Danioover9000

Is pornography beneficial?

188 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

8 minutes ago, Shadowraix said:

Yes but you see we've deemed anything related to sexual coercion or negative regarding sexuality as worse because it ends up extremely traumatizing.

Because most of you don't have direct experience of various forms of bullying, you can assume that sexual torture is worse than other forms of torture.

Diversity can help here. A tall guy once cleverly cornered me in a place where nobody was watching and angrily threatened to tear my mouth apart and beat me to near death for mocking him without a thought. I wish I could share that direct experience with others just for diversity.

Now, I know various forms of traps that bullies can lay. Even in crowded cities, you can lay traps where there are bubbles of empty spaces.

Edited by CreamCat

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Posted (edited)

5 minutes ago, CreamCat said:

Because most of you don't have direct experience of various forms of bullying, you can assume that sexual torture is worse than other forms of torture.

Diversity can help here. A tall guy once cleverly cornered me in a place where nobody was watching and angrily threatened to tear my mouth apart for mocking him without a thought. I wish I could share that direct experience with others just for diversity.

Now, I know various forms of traps that bullies can lay. Even in crowded cities, you can lay traps where there are bubbles of empty spaces.

Ok but what about the people with experience with both? I'm dating one. Sexual abuse fucked her up more than anything. 

Edited by Shadowraix

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Posted (edited)

4 minutes ago, Shadowraix said:

Ok but what about the people with experience with both? I'm dating one. 

Ask her and others with similar experiences. You are probably going to have to give up that relationship, though.

What kinds of abuse did she go through?

Edited by CreamCat

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1 minute ago, CreamCat said:

Ask her and others with similar experiences. You are probably going to have to give up that relationship, though.

She's pretty transparent to me about it all. She's already told me all her past trauma so I don't expect to have to give it up. 

Will do though. 

Like I said the dynamics of sexuality and trauma is one I don't quite understand. I have some moderate experience with some boundary crossing on me and it didn't really impact me as far as I know. 

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1 minute ago, Shadowraix said:

She's already told me all her past trauma

That doesn't sound good. Do you think she is creating a good future?

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1 minute ago, CreamCat said:

That doesn't sound good. Do you think she is creating a good future?

She's got a lot to work through but I'm helping her help herself every step. 

Anyways this is pretty off topic so you can pm me if this is a conversation you are interested in. Thanks for your perspective though. 😁

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For individual men looking at visual depictions of the female form can help snap you out of one-itis. You can see all that stuff, all those sexy women and have an abundance mentality towards the feminine, not get hung up on any particular one at least physically. And for those who don't have sexual experiences like me, looking at porn or at least softcore nudes gives me opportunity to enjoy seeing female beauty I wouldn't get to in real life.

For normal men I can understand how the can feel held back by porn because without it they would be driven towards having real sex and relationships. But when you're not sexually active but still very heterosexual, denying yourself the visual pleasure is pointless self-cuckoldry. Sometimes I take a long break especially when resuming no-fap after a fap bender, but even when winning at no-fap I still periodically browse softcore adult content, and of course if I happen to see something arousing in real life. In So.Cal I could walk out the door and see things that would make me feel like I walked into a erotic photoshoot.

Because I enjoy looking at sexy and beautiful female forms, even if it's nothing more than like walking through an art gallery where you can look but can't touch.

I also think its obvious that despite the consequences of men being addicted to porn, the proliferation of porn actually results in less rape, groping and sexual violence against women. Similarly to how violent video games reduce violent crime, because it gives men an outlet to get it out of their system in a simulated environment, and do it as much as they want whenever they want, with no effort compared to trying those things in real life. 

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@XYZ Do you think sexual repression in many religious environments contribute to sex crimes? They of course demonize porn and any kind of lusting. This seems like a huge flag for sexual energy to burst out of control. 

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11 hours ago, Danioover9000 said:

    Good! Could you elaborate more? Here's a cookie for a good quality post.🍪

haha, TNX! on what part of the subject do you want me to elaborate more? 

