can't fall asleep after 5meo bad trip, it's been 4 days please help

[OBEler]

@khalifa Ok sorry for my miss diagnosing. This sounds not like sleep paralysis but like kundalini awakening, which is great news if you are prepared for this (if not, well... there are enough reports how to handle if the symptoms get too strong). Just stay away from any mind alternating drug for some time I think. The kundalini energy will transform you to a higher level being

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

Not meaning to oppose others but I think 1 to 2 Xanax, some comfort food and maybe watching the three stooges or anything you think would help this break worry spell and anxiety cycle. Just my opinion. Good luck.

Also reciting the Jesus Prayer or a version thereof - "Christ have mercy on me" or simply lay on the bed chant singing the word "Love". One time years ago chanting the word love over and over dramatically brought me out of a terrible condition.

[khalifa]

@SunnyNewDay   i notice my vibrations are always present its hard to even tell sometimes if im relaxed or not even with music on i start doubting myself but im like no i feel fine, kind of confusing did u feel anything similar to this?

 

@OBEler doubt the kundalini hype on changing me into a higher vibrational being, we're all pretty much equal as one always one

Edited August 10, 2019 by khalifa

[Nahm]

@khalifa

I really feel for ya.

By that, I mean I’m literally going into sensation and bringing forward wisdom / truth / love, on your behalf, in an attempt to help you connect a couple dots on your path. The point of doing this is simply so you feel better. I am literally feeling for you.

I am making a point to explain that, to point out to you that the relief you seek is, and always will be found, by welcoming & embracing your sensations, as I am doing now. We can all do this for ourselves, and for each other too, as we are all in this together. Same love. Same source. Same solution to the same ‘suffering’.

After the trip, essentially, you were left with the facing of your fear of death, and confronting this over and over in thought is enough to cause anyone to lose some sleep. Cognitively speaking, you’re not entirely aware of this. If you were, you’d be ‘sleeping like a baby’ (without the thinking, without “identity”, without the idea of “death” - just love. Deep awesome baby-love) Cognitively, you’re left with imagery of reality disappearing all the way down to the lungs.

Consider the biblical reference:

“Then the Lord God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.”

This is not an analogy. This is what You, actual You, did. This is a description of how you created yourself. The breath is the life. The cognitive consideration of Being, without the breath, is “fear”. (I use quotes because there’s no such thing as fear, you just need to understand how you’re creating it)

In your inward pointed trip, you went all the way back through the thoughts & beliefs about who you are, all the way back to who you actually are. Through the appearance, to the actuality from which the appearance arose, and more truly, was created. 

This inward journey made it all the way to the lungs as image (imagined)...all the way to the breath itself, the first, and in the inward backward journey, the last. You are the first and the last, the end and the beginning. You are the breath and the life, and the life, and it is Good. 

You went about as far as one can go, while still hanging on to a an idea of you, and an idea of  “others”.

The resolve:

Honestly admit (for your benefit)  you still hold belief in the duality of self and others. 

Move this self you’re believing you are, right on up the emotional scale. At the very top, is absolute love. 

To make this effortless, picture that self and other duality as a stick, representative of your thoughts about the matter. Choosing the best feeling thoughts. These are one end of the stick. Notice when you are ‘holding the stick’, notice which end you are holding - the wanted thoughts, good feeling end - or the thoughts which do not feel good to you. In awareness of this, and in utilizing visualization of the stick analogy, you will tune yourself up the emotional scale, so much so, that this duality of self & other, of selfish & selfless, will collapse back into the only ‘thing’ it can, which is Love. Your love. 

In your ‘stick collapsing’ of this duality, your suffering and anguish dissolves. So true is this of the world as well. No problem though, cause we have each other. Ain’t nobody tryin to be a solipsist or nihilist on purpose, and Love is the Key. Orchestrate the choosing of thoughts, to culminate into the creation of the collapse of this “love duality”. 

When you notice you’re holding the unwanted end of this stick, humbly be willing to just put it down and do something you enjoy, that feels good to you. When you’re feeling really great, pick the stick up again, by the wanted end. Be mindful of the effortlessness in choosing wanted thoughts, aligned with sensation. 

[Zigzag Idiot]

  @khalifa

I've never had 5 meo or a bad trip from one. 

