Raphael

Going through the spiral

859 posts in this topic

The Major Attributes Of Leadership (from Think And Grow Rich!)

  • UNWAVERING COURAGE based upon knowledge of self, and of one's occupation.
    I can be courageous, but I think I also have a lot of fears. I need to put more my feet in the fire of reality and take radical actions. I also lack self-knowledge and self-esteem.

  • SELF-CONTROL. The man who cannot control himself can never control others. Self-control sets a mighty example for one's followers, which the more intelligent will emulate.
    I procrastinate a lot and I have difficulties controlling negative thoughts. I also usually have much more difficulties to control myself when I'm around low stage orange people or below. If I will have to cooperate with people in the future, I will look for at least high stage orange people.

  • A KEEN SENSE OF JUSTICE. Without a sense of fairness and justice, no leader can command and retain the respect of his followers.
    I'm pretty good here, I always try to be the most honest, fair and neutral possible. I detach myself from my relatives when making decisions so that I don't prioritize their point of view over unknown people. I try as much as possible to not put myself above others because anyone can have good ideas.

  • DEFINITENESS OF DECISION. The man who wavers in his decisions shows that he is not sure of himself. He cannot lead others successfully.
    To be improved, but this is better than 1-2 years ago. I currently know better the direction in which I'm going for the next five years, but I still have uncertainties about the implementation and the actions to take.

  • DEFINITENESS OF PLANS. The successful leader must plan his work, and work his plan. A leader who moves by guesswork, without practical, definite plans, is comparable to a ship without a rudder. Sooner or later he will land on the rocks.
    To be improved. I'm messy and I have trouble being consistent and organized and I also procrastinate a lot.

  • THE HABIT OF DOING MORE THAN PAID FOR. One of the penalties of leadership is the necessity of willingness, upon the part of the leader, to do more than he requires of his followers.
    I'm already doing this.

  • A PLEASING PERSONALITY. No slovenly, careless person can become a successful leader. Leadership calls for respect. Followers will not respect a leader who does not grade high on all of the factors of a Pleasing Personality.
    I progressed in the last years. I used to be very negative and toxic before. However, I still have work to do here. I need to be more enthusiastic and fun.

  • SYMPATHY AND UNDERSTANDING. The successful leader must be in sympathy with his followers. Moreover, he must understand them and their problems.
    I progressed last year, but I still need to do a lot of work here. Usually, I don't care at all about other issues (probably because of a stage red/orange ego) but if I work in a team and some people have an issue it will impact the team, so I need to understand people in order to help them and get results. For that, I need to develop green/yellow compassion and understanding.

  • MASTERY OF DETAIL. Successful leadership calls for mastery of details of the leader's position.
    I need to improve my social and leadership skills. I'm pretty good concerning the technical details

  • WILLINGNESS TO ASSUME FULL RESPONSIBILITY. The successful leader must be willing to assume responsibility for the mistakes and the shortcomings of his followers. If he tries to shift this responsibility, he will not remain the leader. If one of his followers makes a mistake and shows himself incompetent, the leader must consider that it is he who failed.
    To be improved. I think I don't take enough responsibility and because of this, I don't get results.

  • COOPERATION. The successful leader must understand, and apply the principle of cooperative effort and be able to induce his followers to do the same. Leadership calls for POWER, and power calls for COOPERATION.
    To be improved. I have difficulties trusting people because of many bad social experiences I had in the past, I also assume that most of them are incompetents who only want money and nothing else. Because of all that I used to be a lone wolf almost my entire life and developed social anxiety that I still have.

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The 10 Major Causes Of Failure In Leadership (from Think And Grow Rich!)

  • INABILITY TO ORGANIZE DETAILS. Efficient leadership calls for the ability to organize and to master details. No genuine leader is ever "too busy" to do anything which may be required of him in his capacity as a leader. When a man admits that he is "too busy" to change his plans or to give attention to any emergency, he admits his inefficiency. The successful leader must be the master of all details connected with his position. He must acquire the habit of relegating details to capable lieutenants
    I'm good here because I'm very analytical by nature, but at the same time, I'm also too messy and distracted.
     
  • UNWILLINGNESS TO RENDER HUMBLE SERVICE. Truly great leaders are willing, when occasion demands, to perform any sort of labor which they would ask another to perform. "The greatest among ye shall be the servant of all" is a truth that all able leaders observe and respect.
    I'm bad here. I'm too selfish and care too much about myself, most of the time I consider that doing humble service for others is not my business. There's also a balance for that because if I care too much about others it will slow down my progress.
     
