zeroISinfinity

Ground Zero Journal

151 posts in this topic

Everything is highly deceptive.

I could Just sense this is my last life. 

Only devil can be conscious not God. 

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Never faced such strong doubt and dilemma. 

Honouring complete Truth or falling into illusions Just out of compassion. 

They are all selfish no fun in helping deluded Ones. I do understand that misery. Holding onto Reality, trying to maximize survival and sense pleasures.

That's why they seek enlightenment and Divine states of Consciousness Just to raise above "others". 

That's the main reason why God's grace is not given. Because their seeking comes from wrong place. 

 

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Knowing that my True Self is pure Love doesn't help at all. 

It is cool to be it irl but mind has such hard time accepting it. 

Toxic society Toxic people all devoid from True and only meaning in life. 

Conditional love, sharing, everything Conditional. How to accept and be ok with this shit. Full on egotism everywhere. 

God can't share and show love unless it fragments itself. 

Even as devil I feel total and complete. 

What really worries me is possible making of devilish dettached mask so I can't be Hurt ever again. 

Should respect myself and protect myself better. Society is world of lies need to learn to play by that rule book. 

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Self discovery.

It was so bloody difficult. Demanding in every possible way. 

AM I saved because I finally learned lesson that I am love. God knows,maybe that is liberation. 

For me it is easier to surrender and accept God's will. To let go of everything but Leo mentioned responsibility. 

That is what  really troubles me. 

I saw and I know everything is perfect. 

I should trust it because I can't enter Absolute state of Consciousness at Will and any time. 

Who wants to face death Everytime and become that terrifying infinite Love. You can't handle it for so long you always come back/for unknown reason. Honestly would stay as such forever. 

No wonder for such strong craving for it, Hard to let go. 

 

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Posted (edited)

Letting it all go. 

When  wake up tommorow go for 4 hour hours str8. 

Let go of human dream finally. Actually from all of them. You know you do not need anything. 

You are everything you need. 

Edited by zeroISinfinity

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Posted (edited)

It's all BS and you know it. 

Edited by zeroISinfinity

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Went to the store after midnight. There was no people seen while I was driving bike. No cars eatiher. Complete peace and silence was amazing. 

Could add that in schedule. 

Bought beer Just out for fun. No "others" finally. 

They all can pressure me as much as they can I do want to be monk. 

Probably made mistake earlier in my life for not becoming orthodox Christian monk and made promise for silence. 

I did wanted that but try to explain parents and whole family. 

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If I tell them full Truth of existance they will eat Dog shit found on street and cry Just for having chance to eat it. 😂

 

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First glimpses of Reiki stuff. It works. Somehow. 

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Time for reiki. 

Friend sent me her picture. Damn she got addicted to drugs again. I do love her but... Dunno trust the universe. 

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Share and Love. Drop that BS pride

 

 

Ok Cried during it. Wow having such huge resistance when ut comes to receiving. My Dog come to me during it wanting to cudle. Ha ha ❤️

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Would play this shit again Just for pure mindfuck of it. 

Everything is Truth and Love.

Ok lets learn to love our awesome devil. 

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Time to go to work. Yeah self love gets you out of crisis. 

Droping all strict zen practises. Don't need them anymore. Awakened. 

This reiki stuff is powerful, it's self healing. 

Loving and romantic style. Love it accept your feminine side Alex. 

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Posted (edited)

Thank you Reality for showing me way in Magic. Wierd but I love it. 

Edited by zeroISinfinity

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When I Will die so this charade can be over with. 

Very much I completely surrendered, Brings me so much peace and Joy. 

Self reliant completely. 

Why they say life matter when it clearly doesn't? 

 

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Posted (edited)

Currently sitting at cafe with brother and friend completely devoid from what is presented focusing on breath haha. 

No more dance. 

Waiting to come home and meditate seriously. 

30-40-50 years left of pretending to be something I am not. 

Edited by zeroISinfinity

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Yeah really, no more lies. 

Ok be completely honest with yourself. 

You do not want anything and that's the problem. Life feels like waiting for death. It really does.

Any pressure causes suffering. 

Love and take care of yourself only. 

Do not help or invoke helping "others". Earlier it never turned good. 

Remove gambling parasite from your house. Stop being Compassionate for devils. They are selfish mofo they do not care one bit about you. 

Try to be alone as much as possible and enjoy your own Being. 

Remember you are everything you need. 

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Time to go to work. Pepsi, hoorey lets poison people with sugar. 

Done 2nd meditation from 1 st level. 

Need to wait 1st in month so this parasitw gets his paycheck and be done with him. I do not need to respect family bonds. Will use physical force if needed. 

Stop being good, you always get morons in your life. 

Clear them out, enjoy your vacation. 

That Will allow you more time for reaching your ultimate goal. 

 

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Posted (edited)

Spent time at work strategizing complete monastic life style. 

Without shadow of a doubt it is Best life you can live as human. 

Requires some preparation. 

God proper that's my destiny. 

Buddha was right. 

Edited by zeroISinfinity

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