I would put @Nahm 's advice ahead of mine. 

[khalifa]

@Nahm

thank you nahm, should i let go and let the kundalini reactivate over and over every night? i notice it trips me (almost 5meo like) whenever i lay to the side or on my back, it can be very uncomfortable because it's too often and is tiring since it's a surge of energy, i don't even know if it's kundalini i assumed it was a ptsd/mild ptsd at first, later thought it could be hppd and now i'm stuck with it's kundalini energy? hoping it's temporary and doesn't reset if it's re-activated or re-tripped in other words. these vibrations get scary because i'm just not familiar with such a feeling every night and i can't really find any peace with it yet

i have a fear of it lasting longer than i want, the ego wants to know but it can't know much about what's going with me right now, bless you nahm, thank you for sharing the love

 

"Some Things to Consider Avoiding:1.Meditation – Various meditation techniques generally serve well to still and calm the rational thinking mind and to rarify consciousness and are definitely recommended for long term integration. However, when activated the contents of the psyche can be highly stirred up and regular meditative techniques can sometimes trigger further reactivation. If the initiate’s intent is to effectively ground themselves, it is recommended to suspend any regular meditative practices until these reactivations settle." from : https://uploads-ssl.webflow.com/5d3751abc200c54724f3dbdf/5d38dc9c0ab1ce1c6a79d322_Integration-Guidelines-CONCLAVE-28.05.18.pdf

Edited August 10, 2019 by khalifa

[SunnyNewDay]

41 minutes ago, khalifa said:

@SunnyNewDay   i notice my vibrations are always present its hard to even tell sometimes if im relaxed or not even with music on i start doubting myself but im like no i feel fine, kind of confusing did u feel anything similar to this?

Man, I've felt stuff this past month of absolute nightmare/insanity/hell/confusion and then acceptance which has made me start to wonder and realize I'm creating my anger/fear/pain and that blindly being angry and creating this stuff and that deny or following these thoughts doesn't put me in the direction I want to go which is a compassionate and loving, peaceful person. What I can say had worked for me is to not overthink it. You've made it four days without answers, control and peace from this. Just be as gentle with yourself as possible and try to experience it as much you can. Can be music in your environment, can be body sensations, can be gently following your breath. You can gently surrender and stay with your breathe and it will change. Experiences always change. 

[SunnyNewDay]

41 minutes ago, khalifa said:

@SunnyNewDay   i notice my vibrations are always present its hard to even tell sometimes if im relaxed or not even with music on i start doubting myself but im like no i feel fine, kind of confusing did u feel anything similar to this?

Man, I've felt stuff this past month of absolute nightmare/insanity/hell/confusion and then acceptance which has made me start to wonder and realize I'm creating my anger/fear/pain and that blindly being angry and creating this stuff and that deny or following these thoughts doesn't put me in the direction I want to go which is a compassionate and loving, peaceful person. What I can say had worked for me is to not overthink it. You've made it four days without answers, control and peace from this. Just be as gentle with yourself as possible and try to experience it as much you can. Can be music in your environment, can be body sensations, can be gently following your breath. You can gently surrender and stay with your breathe and it will change. Experiences always change. 

[Nahm]

28 minutes ago, khalifa said:

@Nahm

thank you nahm, should i let go and let the kundalini reactivate over and over every night? i notice it trips me (almost 5meo like) whenever i lay to the side or on my back, it can be very uncomfortable because it's too often and is tiring since it's a surge of energy, i don't even know if it's kundalini i assumed it was a ptsd/mild ptsd at first, later thought it could be hppd and now i'm stuck with it's kundalini energy? hoping it's temporary and doesn't reset if it's re-activated or re-tripped in other words. these vibrations get scary because i'm just not familiar with such a feeling every night and i can't really find any peace with it yet

i have a fear of it lasting longer than i want, the ego wants to know but it can't know much about what's going with me right now, bless you nahm, thank you for sharing the love

 

"Some Things to Consider Avoiding:1.Meditation – Various meditation techniques generally serve well to still and calm the rational thinking mind and to rarify consciousness and are definitely recommended for long term integration. However, when activated the contents of the psyche can be highly stirred up and regular meditative techniques can sometimes trigger further reactivation. If the initiate’s intent is to effectively ground themselves, it is recommended to suspend any regular meditative practices until these reactivations settle." from : https://uploads-ssl.webflow.com/5d3751abc200c54724f3dbdf/5d38dc9c0ab1ce1c6a79d322_Integration-Guidelines-CONCLAVE-28.05.18.pdf

