Reflection - Mastery Discipline Life Purpose

[ValiantSalvatore]

Today I will focus on my pattern of discomfort.

I will try to write this shitty post. I am not angry, just wondering what I've been doing this whole time. I rely on comfort on a daily basis to survive ? Social Isolation ? I definitely feel when I am going out with people and I don't have a large variety of social groups to opt for, that I generally struggle with wanting to be with people to much. That is one reason why I want to join clubs to have a set expectation of meeting people regurarly and this is what I notice a lot of people who are normally sucessful do. So, I am certainly being observered lmao. Writting this in public. Coding in public. So, coding with a friend on different projects certainly gives you just mental backup to start doing stuff. Yet, I am mostly distracted, it's fine better than nothing. I chilled today with a Dr. from the MaxPlanck Institute which is kinda funny and generally meeting people who are my age studying the sciences is way cooler, than going out for drinks. At best with them. I can discuss a ton of social and poltical problems. As well as I want to say the new series the Expanse is quite good. I love it that they combine science, sci-fi, politics and individual personality or more characters. Anyway. I post this out of obligation I did not meditate the past 3 days, because I helped did not really feel to practice ? Yet, I miss the 1h sessions often I notice now that my background and without support physically that I am just prone to distract myself. It's fine still, yet I want to practice I hope I will sit today for 1h. At least and tomorrow get out of the freaking house and go to the libary coding. I still feel bad about a couple of things I have difficulties sharing with because I don't know people will relate. 

I am thankful for meeting friends.
I am thankful for having fun.
I am thankful for coding and programming itself opening doors and opportunities 
I am thankful for this journal.
I am thankful for people I meet on the internet or have meet on the internet for inspiring me. 

3 traits of future self.
More academically accomplished friends.
More fun with academically accomplished friends.
Having a foot in the door into the world of business. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

I also noticed a ton of biases against white people lmao even if I am both that I notice just makes me angry, I don't know I actually want to understand I think this is why I am mainly angry... Now I have to ask more questions. As usual...