cle103

3.5g Magic Mushroom Trip Report - The ONE seeing

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Posted (edited)

First of all I want to give a shoutout to @Nahm for his tea procedure. I opted for Ginseng and added some ginger plus honey from my granddad’s bees.

This might have been the first time mushrooms tasted good lol.

More importantly: The come up was gentle. Dramatically less body load. Especially compared to the last time where I took 5g’s and felt like a truck parked on my face.

 

To set the scene for this trip I have to start a couple weeks ago when I started listening to the Conversations with God audiobooks.

There are multiple passages where he explains that you yourself create your own reality. And that your thought creates reality.

Ever since then I got these thoughts like: “Man, if I create all of this… I do not want to be tortured in Syria or some shit.” - Thoughts like these came up multiple times with some great images as well. And I was afraid that I would create this...

And so I did create the equal of this scenery in my own life (great job dude).

Luckily there was no physical pain, it was all on a mental level. And as I became aware of today it was all for a greater purpose:

Especially the last days I was just sick of creating my own suffering. I was seeing how I am doing all of this myself and holding on to it as well. Last night it was tormenting me. And I wanted to put an end to it. So I wrote up a message to my boss. I wanted to clear the air completely. Lay it all out in the open. Radically honest.

And this was exactly the right thing. Not only did he take it well, it also showed up in this trip in a major way.

 

With that being said let’s go:

From the beginning of the trip I was in a conversation. The trip was utterly gentle. I mean mushrooms can fuck you up. This was the opposite. It was a loving and healing teacher.

At first it asked me: What do you want to learn?

My answer (and set intention) was: Clear cut awakening.

It: Are you sure?

Me: Yes.

It: Be honest. Isn’t there some dating stuff that is more important to you at this moment?

Me: Uhm… yes. <- In this instance I realized what was communicated to me 2 trips ago. There some entity told me that my path is the one of energy and purification. It was in this instance that I realized what “Purification” means.

It means being honest. Not hiding the sneaky shit the ego does. Put it out there. Stare the devil in the face and watch it eat itself. That is purification.

 

Now back to the main story:

I admitted that the dating stuff was on top of my mind and so It answered: Okay, let’s work on that first.

It then proceeded to show me all the ways that I create my own suffering in life. It all interconnected 100%. The trip just showed me ALL of it. The last months of my life just clicked in perfect synchrony. And it was done in such a beautiful, loving and gentle way.

I will include some of the learnings at the end. However I want to get to the big stuff now:

The trip kept building and interconnecting more and more...

 

Then at the utmost peak God literally asked me:

“What? Do you expect me to chop your head off now?”

Remember my intent was “Clear cut awakening”.

I was utterly awestruck. Then it went completely nuts.

Last trip was the first time I got a breakthrough to absolute infinity but this was something else man…

 

I directly became aware of It again, yet it was so much deeper and it happened in just one moment. I became aware of... 

The one pixel. 

God.

I do not know why the word pixel came to mind but it was so fitting: Time, space, any dimension… it is all one pixel… one eyeball seeing.

And it is all there fucking is. All here and now. Any and everything is contained within this one fucking pixel.

 

And I am it. I am fucking it!

Anything else is window dressing.

But if you want more words here are some that described me a few moments after the realization:

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

 

Followed by tears. And tears. And tears.

 

There is no difference between life and trip. No difference between life and death. The one talking with God is talking to itself. They are one. You are talking to yourself.

This trip took me out. I am completely exhausted. 

 

 

Following are some of the learnings I got from this trip:  

Spiral Dynamics: I would consider myself a healthy green and had some inhibitions to going yellow as my judgement was that "they" think everything to death. Here I became aware of “Integration”. You do not abandon your love for nature and animals… you build on top of it. I could go more in depth but this is the gist.

Work/Life Balance: You do not have to make a clear cut between life and work. This creates suffering. If you do not want to work so much be honest. Be clear and open. And do not enforce egoic boundaries when emergencies disturb “Balance”. Truth is oneness. Balance is contained within that. As with Spiral Dynamics: You build on top of it and integrate.

Gender: I never really understood the whole “Gender is a construct” thing, however I also did not think about it alot. Until now. Gender is truly a construct. And it is not even a scale from A to B. It is more like a square. And you are somewhere on there with your starting point, orientation and so on. 

