EmptyInside

The Emptiness of Being

23 posts in this topic

One of the things that I find myself struggling with again and again is not necessarily facing the emptiness of being but the loneliness that tries to creep back in when I start to realize how few people are able to relate with the importance of solitude and doing the inner work. That's why I really appreciate this video: 

This is exactly the challenge that I face now. I don't have a large family. I'm not married. I don't have any kids. I don't have a significant other. Don't need one. I use social media sparingly. I'm a former programmer. I now work 20 hours per week in the mental health field and spend the rest of my time working on myself (by myself) as much as possible. I live a very minimalist life and have discovered a great deal of internal wealth in the process. But to be honest, even though I have made peace with solitude and practice facing the emptiness daily and practice experiencing being, there are times when I want to connect with others who are further along in the process. In person, that's looking less likely by the day. Online, maybe. I know there are some. They are hard to find. That neediness to connect with others that I'm observing in myself is counter to embracing the emptiness of being, and it comes and it goes, but it returns. I've started drastically limiting my social media use. It has become depressing to see how many people are completely offline inwardly as they immerse themselves online outwardly in non-stop dick and fart jokes or airy fairy spiritual memes. I know that sounds like a judgmental thing to say but that's how it feels. The more I work on myself, the more I feel less of a connection on those deeper levels with others, and I know that's part of the process, but Leo's right, it does get lonely. I'm not trying to condescend. I know it's fear that they are dealing with and that they are so terrified of sitting alone with themselves that they distract themselves endlessly and never begin to look inward. I was like that for a long time. I still need some distraction too but it does get lonely when you realize that there are very few who can appreciate the importance of solitude. It's a total paradox, but I actually feel less alone when I'm all alone than I do when I'm interacting with people who are operating on low consciousness levels which is almost everyone I know with the exception of just a couple of people who I have run into online. Can anyone relate?


"It can't be that lame, you know?" Terence McKenna

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Maybe it's all nonsense and naturally we are sociable animals? Who knows. What you resist, persists and all that...

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I think we are wired for human connection but there's a balance there, at least for me. Yeah, I love Jung too. He talked about solitude a lot.


"It can't be that lame, you know?" Terence McKenna

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@EmptyInside yes i can totally relate.  And it sucks that there are no high conscious people that we know other than online.  Because we do not want to fall back into doing low conscious stuff just because thats all there is around us.

So we have to continue to do the inner work and be vigilant.  But i totally relate.  It's easy to fall back into the dream and do dream stuff.  However once you awake you are forever altered so there is this invisible fence between you and the rest of the world around you.  You can partake in mundane stuff but you are also conscious at the same time that this is just an illusion and that being is prior to all of it.

I get a deeper sense of piece now being by myself doing conscious work than anything else..anything else can be enjoyable to an extent but it has a shallowness or a hollowness to it now. 

Having other awoken beings physically in your life really isn't going to help that much because spirituality is really done alone anyway.  Maybe meditating with Peter Ralston or the buddha by your side might be cool at first but its still the same hollowness.

 


 

Wisdom.  Truth.  Love.

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@Inliytened1 Good to meet you. Great feedback and thanks for the suggestions. These feelings of loneliness remind me of Lao Tzu's words from the Tao Te Ching:

"The path into the light seems dark,
the path forward seems to go back..."

Paradox within paradox. I see why people don't want to do the work. Emptiness can be a very difficult and sometimes frightening thing to face. I'm not saying that I've mastered it, but I'm practicing. Some days I'm at peace with it. Others, not so much. I'm glad I found this forum. I'm sure it will help on my needy days.

Edited by EmptyInside

"It can't be that lame, you know?" Terence McKenna

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@EmptyInside Yeah man i've been going through this for a couple years now.

When my grandma passed away in 2016 i retreated into solitude to make sure she wasn't really gone.

I started meditating everyday and just "BE"ing took over my day to day live. It was great.. i had gotten my Strong Determination Sits upwards of 57 minutes and that solitude was beautiful beyond explanation.

It sure is eye opening when you see how attached people are to being constantly online, seeking validation, etc... the ego games are endless.. but when you discover SOLITUDE and you make peace with it.. wow... 

Just know this; you're not alone on this process. There are lots of people following this solo path, although they are hard to spot in comparison to people running around constantly playing ego games.

Enjoy the stillness and keep going. 

Edited by Sahil Pandit

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@Sahil Pandit Well said my friend. I'm happy to hear about your progress and thank you for the words of encouragement. Glad to meet you. 


