Somatic Experiencing trauma therapy

[Matt23]

Have any of you tried Peter Levine's Somatic Experiencing trauma therapy?

I'm trying to heal this tension in my heart which seems to be related with me pushing people away.  

Additionally, any info or experiences in prenatal trauma or infant trauma would be appreciated.

Cheers

[Firebirdz]

Yes. Good stuff. You are on the right path. Keep going.

 

Look up stanislav grof COEX on trauma u mentioned.

 

I can also recommend de-armouring OR Rebirthing.

[kag101]

 

[Nahm]

@Matt23 Worked with people who suffered from trauma not quite prenatal, but post birth, prior to or during fundamental identity creation. Their breakthroughs were found in understanding the feeling, or sensations they experienced, had no thought nor thought story associated (the understanding of why there was no understanding) A most difficult suffering, which they had experienced their entire lives, and had tried everything under the sun to resolve. 

The understanding that the trauma was prior to understanding, and again, prior to identity, after some discussion, was a tremendous emotional release. In a sense, the identity facets which did not form, or were ‘paused’ leaving gaps, are reforming in healthy ways. If this rings a bell, let me know and I am happy to help in any way I can. 

[Nahm]

@Matt23 Wants & desires come from sensation and ‘meet’ thought / duality / and manifest as choices. If one has chronically suppressed sensations, one has unknowingly chronically created the very emotions one does not want, which perpetuate the suppression. A vicious loop I’d wish upon no one. 

The usefulness of writing what you want on a big dry erase board, in terms of suffering, especially of chronic recreation of emotional discord (unalignment) , is that - because you do have wants, because you do have desires - the writing of them, as seen by the eyes, and recognized by the mind - triggers ‘that you have suppressed sensations’, and can be the beginning of healing. Oversimplified, but, the brain - often for the first time in one’s life - begins to literally see what has been only previously felt. And it felt bad, and so innocently, was avoided. 

[Matt23]

@Nahm

On 8/22/2019 at 4:18 PM, Nahm said:

Worked with people who suffered from trauma not quite prenatal, but post birth, prior to or during fundamental identity creation. Their breakthroughs were found in understanding the feeling, or sensations they experienced, had no thought nor thought story associated (the understanding of why there was no understanding) A most difficult suffering, which they had experienced their entire lives, and had tried everything under the sun to resolve. 

On 8/22/2019 at 4:18 PM, Nahm said:

If this rings a bell, let me know and I am happy to help in any way I can. 

It could be true.  What I notice for myself is that there's a tension in my upper chest which, when I bring mindfulness to it, can subside to a smaller area of tension.  Though this tension feels very physical in nature and very strong.  Like it's my muscles/bones contracting.  I have felt inklings of emotional pain, though this could be a result from the tension and not the cause.  I'm not sure yet.  

Also, it seems like it inhibits me from connecting me with others.  While tree planting and going to a festival recently, there were moments where I managed to release the tension for a bit and it totally changed how I interacted with others:  going from awkward, avoidant, stressed, to open, loving, and joyful. 

I'm also seeing how I could be pushing people away and this tension might be a self-protection against other people.  While this tension happens around people, I try to move past the awkward loss of connection and see if there's anything deeper.  What seems to be the case is me hating other people.  Sometimes, while alone, I've gone to a place where I hiss and act like an animal to other people.  Like an animal would who's threatened....

I seem to have a very difficult time developing relationships (friends, intimate) and feeling connected to others.  I don't think I've ever really felt the security from belonging to a group.  I think this tension (whatever it is) is directly correlated to that.

I've tried lots of meditation, some reiki, and self-investigation and love to try and release the tension but it's really strong.  It feels like a leech that closes me off from others and cause other self-destructive behaviors.

Besides reiki and meditation, do you know of or have any experience with other forms of healing work (trauma, energy, etc.)?

Thanks for any info or thoughts.

 

[Matt23]

Oh... I've been told that when I was a kid I had the chicken pox really badly and had a sever seizure where I went to the hospital.  Sometimes I wonder if that affected me and if it's the cause (or a partial cause) to this feeling/block...

[Nahm]

On 8/22/2019 at 7:24 PM, Nahm said:

@Matt23 Wants & desires come from sensation and ‘meet’ thought / duality / and manifest as choices. If one has chronically suppressed sensations, one has unknowingly chronically created the very emotions one does not want, which perpetuate the suppression. A vicious loop I’d wish upon no one. 

The usefulness of writing what you want on a big dry erase board, in terms of suffering, especially of chronic recreation of emotional discord (unalignment) , is that - because you do have wants, because you do have desires - the writing of them, as seen by the eyes, and recognized by the mind - triggers ‘that you have suppressed sensations’, and can be the beginning of healing. Oversimplified, but, the brain - often for the first time in one’s life - begins to literally see what has been only previously felt. And it felt bad, and so innocently, was avoided. 

Any thoughts on this?

 

[Matt23]

hmm... 

48 minutes ago, Nahm said:

If one has chronically suppressed sensations, one has unknowingly chronically created the very emotions one does not want, which perpetuate the suppression. A vicious loop I’d wish upon no one.

After recently watching Leo's series on survival, I could see how I'm the one actually creating this feeling and am in part actually wanting to keep it (and all the other behaviors) "surviving."  Also that I could be suppressing them since I want to keep them going, or/and that the conditioning I received told me that those ways of feeling and behaving aren't "good".  So I suppress them in order to survive socially.

 

51 minutes ago, Nahm said:

The usefulness of writing what you want on a big dry erase board, in terms of suffering, especially of chronic recreation of emotional discord (unalignment) , is that - because you do have wants, because you do have desires - the writing of them, as seen by the eyes, and recognized by the mind - triggers ‘that you have suppressed sensations’, and can be the beginning of healing. Oversimplified, but, the brain - often for the first time in one’s life - begins to literally see what has been only previously felt. And it felt bad, and so innocently, was avoided. 

I'm not sure if I totally understand this part.  I've done Leo's life purpose course and have spent lots of time thinking about my values and purpose.  But this, I feel, has done little to relieve this particular issue.  

I've also journaled and drawn the sequences of behavior and feelings I feel which may have done something.  But nothing substantial that I noticed.

Are you saying that if I write what I feel on a board and visualize it, I'll gain a different perspective on it and recognize it consciously so as to help be liberated and healed from it?

Could you elaborate?

[Nahm]

24 minutes ago, Matt23 said:

Are you saying that if I write what I feel on a board and visualize it, I'll gain a different perspective on it and recognize it consciously so as to help be liberated and healed from it?

 

It’s experiential so you’d have to try it and see, but writing the question, “what do I really want” on a large dry erase board and writing everything that comes to mind can change everything. There’s a good chance things will come up which you might not have thought of previously. Being able to see it visually brings clarity, ease, and understanding of what’s going on emotionally, which the mind doesn’t readily have clarity to decipher within itself, so to speak. Honest expression of desire is like a light on ‘what’s stopping us’. This can “pull more of you out of you” and there is tremendous healing in the process both bodily and psychologically. The synchronicities which present themselves in this endeavor are delightful, rewarding, and revealing. In allowing what is wanted to come, in choosing a better, more aligned thought, one is on the path to realizing effortlessness. A deeper connection with sensations comes about, a new meaning and purpose in sensation, if you will. The universe itself begins to experienced quite differently. 

Of course, write anything ‘going on with you’ on the board too, so you can have a look at it. This does make the understanding much, much easier. 

It also pairs nicely into contemplation, and the development of an inner world connection which is very helpful in terms of guidance through your new adventures.