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Tistepiste

Trip report: Galindoi Truffles - 15g

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To start off: This was by far my most intense trip.

Galindoi is known as a drug with very strong visuals, hallucinations, and boy did it own up to its name.

The trip was split in three phases

 

First phase

The mild phase. This is the phase that I am used to with my previous trips.
Although "mild" might not be the best word to describe it. I'd rather call it "no discomfort", not "unpleasant". Like a good soothing feeling.

In this mild phase, I went very deep into thought. Or tried to, because my friend who I was tripping with burst into laughter now and then, which pulled me out of my deep state.

During this mild phase, I could feel very intense love, care, compassion, sympathy, tenderness.
It was a self-reflecting state where I was re evaluating my past life actions, giving me a bird eyes view over my connection with people until now, and what is holding me back from being more loving and compassionate for the people that surround me.
It taught me lessons about being more grateful, less self-centered, and less high-demanding. Seeing the good in people without linking it to conditions.
Being more unconditionally loving and grateful for the people around me and my life in general.

This phase also had some beautiful visuals on the ceiling, my hands, my friends face, plants,... 

This phase, was very gentle on me, and left me feeling very good.

Second phase

Trip to Narnia.
We went outside for this. My friends house is close to a river, with lots of flowers, plants, trees, pools,...

It was as if we were walking through a jungle. Endlessly. The road kept on coming and it was if there was no end to it.
I could feel the nature around me. It was as if there were 20x more plants and trees than usual. And everything was very bright, very light.

Everytime I blinked my eyes, my visual changed, became distorted, as if everything shifted from place to place, to different structures, like a puzzle being rearranged. The objects making up the puzzle were constant, but the puzzle pieces changed from different locations. So a cow I saw previously on the bottom left of my eye would turn up somewhere totally random with the original location replaced by a big tree, or an oasis.

It was as if I was inside a painting of Dali, or Van Gogh. Probably a combination of both.
Everything felt surreal and very intense. I had the feeling that we were never coming home, which got me a bit stressed.

But we were singing along the way, touching the grass, staring at the cows, enjoying the views.

Third phase

Now this went to a whole new level, like.. damn.
We arrived back home and this is were I got more into my mind. Borderline psychotic.

I was seeing every person that had a role in my life, that I had a connection with. Or even celebrities.
I suddenly had the intense feeling that I had lived every one of these persons lives before, and that now, it was my turn, in this role, as me.But I had seen this life from a different perspective, with me as the friend, or as the fan. In different roles. Everything was connected in one big giant loop, where its creator was laughing and just watching us go.

It was also as if everything was running parallel at the same time. That I was living everyones life simultaneously. There was no more past, or future. Everything that had happened, is happening now.
So basically I had the feeling that I had lived everyones life, but at the same time, I was living everyones life right now, and that I had constant deja vus, because I had the feeling that I had seen this all before from all perspectives while actually all the perspectives were being formed right now, simultaneously. But the combination of these different perspectives made me have deja vus all the time. If that makes any sense? I can try to clarify this part more, but it's hard to bring it into words.

I couldn't really think of time as a concept anymore, it was one big joke, for all I know I could be living in the 15th century and that would be the most logical thing ever.
Time was just a joke, everything was kind of a joke.

Then, it started to become more scary. I was stuck in a loop, literally. A loop in the physical world, a loop of like a few minutes, that kept on repeating for what seemed like an eternity.
My friend would ask me if I needed some food, I'd say sure, she'd bring me the food. Then I took one bite, and gave it back, her returning the plate.
And then the circle started over again, my friend would ask me if I needed some food, and bam. The same actions took place.

Everything was suddenly reduced to this one minute loop, with my friend running back and forth with the plate, asking the same questions, and me answering the same everytime.
It was as if the world was just me and her, and the plate of food. And nothing else existed. With the loop infinitely repeating.