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11 hours ago, XYZ said:

For individual men looking at visual depictions of the female form can help snap you out of one-itis. You can see all that stuff, all those sexy women and have an abundance mentality towards the feminine, not get hung up on any particular one at least physically. And for those who don't have sexual experiences like me, looking at porn or at least softcore nudes gives me opportunity to enjoy seeing female beauty I wouldn't get to in real life.

For normal men I can understand how the can feel held back by porn because without it they would be driven towards having real sex and relationships. But when you're not sexually active but still very heterosexual, denying yourself the visual pleasure is pointless self-cuckoldry. Sometimes I take a long break especially when resuming no-fap after a fap bender, but even when winning at no-fap I still periodically browse softcore adult content, and of course if I happen to see something arousing in real life. In So.Cal I could walk out the door and see things that would make me feel like I walked into a erotic photoshoot.

Because I enjoy looking at sexy and beautiful female forms, even if it's nothing more than like walking through an art gallery where you can look but can't touch.

I also think its obvious that despite the consequences of men being addicted to porn, the proliferation of porn actually results in less rape, groping and sexual violence against women. Similarly to how violent video games reduce violent crime, because it gives men an outlet to get it out of their system in a simulated environment, and do it as much as they want whenever they want, with no effort compared to trying those things in real life. 

   Thanks for your high quality post! I do agree that Pornography reduces sex related crimes and if done right can spice up sex between partners. Here's a cookie. 🍪

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10 hours ago, hamedsf said:

haha, TNX! on what part of the subject do you want me to elaborate more? 

   How you benefited from Pornography in understanding sexuality.

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17 hours ago, Danioover9000 said:

   To reiterate: the purpose of this thread is to discuss potential benefits of Pornography for understanding sexuality, masculinity and femininity and it's potential for self development. Please post any research or experience of Pornography that is or has had a positive impact in the four I mentioned for you.

   Please don't put links or be too explicit with the porn material or the interaction, but focus on what is/was beneficial about your experience.

   I'll be very clear: be constructive and considerate if and only if you had experienced negative effects of pornography, not just to me but to others who are open minded. I'm aware of the negatives, and I'm very aware of how easy it is to be polarizing, to be dogmatic and close minded. If all you had to say are negatives about porn, then don't post. If you demonize pornography and straw man pornography to build up your own ideology, don't post and leave. If you have some benefits and negatives about pornography, be considerate and constructive.

   I'm hoping that this raises awareness about pornography as a possible tool for understanding sexuality, masculinity, femininity and self development. I understand that this could be hard for you depending on your circumstances and psychology, but take 100% responsibility for your development. I see some potential here that I hope can be of use to you. Of course, when it's stilll of use to you, meaning you are free to move on from Pornography. Thanks for reading.

   

.

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@Danioover9000 Lul I didn't see where you said you are a nofap practitioner. Hid my post immediately after. 

It's a common trap for somebody to want to investigate something to reaffirm their own ideas which is why I mentioned it. 

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I've had sex with guy's that I know have regularly watched porn and it's the most mechanical, soul-less, non genuine, boring sex I've ever had in my life. 

I've also had sex with guy's that don't regularly watch porn and it can be exactly the opposite of that. 

Guys who watch porn treat women in bed like a 'one size fits all' approach and honestly? I'd rather listen to fishing on the radio than engage in sexual activity with them.

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@Shadowraix  For me personally it is like when I relapse, I feel lack of motivation to do literally anything and then after like 1 or 2 days I already feel recharged and excited to do stuff, it isn't just for sex. Also it is harder to focus, which hinders the search of God.

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On 05/07/2019 at 8:48 PM, flume said:

@Danioover9000 @Bill W 
I bet there’s lots of great research out there and all the points made here a totally valid but I just wanna explain what porn feels like from a woman’s perspective.

I haven’t watched a lot of porn in my life but every time I did I thought ‘That can’t be nice. How can she like that?’
I think porn is hugely made for men. At least watch amateur if you really want to.
Of course you start comparing your body and your performance to porn stars. But even worse, you start thinking that there’s something wrong with you for not liking what they show in porn.

