A thought: for every serotonin drop, the ego must 'die' more in order to

[Nivsch]

Make me feel as good as I felt before the serotonin level got down. Like this:

If serotonin level is "10" and ego level is 10 you will feel harmony.

But if your serotonin drops to "8" but ego stays at 10, you will be:

1. overwhelmed

2. Unable to organize all your toughts and you will have a neurologic civil war in your brain.

3. or just that your fears will apear more prone to happen in reality.

Thats MY feeling and interpretation.

I know its simplistic and the real picture is a lot more complex - dozens of parameters, BUT, i can't overlook the fact that almost every year, in mid-summer, when light time begins to decline, my ocd incline and getting to its peak in August-October (averagely).

I know that I am not supposed to look for ways to "improve" my situation (or am I?) Because than the duality in my mind just get stronger and all the point is to teach my mind that this duality (in mood) is just falsehood in its root.

But anyway, i wanted to share this tought with you. If you want to add things from your experience or just what do you think about it - it can be nice to develop the topic, of course only if you want and have something to add not easy for me this period in the year, but I find spiritual tools absolutely helpful to me.

Edited September 5, 2019 by Nivsch

[hamedsf]

as you've written: ""the real picture is a lot more complex with dozens of parameters"", so you kinda answered your own question that the issue of OCD doesn't boil down to the simplistic mathematical equations that if that is higher than this, you'll definitely experience that mood! that's just true on the paper, and when you apply it in the reality you see a different kind of direction, just like the lessons of classical physics in our high school that we tend to imagine and depict the trajectory of a projectile in a fixed and specific direction. but when we did it in reality, plenty of factors were engaged in the direction of a projectile. 
so when we're just referring to our own specific problem inside ourselves, we should dig deeper to see the roots and many factors causing the problem, so knowing the approximate time and month of the manifestation of a psychological problem doesn't mean that we should only turn to simplistic ideas rather than seeking the multiple-factor complication. so try to solve the problem immediately, find ways to improve it. you're compelled to do it even if the salvation is in the material world!! 

[Nivsch]

@hamedsf actually you are right but the light parameter seems to be very strong and persisting of deremine my mood every year.

August-October are the worst most of the years.

March-May is the best period for my mental well being almost every year!!

Thats the periods of time when the derivative (slope of change) of light time and intensity (angle from zenith = radiation) are at maximum. Trust me im meteorologist ?

The slope is the most important because the body get accostumed to minimum light in december and january and the effect is decrease. Thats why the absolute light is less important.

It is very very strong in my case that what i feel.

About the rest of your message - I read all of it but i will read again to make sure i understand you and than I will reply again

Edited September 6, 2019 by Nivsch

[hamedsf]

@Nivsch I didn't know that you were a meteorologist! awesome! I thought that you had degrees in politics!

Yes, Read that one more time, as I wrote in the body, there could be dynamical parameters and factors for our mood. one of the thousands could be: weather! 

for example, speaking of my mood, my mood is better when the weather is clouded and gloomy, but it's not determined when it's sunny! 

for the overall mood, thousands upon thousands factors could engage, weather, nutrition, sleep hours, so on and so forth.

[Nivsch]

@hamedsf nutrition is the next project - to be more close to 801010, but still with legums too. i believe those are important too. The thing is that everytime I get attached to one thing like enlightenment it becomes very hard to me to try another parameters in the same time because than i wont know the source of the improvement (enlightenment or nutrition) and it makes me feel so hard dissonance i cant stand it, so I surrender to one parameter and go only with it for a while.

Edited September 9, 2019 by Nivsch