Then suddenly my thoughts became more dark.
I had the sudden paranoid feeling that my friend would hurt herself, or me myself.
Then I was trying to rationalize why people murder each other, what goes on in their mind to be murdering people.
Consequently I was thinking, why do we label murder as bad? and solving the murder as good? Why cant it be the other way around?
Or does it make total sense? One person murders another, and one person solves the murder. Everything was just a circle going around, one person performing an action which caused to other person to earn their living. It was suddenly the most logical thing ever, and productive, like a full circle completed. 
That was a very weird strain of thought. I could suddenly rationalize this behaviour.

Although I never had to urge to harm myself, or my friend, I was just thinking about why people do things they do, and how it makes the world work.
I was scared however, about my friend, and everytime i lost her out of sight, I yelled at her to make sure she wasn't doing anything stupid.

I was also constantly trying to ground myself, repeating my name, my age, which century I was in. But after a while I couldnt even answer those questions myself.
I suddenly forgot who I was, how old I was and which century I was living in. It didn't matter anyways, because everything was connected and everything was running parallel to each other, so it didnt even make sense tho ask these questions, cause there was no answer.
I was not an age, and was not living in a century because I was every age and every century. Like there was no distinction between centuries and ages, as if those concepts didnt exist or matter anyway.

Then I got the scary feeling that I would not get out of this trip, that I would get stuck in it mentally and suddenly I saw myself in a mental hospital never returned to normal, seeing things that werent there and making connections that didnt makes sense.
Then I was calling another friend on the phone and everything seemed to be put on fast forward, I made constant connections to everything and it was as if the story was changing every second. Going deeper into the depth of it.
And it was as if my friend was playing along with it, there was no real sense in the conversation we were having, because every second the conversation would start over about something else. As if there was no start or ending just endless chatting  about nonesense with no meaning but just for the sake of talking in general.
But my friend didnt know I was tripping so for him the conversation went as normal, but for me it was as if we were not really having a conversation at all. Just two people talking in an endless time loop.

 

Ill read this again tomorrow and add more stuff, but thats about it now.

@Nahm, Would love to hear your insights on this?

Cheers all!

Edited by Tistepiste

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@Tistepiste Wow, what a trip! 

Disclaimer, I’ve never even heard of Galindoi. Sounds interesting. Broad stroke wise, you can’t get much more on the cusp of the full nondual breakthrough. You danced with a lot of absolute ‘facets’ there...beauty, creation, love, compassion, meaninglessness & relativity, madness / losing the mind,  illusion / real, eternity, infinity, The Light, The Magic, and some awesome visuals. To me it seems there are two overall themes...finite mind and infinite mind, and identity in terms of self and other. Not sure how useful it will be, but here’s my two cents...

Please limit my comments to just the opinion of some douche on a forum, who doesn’t know anything. Trust your sensations and intuition rather than potentially pedastooling me. If there’s any conflicting feelings with what I say, trust yourself always. 

In a big way imo, the report goes full circle back to the beginning, being less self centered (influenced the whole trip)...being grateful...”seeing the good in people without linking it to conditions” that is something most people will never access (apparently) and is arguably the most blissful & cherished life possible.

 

19 hours ago, Tistepiste said:

In this mild phase, I went very deep into thought. Or tried to...

It can be very fruitful to contemplate a specific inquiry, to set the intention & expectation, but trying to deep think in general in a trip is like taking a counter measure which works as resistance against the Truth / psychedelic.  Just a thought for the future trips. People see this differently and I think this is the minority view, btw.

During this mild phase, I could feel very intense love, care, compassion, sympathy, tenderness.

This is The Being / Your Being / You...likely experienced due to having a rather honest mind & heart. It’s likely you’ve worked somethings out that some people encounter with great difficulty on a trip (the hard way).


It was a self-reflecting state where I was re evaluating my past life actions, giving me a bird eyes view over my connection with people until now, and what is holding me back from being more loving and compassionate for the people that surround me. It taught me lessons about being more grateful, less self-centered, and less high-demanding. Seeing the good in people without linking it to conditions. Being more unconditionally loving and grateful for the people around me and my life in general.This phase also had some beautiful visuals on the ceiling, my hands, my friends face, plants,... This phase, was very gentle on me, and left me feeling very good.