  • EXPECTATION OF PAY FOR WHAT THEY "KNOW" INSTEAD OF WHAT THEY DO WITH THAT WHICH THEY KNOW
    I'm good here.
     
  • FEAR OF COMPETITION FROM FOLLOWERS. The leader who fears that one of his followers may take his position is practically sure to realize that fear sooner or later. The able leader trains understudies to whom he may delegate, at will, any of the details of his position. Only in this way may a leader multiply himself and prepare himself to be at many places, and give attention to many things at one time. It is an eternal truth that men receive more pay for their ABILITY TO GET OTHERS TO PERFORM than they could possibly earn by their own efforts. An efficient leader may, through his knowledge of his job and the magnetism of his personality, greatly increase the efficiency of others, and induce them to render more service and better service than they could render without his aid.
    I'm good here, I don't fear competition from others.
     
  • LACK OF IMAGINATION
    I'm good here, I'm very imaginative and original.
     
  • SELFISHNESS. The leader who claims all the honor for the work of his followers is sure to be met by resentment. The really great leader CLAIMS NONE OF THE HONORS. He is contented to see the honors, when there are any, go to his followers, because he knows that most men will work harder for commendation and recognition than they will for money alone.
    I don't care about getting honors, but I'm also too selfish and don't recognize other's qualities.
     
  • INTEMPERANCE. Followers do not respect an intemperate leader. Moreover, intemperance in any of its various forms destroys the endurance and the vitality of all who indulge in it.
    I'm good here, but I have to be careful to not put too much pressure on myself because it can stress me out.
     
  • DISLOYALTY. The leader who is not loyal to his trust, and to his associates, those above and below him, cannot long maintain his leadership. Disloyalty marks one as being less than the dust of the earth and brings down on one's head the contempt he deserves. Lack of loyalty is one of the major causes of failure in every walk of life.
    I'm loyal to other people, but I may be lack loyalty with myself.
     
  • EMPHASIS OF THE "AUTHORITY" OF LEADERSHIP. The efficient leader leads by encouraging, and not by trying to instill fear in the hearts of his followers. The leader who tries to impress his followers with his "authority" comes within the category of leadership through FORCE. If a leader is a REAL LEADER, he will have no need to advertise that fact except by his conduct — his sympathy, understanding, fairness, and a demonstration that he knows his job.
    I'm good here. I don't feel that I need to emphasize as being a superior authority, but authority is still necessary because otherwise people start to let them go and it hurts the team. Again, finding the proper balance is critical here because if there's no authority people take advantage and if there's too much authority people get annoyed and quit the team.
     
  • EMPHASIS OF TITLE. The competent leader requires no "title" to give him the respect of his followers. The man who makes too much over his title generally has little else to emphasize. The doors to the office of the real leader are open to all who wish to enter, and his working quarters are free from formality or ostentation.
    I'm good here, I never emphasis on my title.
Edited by Raphael

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The Thiry Major Causes Of Failure (from Think And Grow Rich!)

  • UNFAVORABLE HEREDITARY BACKGROUND
    No
     
  • LACK OF A WELL-DEFINED PURPOSE IN LIFE
    I have a vision for the next five years, but not for the long term. Some elements are still blurry
     
  • LACK OF AMBITION TO AIM ABOVE MEDIOCRITY. No hope for the person who is so indifferent as not to want to get ahead in life and who is not willing to pay the price.
    No, but I'm too lazy
     
  • INSUFFICIENT EDUCATION. The best-educated people are often those who are known as "self-made", or self-educated. Education consist of knowledge effectively and persistently APPLIED. Men are paid for WHAT THEY DO WITH THAT WHICH THEY KNOW
    No, and I'm mostly a self-taught person.
     
  • LACK OF SELF-DISCIPLINE. Discipline comes through self-control. This means that one must control all negative qualities. Before you can control conditions, you must first control yourself.
    Yes
     
  • ILL HEALTH. The main reasons are:
    • Overeating of foods not conducive to health.
      No

    • Wrong habits of thought; giving expression to negatives.
      Yes

    • Wrong use of, and overindulgence in sex.
      Yes, I watch too much porn

    • Lack of proper physical exercise.
      No

    • An inadequate supply of fresh air, due to improper breathing.
      Maybe

  • UNFAVORABLE ENVIRONMENTAL INFLUENCES DURING CHILDHOOD
    Yes, most of my family is toxic

  • PROCRASTINATION. Most of us go through life as failures, because we are waiting for the "time to be right" to start doing something worthwhile. Do not wait. The time will never be "just right". Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.
    Yes

