The end is nearing

[Bulgarianspirit]

Tbh you have been through hell, i have been too to tell you the truth drugs don't fix your problem, i initially chased spirituality to run away from problems as well, find out why my life sucks and if there is a god. I messed up my serotonin system and had hppd for a good six months. Sometimes i still see patterns on clear surfaces,during stressful situations.

First stop the drugs and second find something productive to do. 

I started this whole thing because of a girlfriend who left me in debt, wasted 5 years of my life and made me feel like utter garbage when cheating with a richer dude. I felt like all the money,provision being for her etc was for nothing.

WOMEN cant make you happy. Many men get divorce raped, destroyed and left behind, so dont be mad about not having a woman focus on you. 

And one day you might meet a woman,but it can never be like this.

You need the cash,charisma and success and happiness on your own,otherwise you risk my nightmare.

Take care and stop the drugs!

 

[susanyzm]

On 2019/6/21 at 5:37 AM, Psychonaut said:

I try to express my pain, I try to let it out. People don't take it serious.

Whenever I feel chasing my abusive thoughts down the rabbit hole, I visit this section of the forum for support. As I write these words, I'm extending compassion both to you and to myself. 

You are very poetic and sensitive. That's a talent you need to cherish. Many people are wired to believe that sensitivity is dramatic. That's why you find it hard to bring people into your reality. But your emotions will always find a way out. Drugs, sex, cutting, writing about it, poems, reaching out on this forum are all the ways you use to sooth yourself. 

I see you love words very much. May I suggest you incorporate more soothing words into your journal, even just for esthetic value? Words are very powerful but quite undervalued vehicle of emotions. You can actually alter the state of your mind by changing your words.

Your dark side is very valuable. The abyss you are in can be a rich source for you to connect on a deep level with people, but only when it's wrapped in high consciousness and compassion. 

I have a file called "Words of Wisdom" and I throw in several wise quotes every day. My dark side is very slippery too. Reading these quotes every day gives me a pause that I can't do myself: "Hey, here's another perspective. Try it."

Rumi's poems are very soothing. Perhaps you can put some of his words in your poem collection. 

On 2019/6/24 at 4:04 AM, bejapuskas said:

You cannot help others and radiate Infinite Wisdom and Endless Love, if you don't help yourself first. But your suffering makes you believe, that it is meaningful to suffer and that you are helping someone with it. That's a lie.

Definitely a quote that I put in my "Words of Wisdom"!