Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
Pilgrim

How to Loosen Up More in Dating

3 posts in this topic

So I was seeing this really great guy for a couple of months, but unfortunately it didn't work out between us... and I can't properly let go. Therefore I am going on a lot of dates now to distract my mind a bit. And I noticed that I am actually slightly stiff and reserved in a dating situation, particularly when I am interested. How can I loosen up more and also show more of myself? I play it way too safe.. and only say what I think is acceptable, what makes me quite predictable. I'd love to show more of my quirks and generally be more vulnerable. But somehow it's very difficult for me to share or show something personal to other people? 

Any advice on how to approach this is highly appreciated :) 

Edited by Pilgrim

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's good you are aware of your issue. I think it's natural to be more reserved and not as spontaneous when there's some skin in the game. You do like the guy, so you are more afraid to lose him, rather than losing someone who you don't care about as much.

I think small steps definitely help. Just like in anything. Dare to do small things that push your comfort zone every date. It can be something like moving in a way that you are not used to move, saying something you wouldn't usually say, being playful.

Be courageous. I know it's tough. I struggle with this myself. But if you want the guy, I think it's worth to make yourself do a little work.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Pilgrim Are you familiar with spirituality? If so, you could remember some metaphysical truths while in such situations, like: There is no self, you are God, everything is perfect exactly how it is, life is a dream, every problem ( and the reasons why you are not perfectly relaxed in such sutuations) is only a concept, a distortion of reality.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0