If you’re holding the ‘doesn’t feel good to me’ end of the kundalini ‘stick’, just put it down altogether, and pick up a better feeling stick / topic / activity / thought. In short, your present thoughts about it are the resistance. Just let it go, relax, choosing anything wanted which feels good. Keep it simple. If anything, relax and think of it as healing, allow the healing. Consider doing anything in the name of love, as love = healing. Write someone a thank you letter or card. Tell someone they are appreciated. Express gratitude, in any way, shape or form - and you are much closer to Love. 

[khalifa]

@Keyhole  i managed to go get some sleep for the first time, still fatigued out of it but better than nothing

had 2 or 3 trips last night i surrendered to them, they confused me i dont feel like im learning anything from them besides feeling all sorts of weird energy to my body and mind

 

i had some pm advice to masturbate to drop the energy faster, which i did notice less vibrations but i feel more fatigued the next day, i kind of wanted a clean mindset since its so early after 5meo but i was just so desperate to lower it since i just want to sleep already, but the sleep doesnt even feel that recovering  hopefully it gets better soon

i did play a video game for like an hour or 2 last night too, which i feel like i should do more of but they do feel fatiguing

 

thanks for checking on me

 

edit: i just noticed this feeling of fatigue feels very similar to the first or 2nd day after 5meo, not sure whats eating my energy is it the mini trips or masturbation or just not sleeping enough

 

Edited August 11, 2019 by khalifa

[Aeris]

Maybe cold shower and sport. I did that a lot since kunda and keep pushing since.

[khalifa]

@Keyhole

@Salvijus

@Rinne @The Awakened Viking @mandyjw @Corpus @OBEler @Rinne @Richard Alpert @Enlightenment @NoSelfSelf

@Zigzag Idiot @Nahm

 

day 6 update

no sleep, very fatigued had tripping like feeling like 4 times

tinnitus grew louder, heart beat went rapid, felt weird sensations of energy, mostly around intestine it can go to other parts of the body when i observe overtime can go up to legs,ass forearm, the worst part is the brain since i can feel it pumping blood harder, mind was very active wide awake when this happened impossible to sleep it feels like a stimulant  (note no feeling of leaving body slight this time)

i'm starting to wonder if this is really kundalini energy or just some unknown drug turning on and off stuck at my intestine, even though i did poop as mentioned over 4-5 times by now and poop'd another one last night

the method of administration was with filtered white vinegar only (ingredients on the bottle said it had filtered water + filtered white vinegar)

any chance it's because of that that this is so on going?

or is it really all in my head a ptsd or hppd.. i'm deseperate for answers hence i pinged eveyrone, sorry guys, i just want to rest and have peace, if anyone has any idea if vinegar messes with the meo after effects of trips let me know

 

@Aeris  i dont have the energy for sport but i'll try walking more often

 

Edit: i Looking at phone i noted timing of when i felt like i started tripping

2:56am

3:31am

6:56am

10:22am

the timing isn't always accurate sometimes i would be late by a few minutes since i'm trying to let go seeing if anything is changing

 

Edited August 12, 2019 by khalifa

[Chi_]

If this is a certain issue that has to do with your life energies (as they refer to in Kriya Yoga), I would also suggest to find a Kriya Master who can guide you like @Salvijus recommended.

If not, you can always sign up for a legit Kriya Yoga programme like Inner Engineering (by Isha) where they have a really great success with curing Insomnia in a lot of people. The specific practice that you will learn in that programme is called "Shambhavi Mahamudra". 

You will have to search and see or contact the foundation and ask if there are any programmes happening nearby to your area. 

Edited August 12, 2019 by Chi_

[Nahm]

@khalifa Have you shifted your focus, as I mentioned in my last post? It seems like you’re a bit hyper focused on the same things still, kundalini, tracking times, etc. Look for releasing, expressing, giving. Sometimes the right movie at the right time can be a powerful way of sitting back, relaxing, and allowing the trigger of release ♥️. Off the top of my head, consider renting The Hurricane, Billy Elliot, What Dreams May Come.