A “life review” similar to classic accounts of near death experiences...Being / Awareness view, seeing what was seen via thought & sensation before, now from the ‘meta you’ view of Being. That is a gift, one of the greatest experiences possible. I am really happy for you that you got to experience that! ....And yet you get to continue living! What a miracle!

It” is you...those seem like lessons, and they are in a sense, but you are the teacher and the student so to speak, and via the clearing of falsity in thought and the relative inherent parallel of misunderstanding the sensations that comes with that falsity, you always have that guidance, 24/7. You can not be alive without it. So, I would not be surprised if some emotional barfing occurs today, and possibly for days, or weeks. A way to express this is once the mind has experienced the bigger picture via Being, a purge is triggered. If this is accurate, be very careful to stay with sensations allowing the purification. It needs nothing from you, but to relax, and be willing to cry, barf, whatever...but do your best not to get sucked into thought stories or it will prevent / delay the purification. It’s pretty counterintuitive but only due to the median emotional intelligence of this era. If shit really hits the fan HMU, I’m happy to help in any way I can. 

 

Narnia.

Lol! Love it!

We went outside for this. My friends house is close to a river, with lots of flowers, plants, trees, pools,...

It was as if we were walking through a jungle. Endlessly. The road kept on coming and it was if there was no end to it. I could feel the nature around me. It was as if there were 20x more plants and trees than usual. And everything was very bright, very light.

Infinity is the actuality, the mind try’s to overlay time. There’s literally nothing to do, and you have forever to do it. In the lens of life, of course, there is a push and pull we experience. But you have experience that truth, so let it bring you peace in life’s difficult times. Again, seems counterintuitive, but there is a common knee jerk response to avoid situations of tension or difficulty - but the thing to do is zoom into it, be here now...the peace and love is always here now. Try to notice the thought story as it fires up to suck you in which results in the avoidance of things - and definitely be patient about it, don’t beat yourself up. That is only possible to experience by believing in the past and or future, which clearly you are not actually in. 

Everytime I blinked my eyes, my visual changed, became distorted, as if everything shifted from place to place, to different structures, like a puzzle being rearranged. The objects making up the puzzle were constant, but the puzzle pieces changed from different locations. So a cow I saw previously on the bottom left of my eye would turn up somewhere totally random with the original location replaced by a big tree, or an oasis.

No biggie but that sounds like the mind resisting the truth a tiny bit...breaking down the infinite actuality into pieces (puzzle pieces in this case). It’s like if you were in a car of falsity going a hundred miles an hour, it would not be ideal to come to an immediate stop of that momentum to Truth. You’d fly through the windshield, it’s make a mess of things, etc. A trip I had a while back...reality literally became one big pop up book. It was delightful, shocking, and hilarious. So of course there’s projection here, but it sound similar. Indeed everything is really one “thing”. It’s a big change to handle. No rush.

It was as if I was inside a painting of Dali, or Van Gogh. Probably a combination of both.
Everything felt surreal and very intense. I had the feeling that we were never coming home, which got me a bit stressed.

Creation = Creator = Creating revealed. “Your mind” in a bit of resistance to full on truth uses imagery to make sense of things. Once again, happy for ya, and that is awesome. Such an experience is a once in infinity experience. I’d love to experience the reality that is Dali & Van Gogh! Trippy & quiet I bet.lol.   The stress...kinda deep but...it’s in holding onto the finite mind...identity...”home”. You are your home bro. You’re always home. 

But we were singing along the way, touching the grass, staring at the cows, enjoying the views.

As you should be. :)

 

 

Now this went to a whole new level, like.. damn.
We arrived back home and this is were I got more into my mind. Borderline psychotic.

This should be a huge tip as to the nature of the uselessness in overthinking. It is a psychotic epidemic imo. Keep in mind all these insights you experienced will be settling for quite some time. Meditation is always The Way, should you feel lost. It’s always letting go, letting go is an art, a lifelong art one can never absolutely master, so maybe start equating “Letting Go” with feeling wonderful. Relax from crown to toes, as many times as you can everyday. The quality of thoughts changes from doing this over time. (That and letting every thought go, seeing a higher quality one arises behind it) It’s amazing. It leads to channeling, and then nondual “sober” awareness ime. 

