how to transcend sex and the desire for a pretty girl?

[CreamCat]

Keep asking high quality questions about sex. You will eventually get all the answers in months or years.

You just need to collect answers opportunistically.

[Nahm]

@Peo You don’t actually have any need to transcend to transcend sex and the desire for a pretty girl. It’s a matter of priority. If you practice, and in doing so, deconstruct and detach from self referential thinking, you discover you are the greatest possible experience there could ever be, little by little, each day, each practice. 

Then all these experiences that seemingly come and go are not so gripping. The experience of desperation, of needing anything, is revealed for what it is. 

So get good with yourself, with your choices, with your vision for this life, and or get good with God. It’s only in mentally placing potential experiences above or below your idea of you, which creates the suffering. You are more than enough, however you are right now, exactly as you are right now. This does not mean you won’t want to experience preferences in life, but rather, free’s You up to do so. 

Also, look into karma yoga for a while. It’s much better than sex and pretty girls. And of course, you just might find that the girl you are really wanting, can not resist the man who is at peace with himself, who wants, loves, and appreciates all things, but needs no thing, as he is Happy.

[bejapuskas]

3 hours ago, Peo said:

So when my ego dies and all there is left is the godhead or otherwise known as the formlessness will i not be attracted to girls anymore?

Is there someone else inside your head called the ego?  Are you schizophrenic? Is the Godhead not here now? Can you not be satisfied right now?

[jerrypua]

Now you have the desire to get rid of sexual desire, you see, it's the same game of the mind.

Sex is life. You have to understand that, there is nothing wrong with feeling sexual desire, what's "wrong" is to being attached to it.

You can enjoy things of life without being attached to them.

 

First of all let go the desire of wanting to getting rid of your sexual desire.

And now look what is left. Emptiness? No attachment? Or even not desires?

You have to experiment it by yourself.

Go deep, why do you want to get rid of sexual desire? Because if I continue feeling desire I will be far from enlightenment. And why do I want to be enlightened? Because I do not like my present or how I feel right now. and Why? Why did not you accept everything as it is? Because here and now I am not at peace and happy and I feel the desire to be enlightened or I can not be happy.

Happiness and enlightenment is here and now but your desire for enlightenment is blocking you.

 

 

"If you are here with enlightenment as your goal you cannot be here, physically you may appear to be here but you cannot be with me. The goal is in the future, I'm here, and the mind that is goal-oriented it's bound to be in the future" 

"You are here to attempt something, that's why you are missing it" ~Osho

 

[Leo Gura]

@Peo Sit down and don't have sex for 6 months. And suffer through the hell of not getting what you want.

There is no shortcut here. You're gonna have to suffer until that ego finally gives up and dies. The ego will not just give up its most important desires without massive struggle.

To achieve this you're basically talking about giving up your entire life. It's harder than suicide. Which is why virtually no body does it.

The solution is the very thing you've been avoiding your whole life: death.

[Peo]

9 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Sit down and don't have sex for 6 months

In my contry, its illegal to have sex before you turn 16. Many kids dont have sex before they turn 17 or 18. So basically these teenager have sat down and not have sex for almost 3 or 4 years.

[Rohit N]

@bmcnicho You are totally right.

I never found a woman who was going to support me on my mission. Most women hindered my mission and I let them go. (Got Red pilled - ROllo TOmassi)

It is very difficult to find a partner who understands you at a deep level. You are better off being alone.

Every social relationship has social obligations. Remember that.

A lot of super successful men where Bachelors - Tesla, Newton, Mozart.

Illusion of "perfect woman" has been broken for me. I am no longer a slave to that desire. 

I feel that's why Life purpose is so important. If you have that and you are obsessed with it, no one will be distract you for long.

Sure, you can indulge in pleasures occasionally, but the best pleasure is pleasure of achievement.

Cheers.

[charlesvonschwarz]

On 6/22/2019 at 9:48 AM, Peo said:

In my contry, its illegal to have sex before you turn 16. Many kids dont have sex before they turn 17 or 18. So basically these teenager have sat down and not have sex for almost 3 or 4 years.

Of course he is talking about any type of sexual practice (like masturbation), or even orgasm in general, ever since that desire first arose.

[flowboy]

@Peo  For the record, I don't think this is a good idea at all. When you transcend your sexual desire, it happens naturally. It's not something you 'strive for'.

But here it is:

 

[Shaun]

On 6/22/2019 at 4:22 AM, Leo Gura said:

@Peo Sit down and don't have sex for 6 months. And suffer through the hell of not getting what you want.

There is no shortcut here. You're gonna have to suffer until that ego finally gives up and dies. The ego will not just give up its most important desires without massive struggle.

To achieve this you're basically talking about giving up your entire life. It's harder than suicide. Which is why virtually no body does it.

The solution is the very thing you've been avoiding your whole life: death.

@Leo Gura I've never had sex in my life and sometimes the feelings get totally unbearable. Put it this way, I'm more likely to win the rigged National Lottery than have sex, let's not bullshit ourselves around that point.

Is the following a good action plan to finally break free of thee feelings of craving and lack?

1 Abstain completely from masturbation

 2 When the feelings of craving and lack arise, sit and meditate for an hour and repeat until the ego breaks?

[CreamCat]

As leo said, don't have sex for months. If you don't have sex for 10 years, it will vaporize. It happened to me. I still have sexual desires, but I am not interested in actually spending my time and energy to have sex.