Penetration isn’t automatically pleasurable for woman as it is for men. A shocker for most men, I know! It’s a freaking challenge to really turn a woman on in bed. Sex is so much more than going in and out a few times. Most woman want more than that, they want a deep connection.
What I’ve seen in porn sets totally unrealistic expectations on both sides.

It took me a long time to un-learn acting in bed and permitting myself to make some demands. (And I have watched very very little porn and had great, caring boyfriends so I don’t even wanna know how much other woman are struggling with this.)

The point you made may be right, but 99,9% of people are vulnerable when it comes to this and are not conscious enough to see that what they’re watching is not the reality. Your brain can’t distinguish very well on what’s real and what isn’t. (Otherwise you wouldn’t even be turned on while watching it). I think that’s especially true for when you’re a teen and you form your sexual habits.

And even if you intellectually know and you’re also super conscious, it still influences you. Think about why you have sex the way you do. Who taught you? Your parents? Movies? Porn? It’s a mix of things you saw before, otherwise you wouldn’t even know it’s possible. It’s like with all media, if you have a choice, be super careful what you feed your thoughts with. You’re nothing but a product of your surroundings. 

Considering all the points made in this thread it’s just not worth it for me.

I can say I’ve had the best sex with guys that haven’t watched porn in a long time. That could of course be a coincidence but I don’t think it is. And I’m not talking good when it comes to technique but good in presence, which is so much more important. I think that’s what it comes down to with intimacy anyway. Can you be present with your own body jerking off without starring at a screen? Can you have sex with your girlfriend without thinking about porn? Because if not, you’re probably missing something very important and you’re probably not conscious enough to make all the claims made above with being able to separate porn from reality.

Sexuality is beautiful, learn lots about it for sure. But doing that by watching porn is like saying you wanna learn how to cook well so you’ll just go to a junk food restaurant and see what you can learn. You’re not offered what you’re looking for but you might be tricked into thinking that it is what you want. Maybe it’s in the same general category of what you want to learn but I’m hesitant to use the word beneficial.

So good to read you btw Bill! A breath of fresh air to read someone that’s actually humble enough to learn. So proud you’re still sticking around. I’m happy to hear you have a girlfriend, hope everything is working out well. In the end, you still need to make the decision on whatever works for you and your relationship. We’re all just sharing here. Keep up the good work!:-)

porn is maybe not junk food though and is very pro sexuality on the contrary, but ONLY on the technical. No spirituality at all. And it probably kill the "presence" for sure. 

I even believe in a way that porn is probably a bit opening people to a more wide range of sexual possibility.

just accept being a monkey

I think it can teach you something as everything in life, but if the teaching is of use/not use &

good/bad that is up to you


holy-war - "I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty". 

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7 hours ago, Charlotte said:

I've had sex with guy's that I know have regularly watched porn and it's the most mechanical, soul-less, non genuine, boring sex I've ever had in my life. 

I've also had sex with guy's that don't regularly watch porn and it can be exactly the opposite of that. 

Guys who watch porn treat women in bed like a 'one size fits all' approach and honestly? I'd rather listen to fishing on the radio than engage in sexual activity with them.

@Charlotte  I can't say I've noticed a difference. The girls I have had sex with who love porn have been great sexual partners and so have the girls who don't really like porn. I have not spotted a pattern like you have. Unless it's men that go bad in bed if they like porn. I could buck the trend as i've not had any complaints.... yet!!!! 

My hunch is that the men you have slept with that like porn might not have been watching amateur home made porn. This is the best kind. The men you have been with might have been watching the porn that involves things like breast implants, 6 packs, and fake sun tan's. This porn can make a man go bad in bed, like a dud. Perhaps what you have experienced. 

Sounds like you've had some bad times sex wise, some men are just like that. 

You know what they say.... there's someone for everyone.....

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@Bill W  This issue is drastically different in men and women. When a guy has an orgasm, he doesn't want to fuck anymore. When a girl has an orgasm, she wants more. These are hormonal changes that don't only show themselves in bed.

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@Bill W maybe so yeah. You bring forward some great points. I also feel that culture plays a huge part also. 

@DrewNows Brilliant response. I can definitely see what you mean. 

 

 

 

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