Gladius

Social skills challenge

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I struggle big time approaching women I really really like. It's so hard-wired in my brain I literally walk away from them sometimes.

I'm looking for specific daily challenges I can do to improve my social skills (and yes, specifically pick up and dating).

Any ideas on how to start with easy challenges, and then escalating? 

Thanks! 

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Easy challenge: give 10 high fives

Next challenge: tell 6 people a good story with some emotion in it. Pick the emotion and practice expressing it. See if your message comes across

Harder challenge: go for the kiss at least 3 times in a night before you go home

I was at an RSD seminar recently and they recommended strict and measurable goal-setting like this. Disclaimer: I haven't applied it myself yet


Learn to resolve trauma. Together.

Testimonials thread: www.actualized.org/forum/topic/82672-experience-collection-childhood-aware-life-purpose-coaching/

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Buy "Rules of the Game"by Niel Strauss. It contains a 30 day period of daily challenges.

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Do you live in a big city? and are you taking about in the daytime? I would suggest visiting a big city near you with a friend on the same journey and spend a few hours approaching directly all the girls you find attractive, it will be very scary at first but once you do this enough times you realise its not really much of a big deal at all. You will also be shocked at how easy it can be to strike up a convo with a complete stranger. Note you want to do this in a city where no one knows who you are, a big city like London or New York.

 

In terms of daily challenges where you live this can be quite tricky if its a small place as you don't want to get a rep. However if it is a small place just go out at night and you can get away with approaching girls you find attractive a lot easier, again find a friend who will help you approach. However if you live in a big city you have to just go out there and get use to hitting on girls you like, don't beat around the bush be clear with your intention in what you want to get out of this.

 

Also note this is all an internal battle, you need to start doing inner work on why you get nervous around attractive girls, it will probably revolve around things like self esteem and not believing you are enough. Start working on changing your internal dialogue. 

 

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make friends first (female)

by doing so you'll be more comfortable around them, and you'll get to know how they think and so on 

you need to be open and just talk about anything. girls open up more easily than you think 

it also depend on where you are and the kind of culture you're in. so good luck 

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