I'm still struggling with masturbation, but it is largely under control.

[CreamCat]

11 hours ago, Shaun said:

@Leo Gura I've never had sex in my life and sometimes the feelings get totally unbearable. Put it this way, I'm more likely to win the rigged National Lottery than have sex, let's not bullshit ourselves around that point.

Is the following a good action plan to finally break free of thee feelings of craving and lack?

1 Abstain completely from masturbation

 2 When the feelings of craving and lack arise, sit and meditate for an hour and repeat until the ego breaks?

Read about how long-term relationships and marriages fail in various ways. Also, you haven't lived long enough to transcend desire to actually have sex. I've lived long enough to transcend that desire.

Edited July 2, 2019 by CreamCat

[Gili Trawangan]

14 hours ago, Shaun said:

@Leo Gura I've never had sex in my life and sometimes the feelings get totally unbearable. Put it this way, I'm more likely to win the rigged National Lottery than have sex, let's not bullshit ourselves around that point.

Is the following a good action plan to finally break free of thee feelings of craving and lack?

1 Abstain completely from masturbation

 2 When the feelings of craving and lack arise, sit and meditate for an hour and repeat until the ego breaks?

@Shaun You're a young guy who has never had sex, if I were you I would not be trying to transcend sex altogether, I would be trying to have some sex. You can definitely do it, it just takes some effort. But the process of learning how to seduce women is also A LOT OF FUN.

You should go for what you want, not give up because of limiting beliefs. Just my two cents, you are obviously free to ignore my advice.

[Shaun]

7 hours ago, laptophaver said:

Do you enjoy sadness? Is this masochism?

Is this detention? 

 

I have certain needs which can not be met. This does not mean I enjoy sadness. I have to find a way to transcend these needs or suffer for life.

 

2 hours ago, Gili Trawangan said:

@Shaun You're a young guy who has never had sex, if I were you I would not be trying to transcend sex altogether, I would be trying to have some sex. You can definitely do it, it just takes some effort. But the process of learning how to seduce women is also A LOT OF FUN.

You should go for what you want, not give up because of limiting beliefs. Just my two cents, you are obviously free to ignore my advice.

I just look at my strengths and weaknesses and focus my efforts on what is likely to succeed. For me, attaining full enlightenment is a far better use of my time as it is more likely to succeed than seduction and all of that other stuff. I mean, come on, I look as seductive as a bloody fence post! No offense to fence posts.

So the best course of action is just to consciously watch the feelings of lack, etc until the ego finally gives in?

Edited July 2, 2019 by Shaun

[Gili Trawangan]

@Shaun Seduction has very little (if anything) to do with your looks (you made me laugh with the fence post remark though!). That would be the first lesson that you would learn, women are attracted to different things than men. For us looks in a woman are fundamental, but women have different attraction switches. You can learn how to flip those switches, regardless of your looks.

As far as enlightenment goes, I'm not cut out to give advice because I'm also a seeker. But I've heard that if we have unresolved wants and desires it is hard to have a quiet mind and transcend the ego. Then again, I could be wrong so don't take my word for it.

When it comes to women though I know what I'm talking about.

[bejapuskas]

@Gili Trawangan  In my experience, if I really want to grow, I need to make some effort with my attention, it is not like you go high and then it stays like it. That is really hard to do, when all of your energy is used on seduction and thinking about sex. It is extremely hard to stay detached and undistracted, probably almost impossible.

[flowboy]

5 hours ago, Shaun said:

For me, attaining full enlightenment is a far better use of my time as it is more likely to succeed than seduction and all of that other stuff.

@Shaun Enlightenment is something many people work on for 40 years every day and never attain.

And you think your chances are better than the chance of having sex.

So that must mean, if you worked on getting laid for 40 years every day, you wouldn't figure it out...

Boy, do you have a low opinion of yourself

Which also explains the not getting laid.

Let me tell you, you're better off spending some of that effort working on a healthy self esteem. You may see results within  a year. Then you can have all the sex you want. And also, your life will be crippled in other ways if you don't get a healthy self esteem. You won't be able to get after your life purpose very well, either.

Edited July 2, 2019 by flowboy

[bejapuskas]

@flowboy  I am not saying you shouldn't work on relationships and self-esteem, that's important, but Enlightenment work isn't only about the end result, you can become much more aware and grateful even for the little things in the process and also it is not like you „finish“ the work, it's a constant effort, which is well worth it. It's just that it is hard to do if you base all of your happiness on getting laid.

[Shaun]

7 hours ago, flowboy said:

@Shaun Enlightenment is something many people work on for 40 years every day and never attain.

And you think your chances are better than the chance of having sex.

So that must mean, if you worked on getting laid for 40 years every day, you wouldn't figure it out...

Boy, do you have a low opinion of yourself

Which also explains the not getting laid.

Let me tell you, you're better off spending some of that effort working on a healthy self esteem. You may see results within  a year. Then you can have all the sex you want. And also, your life will be crippled in other ways if you don't get a healthy self esteem. You won't be able to get after your life purpose very well, either.

My mindset just now is that there is nothing else in life worth pursuing other than enlightenment. It's just so unfortunate that this walking flesh prison makes that nearly impossible due to its cravings and other ideas. I'm open to a relationship if it arises but chasing it is just going to make me suffer more.

[bejapuskas]

@Shaun  Try watching some Sadhguru, he can show you how to become joyful and loving without Enlightenment