  • LACK OF PERSISTENCE
    Yes

  • NEGATIVE PERSONALITY. There is no hope of success for the person who repels people through a negative personality. Success comes through the application of POWER, and power is attained through the cooperative efforts of other people. A negative personality will not induce cooperation.
    In progress.  I have been transitioning in the last five years from a negative personality to a positive one. But I still have work to do here

  • LACK OF CONTROLLED SEXUAL URGE. Sex energy is the most powerful of all the stimuli which move people into ACTION. Because it is the most powerful of the emotions, it must be controlled, through transmutation and converted into other channels.
    Yes, and I need to learn to transmute sex energy

  • UNCONTROLLED DESIRE FOR "SOMETHING FOR NOTHING
    Yes

  • LACK OF A WELL DEFINED POWER OF DECISION. Men who succeed reach decisions promptly, and change them, if at all, very slowly. Men who fail, reach decisions, if at all, very slowly, and change them frequently, and quickly.
    Yes

  • ONE OR MORE OF THE SIX BASIC FEARS
    Yes: fear of poverty, criticism, old age, and death

  • WRONG SELECTION OF A MATE MARRIAGE
    No

  • OVER-CAUTION. The person who takes no chances generally has to take whatever is left when others are through choosing. Over-caution is as bad as under-caution. Both are extremes to be guarded against.
    No, but I need more balance here

  • WRONG SELECTION OF ASSOCIATES IN BUSINESS
    No

  • SUPERSTITION AND PREJUDICE. Superstition is a form of fear. It is also a sign of ignorance. Men who succeed keep open minds and are afraid of nothing.
    No

  • WRONG SELECTION OF A VOCATION. No man can succeed in a line of endeavor which he does not like.
    No

  • LACK OF CONCENTRATION OF EFFORT. The "jack-of-all-trades" seldom is good at any. Concentrate all of your efforts on one DEFINITE CHIEF AIM
    Yes, my thoughts go in a thousand directions

  • THE HABIT OF INDISCRIMINATE SPENDING. The spend-thrift cannot succeed, mainly because he stands eternally in FEAR OF POVERTY. Form the habit of systematic saving by putting aside a definite percentage of your income. Money in the bank gives one a very safe foundation of COURAGE when bargaining for the sale of personal services
    No

  • LACK OF ENTHUSIASM. Without enthusiasm, one cannot be convincing. Moreover, enthusiasm is contagious, and the person who has it under control is generally welcome in any group of people
    Yes

  • INTOLERANCE. The person with a "closed" mind on any subject seldom gets ahead. Intolerance means that one has stopped acquiring knowledge. The most damaging forms of intolerance are those connected with religious, racial, and political differences of opinion
    No, but I have trouble tolerating incompetence

  • INTEMPERANCE. The most damaging forms of intemperance are connected with eating, strong drink, and sexual activities
    Yes with the internet

  • INABILITY TO COOPERATE WITH OTHERS
    Yes, because I feel like most people are incompetents

  • POSSESSION OF POWER THAT WAS NOT ACQUIRED THROUGH SELF EFFORT. QUICK RICHES are more dangerous than poverty
    No

  • INTENTIONAL DISHONESTY. One may be temporarily dishonest by force of circumstances over which one has no control, without permanent damage. But, there is NO HOPE for the person who is dishonest by choice. Sooner or later, his deeds will catch up with him, and he will pay by loss of reputation, and perhaps even loss of liberty
    No

  • EGOTISM AND VANITY
    Yes, but I'm making progress

  • GUESSING INSTEAD OF THINKING
    I guess that I guess too much

  • LACK OF CAPITAL
    Yes

Edited by Raphael

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Symptoms Of Lack Of Persistence (from Think And Grow Rich!)

  • Failure to recognize and to clearly define exactly what one wants.
    I'm currently in the middle zone, I know some things and I don't know some things.
     
  • Procrastination, with or without cause. (Usually backed up with a formidable array of alibis and excuses).
    Yes.
     
  • Lack of interest in acquiring specialized knowledge.
    No.
     
  • Indecision, the habit of "passing the buck" on all occasions, instead of facing issues squarely. (Also backed by alibis).
    Yes.
     
  • The habit of relying upon alibis instead of creating definite plans for the solution of problems.
    Yes.
     
  • Self-Satisfaction.
    Yes.
     
  • Indifference usually reflected in one's readiness to compromise on all occasions, rather than meet opposition and fight it.
    Yes.
     
  • The habit of blaming others for one's mistakes, and accepting unfavorable circumstances as being unavoidable.
    No.
     