I was seeing every person that had a role in my life, that I had a connection with. Or even celebrities.
I suddenly had the intense feeling that I had lived every one of these persons lives before, and that now, it was my turn, in this role, as me.But I had seen this life from a different perspective, with me as the friend, or as the fan. In different roles. Everything was connected in one big giant loop, where its creator was laughing and just watching us go.

The “loop” is of the finite mind and is a solid seeming foundational concept. It involves self, and a “self” in the movement of thought. There are some very deep and very sticky thought patterns we live fully unaware of. If you are interested in uncovering that, I suggest going to @Faceless profile and spending a day reading everything he wrote from the start. Maybe twice. It’s very tricky (at least I found it initially so) but soooo worthwhile. Once “it” clicks, it’s there for the long haul. Spira also covers this a lot, but from a slightly more intimate tone. I was a stubborn ass and never heard it from Rupert, but I got it from faceless’s style / delivery. I think you’ll be very glad if you put the time in on that one.         

Also, there is some struggling with the fact that the Laugher is actual you present in this. The rest of this revelation hinges on attachment & identity, and goes full circle to the ‘puzzle pieces’’ of reality, but rather with identities / individual people. No rush on that man. Be young, enjoy life, have fun while taking care of things. The rest of that will come precisely when it should. I’d consider vulnerability & honesty in all your relationships, as a means of ‘opening that up’ more. And on a down the road note, there is a ‘how’ with regards to what appears to be ‘looping’, a how that is, so to speak, not quite infinity, but prior to metaphysical seeing. Rare, apparently. 
 

 

It was also as if everything was running parallel at the same time. That I was living everyones life simultaneously. There was no more past, or future. Everything that had happened, is happening now.
So basically I had the feeling that I had lived everyones life, but at the same time, I was living everyones life right now, and that I had constant deja vus, because I had the feeling that I had seen this all before from all perspectives while actually all the perspectives were being formed right now, simultaneously. But the combination of these different perspectives made me have deja vus all the time. If that makes any sense? I can try to clarify this part more, but it's hard to bring it into words.

Yep, that’s a doozy. Again, the ‘full monty’ on that happens when it happens. I don’t let my seven year old drive my truck, and God doesn’t put you in charge of beating your heart. There just is paradoxically (seeming) a time for everything. When that stuff makes sense, in hindsight, the timing will make sense too. 

I couldn't really think of time as a concept anymore, it was one big joke, for all I know I could be living in the 15th century and that would be the most logical thing ever.
Time was just a joke, everything was kind of a joke.

Yep. Radical implications. A lot to handle at once. Just a suggestion, but, spend time (ironically) googling / researching time. How it stared, the Gregorian calendar, what was used before that, etc. Knowledge acquired tends to be dissolved in trips, “realization”. Also, see if you can start noticing how we’re all basically forced to use language together...not everyone who says words like “I”, “me”, “you”, etc is experiencing them the same. From language alone, that is very easily missed. It’s on each of us to sort that out for ourselves. Once it clicks, it also sticks. 

Then, it started to become more scary. I was stuck in a loop, literally. A loop in the physical world, a loop of like a few minutes, that kept on repeating for what seemed like an eternity.
My friend would ask me if I needed some food, I'd say sure, she'd bring me the food. Then I took one bite, and gave it back, her returning the plate.
And then the circle started over again, my friend would ask me if I needed some food, and bam. The same actions took place.

Everything was suddenly reduced to this one minute loop, with my friend running back and forth with the plate, asking the same questions, and me answering the same everytime.
It was as if the world was just me and her, and the plate of food. And nothing else existed. With the loop infinitely repeating.

The “click” from Faceless’s posts will really help with that. Due to identity attachment (nothing “wrong” with that) the mind is resisting the release of time and “self”. Again, all is well and precisely how it ‘should’ be. It’s a hack comment but I think it fits...God is loving you 24/7 and doing God’s best. Relax into even just the thought of that. When the release occurs, and the realization of only-ever-now pops, the loops are gone, it’s delightful and also sticks. Often this is pointed to in saying ‘you never actually move’. 