"It can't be that lame, you know?" Terence McKenna

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Hmm I didn't intend that. Had a break in Internet, rural area.

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"Absorbed in "Thou art This,"
I found the place of Wine.
There all the jars are filled,
but no one is left to drink."

 
Lalleshwari: a female mystic and Sufi saint.

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@EmptyInside Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. I also live alone and can relate to the emotions / experiences you describe. I used to group all the emotions into "emptiness / loneliness", yet as I've observed body sensations, I've noticed some nuances between the emotions.

1. Generic loneliness: sometimes my mind-body gets uncomfortable, bored and discouraged being alone. The mind may think things like "why don't I have more friends? Maybe I should go out more and try to be social. Chuck and Stacey look so happy together, maybe I'd be happier if I lived with someone". 

2. Then there is a deeper loneliness and a yearning to connect deeply with someone. To really open up and explore who we are and bond. To share depth of experience - not the trivial noise of the rat race of life. I've felt this more as I've gone deeper into consciousness work. There are less people I can connect with. I've searched in my area for a year and found one person I can talk to this about. This type of loneliness is more of a deep sadness. I may have a profound insight and there is no one in my life who would understand. There is a profound yearning to connect on these deeper insight levels. I've tried to bring people along, like a gf, and it doesn't work. It's sort of like seeing the most amazing sunset of your life and wishing someone could appreciate and share it's beauty with me.

3. Then there is what I would call true emptiness. The stuff buddhists, mystics and spiritualists speak of. This transcends the above two forms of loneliness. This is an absolute emptiness that comes prior to all descriptions and emotions. Some people call it stillness, peace, bliss, nothingness. This is independent of external conditions. It transcends all. It is present whether I am alone or with someone.

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@EmptyInside Practically speaking, there’s no need to sacrifice being with people in an exchange of sorts for being alone, or in solitude, or due to “higher consciousness”. Classic both solution. On a great note, these are all conceptual and can be realized. Existentially, truth wise - you are literally never, ever, alone - unless you’re conceptualizing that too (easy to tell by how it feels). As far as finding other people in the flesh to talk with and get to know, take a reiki, meditation, or yoga class. You’d be surprised. Also, if you just want someone to talk with about the path, ask questions, etc, I’m happy to. 


MEDITATIONS TOOLS  ActualityOfBeing.com  GUIDANCE SESSIONS

NONDUALITY LOA  My Youtube Channel  THE TRUE NATURE

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@who chit  I've never heard that quote before. I like it. Good to meet you.

@Serotoninluv  Thank you for sharing your observations. Very helpful. It seems like I'm cycling between #2 "like seeing the most amazing sunset of your life and wishing someone could appreciate and share it's beauty with me" and #3 "stillness, peace, bliss, nothingness" though #3 only seems to happen for me when I'm in solitude. I'll keep practicing. Good to meet you.

@Nahm  You're right. The word "alone" is part of the problem. Thank you for pointing out that block. Those are great suggestions and I appreciate the offer. I may take you up on that. I feel like I have come to the right place on this forum. Good to meet you.


"It can't be that lame, you know?" Terence McKenna

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@EmptyInside It’s good to meet you. I hope you get as much out the forum as you can.     And if you’re feeling alone, it really is only in thought, as God is always with you, and big love is always pointed directly right at you. Later when you’re self realized, there’s no conception of loneliness anymore, because the falsity in the thinking of it is completely realized and seen through. 


MEDITATIONS TOOLS  ActualityOfBeing.com  GUIDANCE SESSIONS

NONDUALITY LOA  My Youtube Channel  THE TRUE NATURE

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46 minutes ago, who chit said:

"Absorbed in "Thou art This,"
I found the place of Wine.
There all the jars are filled,
but no one is left to drink."

 
Lalleshwari: a female mystic and Sufi saint.

Powerful quote. Not a Sufi,looking on Wikipedia.

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@EmptyInside Sounds like you just need to go out and meet some spiritual people. It's not so hard. Spiritual communities exist everywhere.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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@Leo Gura  Thank you for the advice and for the years of hard work you have put into actualized.org and your amazing video library. You have been a tremendous help. I will do more looking around locally for spiritual people. You're right. They're out there. This forum has been a great start. Good to meet you.

Edited by EmptyInside

"It can't be that lame, you know?" Terence McKenna

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1 hour ago, RichardY said:

Powerful quote. Not a Sufi,looking on Wikipedia.

Osho mentioned her in one of his writings and I thought the same thing,so I looked for more of her quotes and found this site if interested.
https://www.poemhunter.com/lalleshwari/ . 

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