youngshinzen

One month left to finish my thesis

50 posts in this topic

Hey,

I'm currently writing my master thesis in logistics and I have one more month to complete it. I have passed every exam and this is the only thing left. But, whenever I want to sit down, I fear the pain that arises when I write and procrastinate. If I do start to write, I get tired within a few minutes. Even if I'm completely ready and alert before, it just knocks me out. This is probably connected to my past in which I have studied under severe conditions.

It is the thing I'm most afraid of and there's a part of me that's wants me to fall. But I won't let that happen, now that I'm so close to finishing it. I already have 20 pages and need about 50 more. I have notes that will probably lead to 20-30 additional pages once I process them and add stuff.

I just have to start and work on it daily. I don't like to make myself dependent of others, but this time I really need help. If you just let me know you're here watching what I do, supporting and giving advice, I would be very grateful.

If I achieve something or not, I will do document it here on a daily basis.

Wish me luck?

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STATUS QUO

Technqiues for motivation

1. Guided Meditation

Two weeks ago, my therapist did a guided meditation with me to feel the future sensation of finishing this task deeply in the present moment. I sat down, closed my eyes and she told me to imagine being in a cinema that plays the movie of " @youngshinzen submits his thesis":

I was seated right next to the knob that controls the curtains and starts the movie. I felt the texture of the red, round knob and slowly tilted it to the side. The curtains opened up and the intro with the previously mentioned title started. I saw myself walking to my university with two editions of my thesis in a bordeaux cover, the sun is shining. I seem a bit exhausted, but also energized and happy. I go to the service department and proudly place the thesis on their desk. After an uplifting conversation about the relief I go outside, with my chest out and open, feeling the FREEDOM and clarity in front of me. I smell flowers, sense the people's happiness (I project onto them?) and feel the lust to buy a huge ice cream. While eating I prepare for a trip."

Then I'm being asked to communicate with my future self, who has accomplished finishing the thesis. What would he tell me? Here are the notes:

  • Trust in yourself.
  • Have as much fun as possible.
  • Show others your small achievements on the way and be proud of them.
  • Surround yourself with positivity.

I will connect to these aspects everyday and also feel the sensations.

2. Scheduling thesis-appointments and making a reinforcement-plan

I scheduled two hours in the morning and one hour in the afternoon. The therapist said that this is optimal in regards to the biorhythm. Everytime I achieve one day of studying focused for these three hours, I get a point. 6 points (one week, one day break) lead to having a special event as a treat (sauna, shopping, etc.)

3. Various positive thinking patterns

  • I've doubted myself oftentimes and always made it through
  • I will be an example for others that it is possible to overcome obstacles like these
  • I want to experience the whole thing

Habits:

These are already implemented, some are fresh (OMAD, early exercise). I'll document if changes occur:

  • No-Fap
  • Keto-Diet
  • One meal a day
  • Structure: wake up early, exercise 30min HIIT, cold shower, study, eat, (sleep), study, meditate (1h)

Vision board:

InShot_20190416_210606273.jpg

Edited by youngshinzen

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2 hours ago, youngshinzen said:

I just have to start and work on it daily. I don't like to make myself dependent of others, but this time I really need help. If you just let me know you're here watching what I do, supporting and giving advice, I would be very grateful.

Yes definitely, good luck. Getting a Masters is a huge accomplishment and it seems you're so close!

Keep us posted,,,,  ?‍♂️


"To have a free mind is to be a universal heretic." - A.H. Almaas

"We have to bless the living crap out of everyone." - Matt Kahn

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@Zigzag Idiot Thank you! I'll do that.

28daysleft:

  • worked for one hour in the afternoon
  • sat down crosslegged on the couch, lifted my pelvis and kept my back straight
  • had a nap before, felt determined and energized
  • converted my notes, added external info to it and made a graphic (≈2pages)
  • during this hour I felt inner tension and muscular tension in the back increase, breath was shallow, had to let it flow consciously
  • one hour seemed perfect, after that it would probably start to exhaust me
Edited by youngshinzen

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27daysleft:

  • woke up early, worked out and worked an hour on an empty stomach
  • I initially planned to write for 2 hours in the morning, but that's not possible without eating something first
  • problem is when I have my one big meal, I'm pretty tired and not as sharp as on an empty stomach
  • in the afternoon I sat down and wrote for 15 min, didn't feel good after the meal
  • in the evening I had another workout, came home, had to meditate for an hour and wrote for another 45 min 
  • for now, my daily goal is 2 hours, until I come up with a solution on when to write
  • the anxiety to write is much lower after a workout
  • whenever negative thoughts came up I immediatly went to the future where I imagine finishing the thesis and I remind myself of the vision board -> really effective, especially the ice cream and the colors that I used, somehow stimulates a feeling of celebration

 

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@LoveandPurpose That motivates me even more, glad to hear that?? Wish you success!