  • WEAKNESS OF DESIRE, due to neglect in the choice of MOTIVES that impel action.
    No.
     
  • Willingness, even eagerness, to quit at the first sign of defeat. (Based upon one or more of the 6 basic fears).
    No.
     
  • Lack of ORGANIZED PLANS, placed in writing where they may be analyzed.
    Yes.
     
  • The habit of neglecting to move on ideas, or to grasp opportunity when it presents itself.
    No.
     
  • WISHING instead of WILLING.
    Yes.
     
  • The habit of compromising with POVERTY instead of aiming at riches. General absence of ambition to be, to do, and to own.
    Yes.
     
  • Searching for all the short-cuts to riches, trying to GET without GIVING a fair equivalent.
    Yes in the past. No now.
     
  • FEAR OF CRITICISM, failure to create plans and to put them into action, because of what other people will think, do, or say.
    Yes, I'm afraid of criticism, but it doesn't prevent me from doing things.

 

Edited by Raphael

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Why I Have Insomnias

I think I'm starting to understand why I have so much trouble sleeping at night. The reason is that I have a lot of traumas and repressed emotions accumulated in myself that create non-stop negative thoughts. I saw my dad being verbally abusive to my mother before going to bed and I'm now unable to sleep because of that. Negative thoughts are currently everywhere in my head.

I think the root cause of my negativity and pessimism is caused by my dad's attitude that I experienced during almost all my life. It fucked me up when I was a kid, it didn't allow me to develop correctly, because of that I had and still have a lot of self-esteem issues.

Now my job is to fix all that I accumulated within myself.

Edited by Raphael

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There's Always Tomorrow - Ralph Smart (Infinite Waters)

 

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A Little Of Sadness

I have been feeling quite sad and had a lot of negative thoughts since the last 1-2 weeks. I'm not sure what's the main reason, but here are some possibilities:

  • Covid-19: I didn't move out of the house since at least three weeks now so I'm always surrounded by my family
  • Bad business results: I didn't found any new clients and didn't earn anything since the beginning of the month
  • Work ethic work: I'm currently working on my work ethic so I'm building new habits, discipline, and concentration. To be successful I need the let go of my addictions to distractions and also porn, so I'm maybe experiencing these negative thoughts because I'm losing "a part of myself".

One of these reasons is probably more important (probably "Bad business results" or "Work ethic work"), but the three are surely also intermixed together.

I need to understand the issues in order to properly solve them, having an attitude of just "think positive, it's doesn't matter" doesn't solve anything because we hide the negativity with a fake layer of positivity. By doing so the issues are still operating in the subconscious mind and may come back very violently in the future.

Main lesson: To fix something definitely, it needs to be fixed from the root by a deep understanding of its cause.

Edited by Raphael

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@Raphael How are your relaxation practices?

Learning to fully relax could be worth more than all the discipline in the world.

No gain in pain. No pain no gain is stage blue BS.

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@Raptorsin7 I think I don't properly relax because when I'm not working I spend time being distracted on the internet. It makes me lose time and then I put pressure on myself and feel ashamed.

12 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Learning to fully relax could be worth more than all the discipline in the world.

No gain in pain. No pain no gain is stage blue BS.

It's the first time that I hear this, it's very insightful. Do you think that proper relaxation leads to proper discipline?

Edited by Raphael

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Anger Is A Self-Defense Mechanism

Anger is a self-defense mechanism in order to hide fear and traumas. People who are very reactive, gets easily angry, and criticize others a lot are that way because they went through a lot of traumatic events and are incapable to properly recover. The more angry they are, the more incompetent they are and the more difficult it is for them to recover.

Trump, Hitler, Saddam Hussein, Kim Jong-Hun, criminals, rapists, terrorists are all traumatized kids. Their brain got so shell shock at a point in their life that it's now impossible for them to recover and work properly. The only thing that they can do after that is to share they traumas with the world.

 

 

Edited by Raphael

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Why We Are Addicts

Most people have at least one major addiction in their lives that they use to deal with nasty emotions like fear/anxiety/anger. I noticed that my dad and grandma needs to eat when they are stressed or angry. I personally use unconscious youtube videos or porn to deal with these moments, but I'm trying to avoid them now.

These addictions are here to prevent people from exploding. If they were not using these addictions they would experience a crisis because they would have to let all their emotions get out.

Letting emotions get out is a nasty process, but this is the spiritual process.

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Nobody Thinks Independently

Nobody really thinks independently, our thinking is mostly determined by the environment in which we grow up and our life circumstances. Conservatives are conservatives because they needed to adapt their environment in order to survive. Democrats are democrats because they needed to adapt their environment in order to survive.

