Hello! I recently found this community as part of a search for the reasons why no one seemed to see the world as I do.  I grew up excessively Mormon, but left after I found out the religion wasn't a full description of reality. From there I went to college and studied both philosophy and psychology, especially linguistics. On day one of my intro to philosophy course, I realized I wasn't to find truth there either. Everyone argued for their beliefs so vehemently that it wasn't hard to see that no one was "right." They were simply exhibiting their own subjective point of view.  I coined this term "belief-mongering" and saw it everywhere I went but no one talked about it. No one saw the pattern. So I began to look for people who had already realized this and found and read more than 3,000 books on all kinds of personal development topics. I started a business and since I'm alone all day shipping in a warehouse I listen to them on 1.5x speed and get through a book a day. I've been doing this for about seven years. I recently and joyfully discovered spiral dynamics (thanks, Leo) and realized I'm very yellow. I don't have any beliefs, just cause and effect predictions that are either maximally effective or minimally effective. I became interested in systems thinking and even wrote a book on systems before I found the spiral (yet to be published). I gave up afterlife predictions and most black and white thinking.  My chief problem these days is that this is a very lonely way to see the world. I recently attended a funeral for a close family member and listened with interest to all the descriptions of my family's afterlife beliefs. Some of my family talked of heaven (blue), one man who came from Samoa talked about animals taking part in the afterlife (purple), some talked only of the deceased achievements and how they hoped to achieve as much (orange), etc etc. It was dizzying and interesting! There was even a lot of red behavior from the children of the deceased, fighting with each other for "stuff." Driving home, I talked of all the beliefs with my husband and children and how we all have different ways of looking at what happens and how that is integral to culture and upbringing. I had the sense that none of them understood what I was talking about. They could only see within the confines of their belief structures. The very LANGUAGE I was using appeared not to make sense to them. My spouse is very green and he sees things in a very kind, green way, but does not fathom yellow. Other attempts at communicating systems thinking to people in other spiral categories have led to a profound lack of understanding and more belief mongering. This has been going on for a very long time now. Even my highly-educated, well-read friends appear to be in green in that they insist their way is "right." I am recently struck with the sorrow of how lonely it feels to think in ways that are not in alignment with the culture. I am hitting something of a wall of dilemmas. Here they are: - Are yellow ideals just another form of belief-centrism and should they, therefore, be hidden from the world? Should yellow communicate their point of view to others? - How does one build a social life around a community that is only interested in belief-mongering and flaunting orange status or blue and green virtues? - Is profound acceptance and tolerance of all belief systems enough to satisfy an evolutionary urge to connect with others given the fact that we sort according to interests and beliefs? - If we are all system drones, and free will is non-existent, how must we live with such knowledge? - How can one love others and progress to turquoise if one feels so separate? - If one has a greater awareness of systems, how does one ethically use this? It feels a lot like manipulation. - How does one feel grounded when one realizes there is no ground? Is grounding necessary? If all beliefs are suspect, then how can one progress through life with such knowledge? - How does one live in the material world when one feels how immaterial it all is?   These questions are on my mind almost constantly now. It's a lot of questions but I think it boils down to the idea that how can one exist in the matrix when one begins to see the code, and others do not seem to. I am not nieve enough to think I see the whole picture yet, by any means, but it's starting to reveal itself and I am terrified. I'm only 38 and the thought of living another 40-50 years like this seems to be a painful lot. If only I'd learned this stuff later in life.