26days left:

  • woke up, hungry af
  • drank coffee and started to write
  • later did some emotional exhausting stuff and had one of the worst pain bodys ever
  • I was still on my way home, but my appointment started so I took out my phone and  read a book for the thesis
  • I wasn't able to make it through the whole hour, so I finished the last 30 min later on
  • process has slowed down as I have used up all notes and have to make new ones
  • currently: 30/70 pages
  • I noticed that my meditation habit comes in handy in terms of discipline and not missing an appointment
Edited by youngshinzen

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5 hours ago, youngshinzen said:

That motivates me even more, glad to hear that?? Wish you success!

<3 

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25daysleft:

  • mood is low, had to force myself
  • focus was lower but I pushed myself
  • did two hours again, started and ended on time
  • during the second hour I did some things of organising nature
  • I will add one hour daily every week, to slowly transition
  • I gotta figure out an optimized way of what and when to eat, has lots of impact

 

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On 4/16/2019 at 0:21 PM, youngshinzen said:

It is the thing I'm most afraid of and there's a part of me that's wants me to fall.

This is a common dynamic for many graduate students. My last 30 days I was hyper-focused. My mantra was "seal the deal". Everyday, focused on that goal and each day doing everything I could do to inch closer to it. Crossing the finish line is amazing.

You got this.

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You can do it brother @youngshinzen

For real, you can do it. And YOU WILL!

The last 30 days were the hardest for me too. We're behind you!! ??


The art is to look without looking 

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24daysleft:

  • disappointed because of the side effects of the diet,  I went back to fast food
  • body was lethargic, mood was low, but I completed my two appointments
  • I realized that my focus was way too much on theory and I have to start working on the practical part immediately 
  • feeling overwhelmed
  • I‘ll probably to 3-4 hours right in the morning and see how that goes

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@youngshinzen Now you know for the remaining 23 days what not to do! So let go of the past and push through, tomorrow will be a brand new, fresh day. Let's get this bread. B|

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@LoveandPurpose Thanks!

23daysleft:

  • woke up later than usual and only had a few minutes left until my daily appointment started
  • I just stayed in bed, took my phone and started to read my literature
  • probably the best way for me to work through literature: using adobe reader, reading a paragraph, making a note on the side of it and using the dictate-function
  • this way I can some up the text in my own words verbally
  • after a while I can sum up parts of the text fluently, which makes me confident that I‘m back to my old skills after taking mood stabilizers for a few years
  • so I did one hour in the morning and decided to push the second hour all the way to the end of the day, so that the length of the break inbetween is maximized (this sentence shows that I'm right in the process of a scientific paper?)
  • The second hour was pretty effortless too, because I translated my experience with meditation to reading this literature: it‘ll take one hour, no matter what. I‘m letting go, even if I don‘t understand the sentence, I‘ll read it again and again, no pressure. My mind can wander, but I have to hold this text in my hand until the hour is over.
  • this approach really helped to avoid tension in my heart area

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Hey 22daysleft:

  • studied outside in the sun early in the morning
  • it's so convenient to use the phone and dictate notes
  • Without the pressure to achieve something I have much more capacity to understand the text
  • basically none of the habits are implemented anymore, I ate whatever I wanted to and didn‘t go to the gym
  • but the holidays are over and I can buy keto food again, so I‘ll get back to that
  • because of the carbs I ate I was pretty tired and not focused during the second hour, but I let go and read the text in my tempo
Edited by youngshinzen

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21daysleft: 

  • My plan was to take a break once a week and reward myself
  • shopping was not the best idea, as it was stressful, but combined with a hard workout and relaxation afterwards it was a nice contrast
  • I‘ll plan something more creative and fun for the next time
  • I‘m raising the amount of daily hours from 2 to 3
Edited by youngshinzen

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20daysleft:

  • somehow pushed through and did the three hours
  • fear kicked in again when I didn‘t know how to continue

19daysleft:

  • ate some cake and couldn‘t get out of bed, slowly need to get back to healthy food as it destroys my discipline
  • I pushed the appointments back and told myself I‘ll do it in the evening
  • then I had a migraine attack and I still have strong headaches as I‘m typing this
  • I‘ll try to sleep and hope that tomorrow will be more successful

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18daysleft:

  • had to start writing on a new topic again and felt insecure
  • when I sat down it was overwhelming and I got tired immediately 
  • I just sat there looking at the screen, my eyes slowly closed and in this almost dream-state I processed fears
  • After half an hour of not being able to overcome this tiredness, I layed down and slept
  • I got stuck many times before and made it through successfully, but it didn‘t change the state to remember that
  • But this time I feel more like an observer of a pattern
  • so I did 1,5h instead of 3, still a success

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