herghly

Extreme Backsliding

15 posts in this topic

This year I've done a lot of spiritual/personal development work. I've done 2 silent meditation retreats and have had a handful of profound psychedelic experiences. After meditation retreats and psychedelic trips, I notice I tend to backslide. However this last week I've backslid into old habits I had YEARS AGO. I'm not even sure why this has happened.

I understand backsliding is normal when we are on this journey. But right now I feel like I am battling against habits and thought patterns I had YEARS AGO

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

New term. Backsliding. Try a new topic such a discipline, motivation, desire. You have no desire. What is your desire, enlightenment?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@herghly This is interesting I've had a similar experience. It's almost the deeper you go, the more your spiritual work intensifies, the more your backsliding intensifies.

For me, following retreats, I would self inquire more.  The space of awareness (awareness of the concept of backsliding) seemed to become clearer and clearer.

You used the term battling. I'm just curious why you used this word. Is it really a battle? What has your spiritual insights taught you about your thought patterns and previous habits? 

Edited by Surfingthewave

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@herghly Don't get discouraged. It's okay. Enjoy it a bit and carry on with the work.

Guilting yourself for backsliding only adds fuel to the fire.

Don't forget to love yourself and have compassion for yourself in this work. This is very challenging work you're doing.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 14.8.2019 at 4:27 AM, herghly said:

 

I understand backsliding is normal when we are on this journey. But right now I feel like I am battling against habits and thought patterns I had YEARS AGO

@herghly Yeah, that's totally normal. You're dealing with your karmic memory. Remember, everything tends to behave in a cyclical manner. I was also quite surprised when I noticed such patterns myself. But just don't resist them and they will pass on their own. You're (probably) doing fantastic! :D


Hey, what's up! This is Jack R. Hayes, I'm an author, currently living in Germany. Thus far, I've written two books, both in English and German; one's called "User's Manual for Human Beings", and the other one's called "The Wisdom Espresso". If you'd like to check out my work, visit me at  https://jackrhayes.de  or go to Amazon and search for my name. I'd be happy to see you there!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@herghly it happened to me too, after a 1 week retreat i fell into a maddening porn spree. Sometimes i fee like retreats are more danger than good, i think it triggers homeostasis to hard.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I too have a question regarding this. Would be grateful if someone could help me out here.

 

If the backsliding part is where the ego tries to achieve homeostasis, then if we give in to it, how does growth happen? Because for growth to happen, shouldn't the ego find a higher level to be at rest? 

I am sure using terms like 'higher level' along with 'ego' could be misunderstood in this case, but I hope you understand what I mean.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The backslide is never going to take you back to where you began. It's not like you can backslide to 1st grade arithmetic. You forgot a lot of math from high school, but you ain't back to grade 1. There is always some stuff you can't forgrt even if you wanted to. And it's always easier to relearn what you forgot than learning it the first time.

The first time is the hardest.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

The backslide is never going to take you back to where you began. It's not like you can backslide to 1st grade arithmetic. You forgot a lot of math from high school, but you ain't back to grade 1. There is always some stuff you can't forgrt even if you wanted to. And it's always easier to relearn what you forgot than learning it the first time.

The first time is the hardest.

Yeah, I actually do resonate with that answer at a deeper level. Even though during the backslide stages I might think I am back to square 1, after that stage passes I do feel like I am better than before. Thank you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Chi_ One of the most important things I learned during this back and forth is that you can't hold onto what you learn. Especially not mentally. It's always good practice to let go of what you think you learned. What you really do learn and keep are changes in your very Being - energetical knots are resolved (be it on the mental, physical, emotional or spiritual level) and there's nothing you have to do to "keep it". Trying to do so stretches the whole process in my experience. Of course integration through reflection is very helpful and often necessary to deepen the lesson, but in the end - let it go. You don't really control any of that. 

Edited by peanutspathtotruth

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Perhaps instead of backsliding which implies the negative, we could think of another term which indicates growth, wisdom, guidance and positivity fostering more self love on the path. 

I'm thinking like the in and out of the breath, or expansion and contraction, when you "let go" of old habits you'll be getting pulled back, but maybe it's more like a wiggly line. We could call it self expansion, developing or self realising? 

Edited by Surfingthewave

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 hours ago, peanutspathtotruth said:

@Chi_ One of the most important things I learned during this back and forth is that you can't hold onto what you learn. Especially not mentally. It's always good practice to let go of what you think you learned. What you really do learn and keep are changes in your very Being - energetical knots are resolved (be it on the mental, physical, emotional or spiritual level) and there's nothing you have to do to "keep it". Trying to do so stretches the whole process in my experience. Of course integration through reflection is very helpful and often necessary to deepen the lesson, but in the end - let it go. You don't really control any of that. 

Thank you for that, it is quite easy sometimes to get stuck in the mental aspect of this work as long as there is still an identification to our ego and mind. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now