, is not dualistic. 

It is typically advised people do years of practices and learning theory, setting a proper foundation, rather than taking 5meo, conceptualizing themself as “infinity” and ending up worse off. Again though, entirely up to you how you want to look at this. 

sorry if i'm not understanding you, it's just bad sleep i take a while reading a big chunk of textwall and i keep forgetting what i read from time to time, atleast i'm functional but it really does take effort to process life lately, doesn't feel as natural

It’s the overthinking, which is fueled by emotional suppression, fear. The believing of your own concepts keeps this in place, so you add the belief of infinite suffering, etc. Up to you. Let it go, or don’t. 

Just as infinite love of god wins all the time, the infinite destruction of god wins too, why? because it's infinite

“Winning” is egoistic, dualistic, ”Charlie Sheen” level consciousness. Let it go, for the real ‘thing’, which is felt, not thought. God has nothing to win. Again, this points straight to your misunderstanding of duality / relativity, and oneness / infinity. You’re believing thoughts, rather than letting beliefs go. This is basic, fundamental path work...Which you are dramatizing and suffering for. Humble on down to practice and learning town. Stop “knowing” what you don’t really know. 

So being happy about infinity is somewhat hard to stomach for me, but hey it's better than nothing..

That’s because it’s your ideas, your concepts. There isn’t anything to stomach. You are infinity. You aren’t what you’re thinking about. It’s great that you’re expressing this stuff though, this is ‘doing the work’, bringing your beliefs to light. 

Alright i'm willing to let go again, letting it unfold naturally again

Let go of what? Curious....

my creator is a contradiction which is very neutral sometimes I wonder if that even helps, i guess in a sense that pure magic neutral is better than nothing which is nothing oh dear, back to square 1, but i do have a lot of faith in unfolding since it's the only card that i could pull and trust in since i came in this far

Look at your sneakiness & cleverness at play here. Infinity, love, etc - all something else - not you, until the adverse perspective is offered, and then you point out the contradiction of my and creator. Sooooo sneaky!!!

 

 

 

 

[khalifa]

@ardacigin

i'm sorry there appears to be a misunderstanding, I have not used 5meo to trip since my first use, it just comes to me and it gets trippy like without any psychedelic use, it's more of a strange mini 5meo activation but still very scary it's just an HPPD/PTSD symptom i have

It used to be much stronger the first 4 days up till 2 weeks, then it started getting weaker overtime, yet it goes up like a roller coaster all of a sudden and happens over and over again in a night

 

@Leo Gura

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

So make it simple and natural then.

Ask yourself, "What would it look like for me to live a conscious lifestyle naturally?", "What would it look like if I lived consciously all the time and it was something naturally did, not something I forced myself to do? How would I think, emote, speak, behave?"

ironically the same shit that i'm doing right now, letting go of control slowly, cherry picking small things at times, not being too attached on them if they don't go my way, loving myself as i'm aware it's all a temporary present moment, so i just trust in my process and enjoy the unfolding naturally, i go after my interests as they come up to be real like, just how i resonated with your teachings in the past strongly, but that phase has been over and i've moved on from hardcore self help practice, I feel like i have a strong base, a decent foundation to navigate life to know what i the illusionary i wants to experience and respect it for what it is and not beat up on it to die early, i feel sorry that i attacked it that hard, it clearly wasn't ready for any of this, but then again nothing is really ultimately bad so this unique road for it is still going to be great, that's what i decided i'll just take care of khalifa with some love slowly at a time, till it heals up from it's current phase and moves on to something more favorable to it while letting go of the very favorable it wants/needs. just another simple basic teaching that helps cope make mundane beautiful again imo

current days go by like this for me: wake up, walking/uni/workouts/ some pc use/shower/sleep - repeat , I notice i don't have alot of social interaction besides real life university and forum use, i'm honestly content with it besides fighting for sleep at night

 

@Nahm thank you babe, love you ❤️❤️❤️

 

 

[outlandish]

14 minutes ago, khalifa said:

It used to be much stronger the first 4 days up till 2 weeks, then it started getting weaker overtime, yet it goes up like a roller coaster all of a sudden and happens over and over again in a night

current days go by like this for me: wake up, walking/uni/workouts/ some pc use/shower/sleep - repeat , I notice i don't have alot of social interaction besides real life university and forum use, i'm honestly content with it besides fighting for sleep at night

It's good to hear that the overall trajectory is that the HPPD/PTSD is weakening over time, and that you are getting some good rest from time to time. That will shoehorn you back into a healthy cycle.