Then suddenly my thoughts became more dark.

Try to start looking at identity as a necessary means for life / experience. There is often a darkness cast upon “ego” that is unjustifiable and misplaced. Notice the progressing theme of your trip / trip report. Notice when you mention stress, tension, or darkness...there is what seems to be a threat to individuality / identity. That’s major stuff, and awareness alone is “curative”. Embrace it, love it, don’t want to rush it. 


I had the sudden paranoid feeling that my friend would hurt herself, or me myself.

Paranoia is common at this point of finite mind - - - infinite Mind. It’ll pass. To ‘work it out’, I’d look to your childhood, upbringing, most likely age twelve to around eighteen. Perhaps there were men of typical prior generation mindedness which influenced you. Imagine how male dominant the mindset of their fathers was, and more so the generation prior to them, and even more so prior to them, etc. Keep discovering your ‘feminine side’, even in the face (possibly) of a cultural environment which belittles it. 


Then I was trying to rationalize why people murder each other, what goes on in their mind to be murdering people.
Consequently I was thinking, why do we label murder as bad? and solving the murder as good? Why cant it be the other way around?

Because people by and large are not aware of awareness. “I” is most typically used in reference to a self amoung all one’s thought stories rather than the actuality. Contemplate the inherent nature of that. It points to a realization which encompasses all of time, all of mankind. Pragmatically, murder is senseless...non-sense. Consider a question about how a psychopath murders without feeling anything, and reconsider how a psychopath murders because they don’t feel anything. 


Or does it make total sense? One person murders another, and one person solves the murder. Everything was just a circle going around, one person performing an action which caused to other person to earn their living. It was suddenly the most logical thing ever, and productive, like a full circle completed. 
That was a very weird strain of thought. I could suddenly rationalize this

I don’t know if that can be ‘made sense of’ in communication on a forum, but you’re right, ultimately it doesn’t matter, while of course at the same time if you are about to get murdered, it matters! In the end, this is a Love story, but again, that’s a doozy of an insight and imo requires little to no identity attachment and or a hell of a lot of love in your life & heart. (Same thing really)


Although I never had to urge to harm myself, or my friend, I was just thinking about why people do things they do, and how it makes the world work.
I was scared however, about my friend, and everytime i lost her out of sight, I yelled at her to make sure she wasn't doing anything stupid.

That touches on a really nuanced realization and I hope this is helpful down the path... to trip together, or to trip alone? I have a buddy who’s the perfect trip companion. Many realization together. Once, we took a nature trip on 4g’s of shroom tea, and dude, we were tripping f’ing BALLS, realizations left and right, nonstop laughter and revelry. About 4 or so hours in, he did a walkabout of sorts, and the minute he was out of my senses (seeing him, hearing him, etc) an infinity breakthrough exploded in me. Could be projection & bias, but just something to pass on from my experiences. After that, I started solo retreating / solo tripping...and made major path headway. Then, of course there’s always a paradoxical  ‘and then’...the trips together were another level of explosive realization. Simply put, If LOVE is what’s arising...it’s highly likely the mind will quickly resort to concern / compassion / love for another, rather than dying. It’s a lot like when we get flat out pissed - and we rope someone else into it - only to later realize they had nothing to do with it at all.

I was also constantly trying to ground myself, repeating my name, my age, which century I was in. But after a while I couldnt even answer those questions myself.
I suddenly forgot who I was, how old I was and which century I was living in. It didn't matter anyways, because everything was connected and everything was running parallel to each other, so it didnt even make sense tho ask these questions, cause there was no answer.
I was not an age, and was not living in a century because I was every age and every century. Like there was no distinction between centuries and ages, as if those concepts didnt exist or matter anyway.

Yes, all man created meanings / concepts...very nice!  Sounds like the realizations were accumulating, culminating...to the reveal of infinity...and there’s no identity in infinity. There’s no any thing. So don’t beat up on yourself, you blew the doors off the place with the realizations you had on this trip. Feel outstanding about it! Brave af!     Should be some “highs and lows” of integration coming. Be patient with yourself. Be loving with yourself. Again, watch those thought stories. Rather, don’t :watch” them, put attention to stomach breathing instead. 