We think we think independently, but it's not really the case, our independent thinking is dependent on a good living environment.

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On 2020-04-17 at 9:09 PM, Raphael said:

It's the first time that I hear this, it's very insightful. Do you think that proper relaxation leads to proper discipline?

Imagine how easy it would be to discipline yourself if you felt relaxed, blissful, peaceful rather then tense, stressed, lethargic.

Life is just easier when you feel amazing. There will be less resistance when you want to do something.

Many people just try to brute force discipline without focusing on how they feel.

I'm going the other way. I'm betting that when I learn to feel good first, everything else will fall into place.

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@Raptorsin7

I had similar thoughts after your previous post. I also realized that when we really love our life, we naturally do and accomplish everything that's necessary to live well without brute-forcing anything.

I remember Sadhguru saying something similar:

I'm currently doing affirmations every day in order to create results, I think I will reframe them to make them more based on love.

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2 Hours Of Meditation

I did 2 hours of meditation for the first time today. I don't consider it to be a huge success because I was highly distracted by my thoughts and was sleepy during the session, so I felt like the time went very fast because of this. It's not a total success, but it's still 2 hours of sitting without moving and opening my eyes, which is progress.

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Why I Failed In Affiliate Marketing

A few years ago I got into Affiliate Marketing as one of my first attempts to get into business, and I miserably failed. Now, that I'm a little more mature I understand why I failed so hard.

I got into Affiliate Marketing after watching videos of a guy who made a lot of money selling software available on JVZOO. I wanted to reproduce the same thing, but the issue that I got is that most of the products were very bad quality products that provided very low value. So, the business model of this platform for most of the products is to manipulate people to make them think that they are buying awesome products. In other words, their business is the scamming business.

At the time, I was conscious enough to see this issue, so it was very hard for me to do it because I was obviously doing a bad thing. But, at the same time, I wanted so bad to make money and some of the promises of affiliate marketing were so compelling that I forced myself to do it. I felt very strong resistance and negative emotions, I was depressed, but I ultimately created a landing page with a sale funnel, and a Facebook Ad to get traffic.

I finally did one sale, but then got a very negative comment on Facebook and choose to stop all this shit and never do it anymore. It was a too dirty business for me, and I couldn't handle it emotionally.

Scamming people through affiliate marketing was one of the most difficult things that I did because it was so unconscious and unethical. If you want to create a business, please create the more conscious business that you can, it will bring you clean money and much more satisfaction in life.

Don't do unconscious Affiliate Marketing, it sucks. Don't scam people, it will come back and bite you in the ass.

Feel the joy of building a conscious business that empowers society.

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Feel

Feel, just feel. Be, just be.

That's a thought, and this too.

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Tips To Sleep Better

  • Exercise regularly
  • Eat properly
  • Have regular waking up and going to bed hours
  • Avoid any kind of distractions late at night: work, video games, TV, reading, parties, nightclubs, etc.
  • Eliminate stress, anxiety, anger, and other negative emotions
  • Be happy
  • Have a consciousness practice every day: meditation, yoga, breathwork, etc.
  • Have calms and relaxed days without a lot of distractions
  • Work in a highly focused manner
  • Reduce internet use and notably social media use to its minimum
  • Reduce shallow activities
  • Don't eat a lot before going to sleep
  • Don't drink a lot before going to sleep
  • Finish to eat at least 2 hours before going to sleep
  • Stop everything at least one hour before going to sleep: no screens, no reading, etc. Just do nothing. The mind and body needs to be empty and relaxed to sleep properly
  • Become enlightened

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Nationalism Is An Animal-Like Behavior

Imagine a family of savage dogs who lives on a piece of land that contains a lot of other animals to eat. These dogs will pee on this territory to show that it belongs to them. In order to keep their precious territory, they will need to defend themselves against other dogs or more dangerous animals. For that, they need a sense of identity and they need to be united together to defend their good, because otherwise if they are confronted with an enemy they wouldn't be strong enough to defend themselves. So the survival of the family comes from a strong attachment of its members to the group and a strong attachment to the precious piece of land.

Similarly, people pees on their territory with their culture, their language, their symbols, and also literally. They are proud of their country and of their identity and don't want it to change. Why? Because this is needed for the survival of their ego and because the ego doesn't want to die. People who are very proud of their country behaves much more like animals than they think. They are lower on the spiral and don't realize it. The lower they are, the more animal-like they are. The higher they are, the more human they are.

Being proud, defending a country at all costs is nationalism, an animal-like behavior.

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