Are you drinking any coffee or taking any stimulants? Are you using cannabis? Any other drugs you're taking? You should abstain from cannabis completely and avoid any caffeine past mid-day. Skip stimulants too if you're taking any, obviously. It's probably something you've looked at, but just thought I'd mention.

It sounds to me like you could benefit from a bit more socialization, do you have family nearby? I know you're content with it, but sometimes your being needs social activity even when you don't recognize it. We humans are social creatures, and the social net helps to stabilize us, in a good way.

[Nahm]

@khalifa Love you ♥️ As far as inspecting the beliefs, careful not to mix the fear of what you’ll find, with the relief you are actually finding. 

[khalifa]

@outlandish

I'm clean very clean, I don't use any stimulants.

As for my diet it used to be dirty, for a while i used to eat pizzas/burgers all sorts of junk just to ground myself to lower my vibration but still none of that worked out for me my body kept vibrating regardless to what junk i ate, and i would feel like shit/worse overtime as i ate that junk so i decided to eat cleaner recently.

I've replaced my junk food with huel, i've been doing 48hour fasts for a while thinking it would help, just took a break from it for 2 weeks, and will continue to do 48s but this time my refeeds won't be junk but will drink some huel instead, will see how i feel, I just started 2 days ago. I can't really see any massive difference, I feel like i've restarted my process since 2 nights ago the heartracing felt like it reset my vibrations to be so scared, not sure if it's the huel or just a random fluke ;(

@Nahm

Will do, although at the time of action, when hardcore feelings arise, it's difficult to interact and remember most of this, as my instinct is so resistant, but will try to keep it simple and let go and let it unfold naturally (i've failed to do so many times no idea if i might eventually get the hang out of it)

[Nahm]

@khalifa Understandable for sure. You kicked the consciousness up to eleven, so a lot is coming out. It’s all good, and very worthwhile, but also the sensitivity is very heightened. So resistance you used to hold without noticing, is now in the light of awareness. 

“When hardcore feelings arise”

I would equate letting go to nothing. An idea of nothing, but still, I mean a total opposite of everything ; any doing, fixing, ‘working on it’, inspecting, etc. When the feelings arise, relax, breath, and mentally chill... be detached in the sense of be interested to learn about this and see what’s going on, and attached in sensation, in feeling in the body, as much as possible, to have the biggest ‘sample size’ to study. Know that it is a from-in-to-out ‘movement’, letting go = letting ‘it’ out. As emotion ‘clears out’, some notion arises behind them. Just be interested, let that be enough. 

[outlandish]

@khalifa Good to hear you're living clean. What's huel? I don't think you should be fasting right now, your body has had its world turned upside down. Eating healthy, clean, and steadily will be better for stabilizing your system.

No cannabis then right?

[khalifa]

@outlandish   Yeah no cannabis

 

https://uk.huel.com/pages/the-huel-powder-formula-explained

 

It's just some vegan meal replacement powder made mainly from Oats,Pea Protein, Flaxseed, Brown Rice Protein, MCT Oil that is supposed to nutritionally complete with it's nutrition profile.

 

As for fasting, I thought it would be healing for it to be purified with increased autophagy this way hence the fasting, Isn't this common

 

It's probably not as good as eating real food, but it's way better than eating the junk food i was on , I like it because it's convenient and easy to drink since i don't have much of an appetite these days

Edited October 21, 2019 by khalifa

[outlandish]

@khalifa Ah I see, I had never heard of that. Sounds like a good fallback if you're having troubles with appetite.

As far as fasting goes, you're going to hear a lot of different advice from different people, so ultimately you're going to have to make the call yourself. IMO you don't need to be fasting right now, you need to emphasize stability for your organism, avoid anything that will shock. A steady flow of good, consistent nutrition and moderate exercise over the long course will help stabilize your whole system. You don't need purification, you've had plenty of that ( - maybe too much!), or autophagy right now.

As a general rule of thumb: Excessive purity is toxic.

[Surfingthewave]

@khalifa Did you have severe anxiety before you start taking psychedelics / doing self help work? 

[khalifa]

@Surfingthewave never experienced any of that in my life, i was always stable and sane all my life, I had few moments of being shy or slightly scared about not doing well for an exam or overthinking or if i did offend someone or not, but those pass away so fast within minutes that i didn't care much about it overtime, and they would never affect my physiology ever even if my mind kept bringing them up for hours or a few days, this seems to be on another level of sensitivity + racing mind that would it affects my overall pulse/heartbeat of my body even without thought, it can go for minutes or hours

Edited October 22, 2019 by khalifa

[archi]

@khalifa Do not fast for just 2 days, either you do it for longer like 5-7days or intermittent fasting.