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Surfingthewave

Avoidance: How we trick ourselves

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The biggest threshold guardian for me on this journey is avoidance. Avoidance of those daily habits that are needed to meet those goals, avoidance of those big challenges to help get over plateaus, avoidance of doing the things we need to do reach the top.

This is the part of self help which is like the dog chasing its own tail. (I'm also aware of the NO self part of the journey). So how do we make ourselves accountable? I've done the thinking about your own death bit, goal setting, recognising ego backlash, considered coaching etc. 

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@Surfingthewave a couple of years ago I studied myself, my actions, my gestures and my thought patterns in an attempt to heal anxiety.  One activity I did was to get a white board and write down all the actions I was seeing myself do or not do that prolonged anxiety based triggers. So for example, why don't I go the gym regularly: answer lack of discipline.  So here are  top words that I collected. 

Worry, laziness, self indulgence, arrogance, catastrophisation, lack of fortitude, no perserverence. All leading to avoidance.

i did I the work I needed to stop being someone completely different to who I believed I was, got up early and hit the gym etc etc. 

 

 

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@Flatworld Crusades Good tip, thanks! I like the white board idea. Something about seeing things written down out of your head objectifys them. I've just spent today going over my goals and why I'm doing the things I do. Massive trigger for me, leading to avoidance is fear of sucess!!

I relate to a lot of those concepts you mentioned especially self indulgance and no perseverance. Sounds like you have benefitted from this approach. 

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@Surfingthewave fear of success, that sucks. I've never dealt with that. Good luck. 

Yep, I really did benefit from the approach, although it took quite some time.

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