Feeling embarrassed to return :') but i want to let go and be that which i am

[David Hammond]

On 4/26/2019 at 3:08 PM, Aakash said:

since i left i've actually had such a lot of growth! that i decided that its time to completely drop my beliefs. so i came back having started the letting go process  

I've learnt about self- acceptance, unconditional love, that all "perceptions" are EQUALLY as bullshit and truthful simultaneously EVEN spiritual beliefs 

that change is letting go of your perspective you hold and being able to accept another perspective as equally truthful 

I've learnt that acceptance is love! and to accept reality as it is and not with my need for my ego to manipulate reality to be any different 

THAT includes myself 

not needing to need muscles, to pick up women 

not needing to have events go in any other way than they are 

not needing my parents to think about me in any way specifically 

its like in my subconscious i'm trying to mind control them to specifically think of me in a certain way! i couldn't believe how sneaky i am 

but in truth i should actually love the fact and accept that maybe they think i'm crazy lol 

but instead of me trying to manipulate their perspection 

the reality is i should leave it up to them to take responsibility for their reality 

alot of the times we project reality onto others almost instantly and not recognise that things are always perfect as they are 

but the biggest thing i have learnt is 

THAT I AM PERFECT 

I AM PERFECT EXACTLY THE WAY I AM, 

AND SO ARE YOU 

i don't want either of us to be any different to how we are,

I don't want the world to be any different to how it already is 

why? because instead of rejecting it and trying to manipulate it from my own perspective 

i'm only here to love it as it is exactly as it is poverty, homelessness, rape, murder, terrorism , racism, are only concepts of the minds by peoples beliefs, although they might be seeing things as good and bad! they aren't wrong but only relatively, you have to accept their viewpoint and transcend it to realise everything is perfect, everything is love and everything is ultimately you 

But i'm stuck on my contemplation 

I AM PERFECT 

HOWEVER, am i perfect whilst i have an ego or am i perfect when i don't have an ego ? 

my answer is i am perfect when i am able to love, because as an ego you still carry beliefs that are unable to let you love reality exactly as it, you always want change whether its to yourself or reality... "i want to become more sprititual", "i want to meditate more" , "i want to find true love" it never ends, any desire you have is an inability to self accept yourself completely and accept the present moment

i managed to go on a self-discovery process and realise the reason i want to become enlightened, i want to become enlightened because i want to be able to accept anything and everything and love it, love is my why.  

?✌ welcome back buddy. Good Lord it didn't take you long to work out your worldly desires.

[thesmileyone]

I'm thinking of leaving the forum too. I have been deleting my presence from everywhere lately, reddit, quora, etc. I still have Facebook but zero friends and just use it for groups but have left all of the spiritual ones too.

I am thinking along the lines that spiritual discussion just leads to procrastination and confusion. That time could be better spent meditating or doing something constructive.

I will be doing shrooms in Q3 of this year and I don't even think it is logical to share the psychedelic experience, because people will interpret it differently and people tend to preach what experiences mean which may or may not be accurate at all.

The only thing that slightly concerns me with my further dropping out from communicating with others is that I already have zero friends, zero social activity (out of choice, in fact yesturday whilst buying food I realized how much I feel uncomfortable around humans) and by dropping out online as well is that actually healthy?

[Aakash]

@thesmileyone well its open to interpretation by each individual. however, i would ask yourself this one simple question 

TO YOU 

would you be living life to the fullest 

if the answer is yes 

then i don't see any problem

its not an issue not to be social. its just a preference really 

[thesmileyone]

Honestly my idea of living life to the fullest is living in some cabin in the middle of nowhere where I have to work to survive - growing crops, hunting meat if required, chopping firewood, etc. Ie no electricity and total isolation. But this is hardly practical.

[Aakash]

@thesmileyone why not, practicality is only a distinction and at this point in time limiting belief 

if thats honestly what you want then go for it, experience what its like and then make a decision about what you want from there 

life should be simply about striving for the best possible life that we can experience individually 

[Arhattobe]

@thesmileyone only through understanding yourself and others can you outgrow the limitations of both. Aversion and rejection of life will not work in the longer run. The middle path teaches precisely that. 

 

Good luck though : ) 

honest self reflection without groupthink could be beneficial  

[thesmileyone]

Seems wise. Thanks for all the fish.