Then I got the scary feeling that I would not get out of this trip, that I would get stuck in it mentally and suddenly I saw myself in a mental hospital never returned to normal, seeing things that werent there and making connections that didnt makes sense.

Madness, or rather the fear of, is a natural spiritual ‘right of passage’ of sorts, in going backwards into ‘Source’. Sucks, but it’s necessary. Rather than ‘grounding’ via identity...relax the body head to toe, attention on breathing from the stomach. The building of that practice until it is second nature is perhaps the greatest asset in deep trips. Ideally, in sober life, you get to a point where you are breathing from your stomach unconsciously. This will dramatically reduce the discomforts, both mentally and physically, of ego deaths in trips. You can actually get to a point where it’s interesting rather than disorientating or triggering of fear. That is a very worthwhile place to get to, with respect to living. Not much in life can scare you when you’re ok with dying. The breath is the last frontier of the living so to speak, the last illusion if you will. Don’t ‘ground’ in the breathe, just find a home for attention / focus there. They pair perfectly, and again, that really shines in trips and life. 


Then I was calling another friend on the phone and everything seemed to be put on fast forward, I made constant connections to everything and it was as if the story was changing every second. Going deeper into the depth of it.

That ‘constant connections to everything’ is available in your day to day, with practice. This is why I suggest not “grounding”, but rather, discovering the infinite art of letting go. 


And it was as if my friend was playing along with it, there was no real sense in the conversation we were having, because every second the conversation would start over about something else. As if there was no start or ending just endless chatting  about nonesense with no meaning but just for the sake of talking in general.
But my friend didnt know I was tripping so for him the conversation went as normal, but for me it was as if we were not really having a conversation at all. Just two people talking in an endless time loop.

Ya. We’re all playing along, and being played along with. It is Good. Try to see you and all you are aware of, as One Consciousness. Make a dream board, get deep on what you really want in life. Visualize the feeling of ease in things coming your way. Keep your eyes wide for wanted things to come in mysterious ways that are beyond what you would think or expect. Notice you cannot find edges of feelings, and consider they are not ‘your’ feelings, as in possessions of a person, but rather, the universe at play. Make a practice of culminating the sensations of love within your body until you can really really feel it. To the point of overwhelming your capacity for love, tears flowing. Then, do that, and mindfully give all that love to your surroundings. Do this, and I guarantee you it will blow your mind. I’d suggest to start “giving it” to nature, and then people, and then ‘things’. Then, the next trip you take..psshh...forget about it. Crazy Love of The One. (You)

Also want to mention, in terms of ‘how much you get’ from trips, diet and fitness are of critical foundational importance. Diet is one of the trickiest aspects of maya’s game as it is ultimately belief driven, but due to food being the ‘connector’ of self (actual reality)-body-“reality”, it is a difficult breakthrough and can be behind a lot that goes on in trips. For all I know, you’re in perfect shape with an uber clean diet, just thought it was worth mention as you’re going pretty damn deep into psychedelic town and my hope for you is to get all the juice out of your trips. I aim for highest nutritional content, lowest calories.

Also consider there is a progression at play with regards to identity....negative self thinking....positive self talk / thinking....no thinking of self....no mind. And that everything that appears “negative”, stands to reveal your Love. 

And the cow becoming the tree...that’s a direct exposure to the Magic imo. Reality IS NOT consistent. That, is how infinitely intelligent infinite intelligence is!


MEDITATIONS TOOLS  ActualityOfBeing.com  GUIDANCE SESSIONS

NONDUALITY LOA  My Youtube Channel  THE TRUE NATURE

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@Nahm Wow Nahm. I can't believe how much time and effort you put into this to help me understand what I experienced. I couldn't thank you enough. It will take a while for me to read everything carefully and fully grasp the depth of your insights in a way that respects every effort it took! But as of right now I would like to express my honest appreciation and gratefulness to your input and you!

I never expected such thoroughful input. Really. Love you so much!

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