Life: Have you ever noticed that everyone gets dropped in this thing with a different starting package? Age, brain chemistry, parents, spiral dynamics starting point, … It truly is like a video game. Then it is up to you what to make of it. Note that this starting point might not be random. You have to chart your own path. 

Alchemy: When you want to change something, for example an emotion it does nothing to stew in your own juices… hoping to be happy again. You have to face it head on. Always. Only then transformation can occur. Basic rule of life: Face challenges NOW (it is always now) and head on.

Ecology: A forrest is a perfect ecosystem. There are alot of mice. They can hide, reproduce and eat. And then there are birds that can also eat the mice and so on… all in balance. Now: A city is the same thing. Only in a distorted, unnatural way with more difficulty and suffering for everyone involved lol. 

Enlightenment: It is not only (if at all) the hours that you practice. What truly matters is your sincerity.

Reality: This right here is "God central". It all happens here and now. Creation is immedeate, time is an illusion, death is an idea. 

Enlightenment Part 2: God, why do I have to go through all this shit? Answer: We frontload it so you can have an integrated awakening. I mean... man! I cannot believe I got answers like this. 

 

Last note:

2 trips ago I decided to take this much more serious (tripping). It is not a villy nilly thing anymore as in “trip when you feel like it”. It is truly a part of my path and I can now clearly see where it is heading.

Love you all so much!




 

Edited by cle103

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@cle103 Thanks for that kick in the feels, awesome report. So happy for you!  🙏🏻   Ginzing! 


  Nonduality & Meditations         

Empty your head, fulfill your heart       

 

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It's amazing how the trips are different for everyone. Mine was a 2 gram trip and it was mostly vague visuals, fear and despair. Any questions I asked yielded no response whatsoever.


"The narcissist becomes one with everything, because the narcissist is everything and everything is the narcissist" -Sam Vaknin

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@Nahm Thank you man! Ginzing indeed ❤️ 

@Shaun I can relate. Shrooms can be like that. This was my 10th experience (or so) on them. Only the last 3 have been clear awakenings and becoming conscious of infinity. Although the earlier ones all played a role. Without them this one could not have been possible. 

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@cle103 Great work!

Each trip will continue to take you deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole. 50 trips is still just the beginning!


"Be melting snow. Wash yourself of yourself." -- Rumi

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@Leo Gura Thank you! 

Man, this was my 10th trip or so... this one felt even deeper than the last one which was 5g's. Hard to image what they will look like on the 50th ride.

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Thanks for the report and insights. Loved it. Every time I read something like this, I get the genuine desire to do psychedelics. These experiences are truly beautiful.

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13 hours ago, cle103 said:

Gender: I never really understood the whole “Gender is a construct” thing, however I also did not think about it alot. Until now. Gender is truly a construct. And it is not even a scale from A to B. It is more like a square. And you are somewhere on there with your starting point, orientation and so on. 

What do you mean by the gender spectrum being a square? The idea intrigues me. 

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@ElenaO Thank you, they are beautiful indeed :) 

@Neorez That was a vision that came to mind in that instance. It is not only that you lie somewhere on a pole between male and female... there are other dimensions to the spectrum (hence a square) like what your energy is like, what you are attracted to and so on. It is more complex, completely fluid and can change over time. 

Hope that makes sense. 

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@cle103 It makes perfect sense to me, although I have the urge to seperate gender, sex, sexual prefference but combining it could have some benefits to reduce the amount of right wrong judgements(I hope). I've been dealing with gender for quit some time now and it still illudes me. But I like the way you visualised it. I think squares are even more usefull then using lines to speak about a spectrum because people will argue for left, right top or bottom to be how thing should be. But this becomes more difficult with a square. I like it, thank you for that!

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@Neorez I can relate. It seems like you either have a penis or a vagina however there are all sorts of things in between. It's much more fluid without clear separations. It is not either or... it's somewhere on this field/square and you cannot really put a label on it.

What society would call a "typical" man is on the same field as a "typical" women. And in reality they might not be opposites at all but rather close to each other. 

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@cle103 Indeed! I also find that thinking in terms of masculine or feminine energies in a person is also more clear than saying a man should be masculine and a woman should be feminine. Great insight, love it!

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