[Leo Gura]

Sounds to me like the 5-MeO opened you up and now you're going through a classic "spiritual emergency" as Stan Grof calls it.

This is a normal part of the waking up process. Of course it can feel hairy when you're in the thick of it.

You might want to read up on Stan Grof's work on "spiritual emergencies".  Most people don't get them, but plenty do as they get deeper into this work.

I would try to frame this as a positive. Clearly you were very sensitive and that trip unlocked something in you. The process is just happening so fast that you feel overwhelmed. Try to roll with it and become curious about what is happening to you, rather than trying to stop it or trying to go back to your old life.

The resistance and worry is largely what causes the suffering.

Remember, this work involves undergoing significant change. Have faith in the process. This should help you calm down and roll with the punches.

The 5-MeO is long out of your system. This is simply you starting to wake up. The ego mind can resist the process in all sorts of creative and dysfunctional ways.

[Paulus Amadeus]

@khalifa I've also heard talk about that it's very important for a 5meo dmt trip to have it's 'natural end', and that it is possible to 'get stuck' in the midway point of a trip for a long time. 

 

When I did my second 5meo session, I took a hit of 5meo, and I kind of got stuck in this weird super energetic but super unpleasent state. When the shamans who were doing my ceremonie saw this, they insisted I should take a second hit of 5meo. They said otherwise I would 'stay in that state'. I took a second hit, got out of this weird state, had a crazy experience, and afterwards I was fine. But in between the two hits I felt really strange and uncomfortable, and I can really imagine not being able to get out of that energy/state.

 

Maybe you got 'stuck halfway' in a 5meo trip?

I think Martin Ball has also talked about people leaving before the trip had come too a natural end, and having issues with it. These people also couldn't sleep etc. 

 

So maybe the solution is to go back and do 5meo-dmt again?  I know it's probably the last thing you want to do right now, but maybe you got stuck in the midway point of the 5meo trip, and it's the only way forward. I'm not necessarely recomending this though!! It's just a thought. 

[khalifa]

@Leo Gura  checked out Stan Grof on spiritual emergencies, i noticed when he mentioned some of the phenomena on kundalini awakenings is when we copy animals, i did have that on the first 2 days, where i would do something strange like dogs do trying to sniff the leafs on trees, it was just a weird instinct

another one was when there was a song that played in the background of my head, a song i have never heard ever in real life, but it played so nicely it was a cult like song of a woman singing, she sounded lovely, at first i didn't pay attention to it didn't care was too fatigued and i was just meditating on bed

i'll try and let go and trust in the process more, since i feel some instinct towards that instead of trying to figure out what's going on with me, as that's driving me crazy with all the worry

thank you leo

@Paulus Amadeus  don't think i'll do 5meo anytime soon maybe in a few weeks if my situations does not improve i'll go seek a shaman or a retreat to do another one, clearly home 5meo isn't working out for me

 

@Chi_  no programs of that sort where i live, thanks for the suggestion, i think the insomnia will pass it just needs time to clear itself and balance it's energies around the body

 

@Nahm thank you i'll give all that a try

Edited August 12, 2019 by khalifa

[Nahm]

@khalifa There’s a separation from believing thoughts occurring. You’re fine, just keep relaxing, and do some things you enjoy. You’ll soon notice nothing is wrong, nothing was wrong to begin with, you are totally fine, and the worry is just the implication, the story if you will of the thoughts. Your awareness went through the roof, and there’s some suffering in being aware of the old thought habits. Let them go, and choose a better feeling thought. It’s just old thought habit, “lazy thinking”, being purified out of you. This is Good! Relax and allow the process. It is Good! You are fine. ♥️??

 

[khalifa]

@Nahm that is perfect i resonate with it completely on a soul level ♥️♥️♥️ thank you♥️♥️♥️

[Nahm]

@khalifa Thank you! 

Nonsense is ignore-ance - ignoring our sensations, our guidance, which is always in us, always leading us in Truth.

  (Non-sense...non-sensation)

Likewise, there are no “bad trips”....just an innocent ego saying, “not so much love, not so fast”. 

So we “integrate”.

The wisdom “embodied” is none other than the Love which creates the body mind.

(Puppet show with finger talking about not being ready to be the body. Body’s like, ya, sure, take all the time you need)