Skipping the ‘Pickup’ phase

[JohnnyBravo]

The ark angel goes against God (the whole).

The whole is flowing one way. The ark angel is threatened and says "I will go the other way."

Arkangelo.......Go out and fall in love.

[Shin]

27 minutes ago, Arcangelo said:

My mom told me from the very beginning: -''Son, happiness does not exist. The only things that exist are happy moments'' She could/should have added: -''Just make sure to have more happy moments than unhappy ones''

Pick up gives me happy moments, in the sense that i feel that i did everything in my power to achieve certain goal.

Pick up gives me happy moments, because it is an adventure.

Pick up gives me happy moments because it makes me feel alive.

Pick up gives me happy moments, because when i am afraid to go talk to a girl but i do it anyways i feel like a real fucking man. That's the best.

And so on and so on....

 

Don't you think there is a deeper problem if after all those years you're still afraid of women ?

Edited March 24, 2019 by Shin

[Arcangelo]

Maybe afraid is not the right word. The right term is approach anxiety.

 

[Shin]

33 minutes ago, Arcangelo said:

Maybe afraid is not the right word. The right term is approach anxiety.

 

How many years of pick up ?

[Arcangelo]

32

When i was 7 years old i used to wink my eye to teacher Jenny. She told my mom. I have no memory of doing it. So i have been doing pick up even before i have use of reason.

It's the way i live, and have always lived.

 

[bejapuskas]

3 hours ago, Lynnel said:

Last thing, let me bloooow your mind :

I just hate the idea of using and controlling people, especially girls. I know how emotional they are.

Oh no. You would LOVE it. Of course you would. Simply blue conditionning is stopping you. You would not be averse to the idea otherwise. When you evolve to higher stages you'll realize it's perfectly fine and you will choose not to do it out of compassion.

Before compassion the whole morality gig is just a neurotic virus.

Have you ever been controlled by someone? It sucks shit. You don't have to be that developed to spot toxic selfishness. Accept, that some people are compassionate. I believe that you can do pickup without manipulating.

Edited March 24, 2019 by bejapuskas

[nistake]

I've just recently came to the realization that I cannot skip the pickup phase. Thing is, I've got like virtually zero experience with girls and when I got into the self-development stuff, I was really reluctant to make the emotionally difficult decisions. Basically, I convinced myself that I didn't need to deal with girls, I could be happy alone and I didn't need this whole pickup thing (which is true but I think only at higher levels of consciousness). So I stayed in my convenient comfort zone, where nothing exciting happens, and went for the enlightenment stuff. Filled myself with theory and started practising meditation, self-inquiry, etc. It was like straight-up spiritual bypass.

After a while, it bit me in the ass and it was painful (still is). It feels like I've got a huge hole in me and I can't fill it no matter how much I meditate and practise spiritual stuff. Before that can happen, I need to solve my basic self-esteem and confidence issues. This may sound selfish, but I also want to get some experience with girls because that has always been missing in my life.

[flowboy]

17 hours ago, Lynnel said:

Oh boy.

Remember : the usual critique of pick up is simply stage blue conditioning.

You know why pick up is found creepy ? Because in blue patriarcal societies women are treated as commodities. You're a strong man, you go to war, you have of this going for you - of course you can just fucking grab a girl and get her to marry you. Lord. From this perspective pick up looks as if you were training yourself to grab a piece of cheesecake on the table - of fucking course it sounds creepy as fuck.

Don't be confused here : most society is still built on blue conditionning and very neurotic morals with repressed sexuality. Nonetheless some core value such as strong manhood have mostly detiriorated and have had trouble evolving into higher stages. Still, the conditionning is extremely intense : there is still a LOT of blue in your societies.

Leo's critique of pick up is coming from a very high perspective which is most likely completely irrelevant for most of this forum.

Skipping stages does not work because you're simply lying to yourself and you're gonna be miserable.

No one nowadays want to get girls because it hurts to be rejected, basically you just find excuses to avoid pain : due to becoming a better man, figuring out your conditionning, etc.

Everyone will just mentally masturbate about how this or that - and never get laid. Excuses are easy.

Like oh my god my life would be actually so much worse if I got to experience sex with a model oh my god like horrible all my spiritual pursuits are doomed forever !

For god's sake : solve your basic needs. Most of people aren't even going to reach turquoise in their lifetimes so focus on getting to the next stage first and don't worry about advanced spiritual shit after. Leo should actually have warning's about that because he's so advanced it's actually impossible to really grasp from an average standpoint how advanced he actually is.

Last thing, let me bloooow your mind :

Oh no. You would LOVE it. Of course you would. Simply blue conditionning is stopping you. You would not be averse to the idea otherwise. When you evolve to higher stages you'll realize it's perfectly fine and you will choose not to do it out of compassion.

Before compassion the whole morality gig is just a neurotic virus.

Powerful answer. Wow! I felt this in my bones.

Interesting to see the blue in people acting up in defense

[Lynnel]

On 24/03/2019 at 9:07 PM, bejapuskas said:

Have you ever been controlled by someone? It sucks shit. You don't have to be that developed to spot toxic selfishness. Accept, that some people are compassionate. I believe that you can do pickup without manipulating.

Yes, I'm not saying to become a rampant douche and go destroy people's lives.

What is commonly called "manipulation" is totaly "normal" such as in "you" trying to stay alive - and to a great extent everything you are doing is manipulation in a form or another to fulfill your needs.

Manipulation is something very basic and commonplace. Manipulation being something extremely machiavellian when you destroy half of the world trying to get all the cash and all the girls and plot complexe scheme to outsmart all of your opponents mainly happens in movies.

Calling manipulation "evil" is yet another blue thing because you have to be honest and hardworking, of course.

Yes, being honest is actually great, being compassionate is extremely amazing. You get absolutely disgusted with anything which is also not benefiting others in the long run. But that has to come from an authentic place. Otherwise it will fly out of the window once you have a great opportunity to realize your egoic needs.

In short :

You can do pickup without manipulating such as in : avoid lying to girls to get laid faster and stupid shit like this / lacking integrity in general.

You cannot avoid manipulation when interacting with other people and improving yourself (by motivating yourself to go out and becoming a better man).

I mean self-development to some extent is you manipulating yourself to become better as a person so you can fulfill your needs (happiness, confidence, etc) 

[bejapuskas]

@Lynnel  That sounds like such over-generalizing, it kinda smells to me take look at everything as if it was some kind of manipulation, even though it is partically correct. I never called manipulation evil, I just tend to avoid people who need to manipulate others, being dishonest etc (in the harmful way) to fulfill their egoic needs.

I admit, that what I said might have sounded a bit too moralistic, but telling someone, that they would LOVE manipulating others is just too much for me at least. I understand, that one has to truly want to be authentic, compassionate, honest... I think I am getting there, everytime I become too proud or jealous or whatever in some way, it really affects my mood and meditation practice in a negative way and it doesn't actually happen consciously, I had to talk about it with my friends many times already to actually spot the problem. Thanks for showing me the unhealthy blue in me though  @flowboy

I am 15 now and I do not feel like having sex yet. But I also don't think, that I have problems with talking to girls and stuff... Sometimes some negative emotion from the past comes to the surface, but then when I am around people, it feels amazing. One of the boys, that I am looking after in my scout group asked me today: Ben, you love girls, right? I laughed so hard  

 

[Lynnel]

6 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

I am 15 now and I do not feel like having sex yet.

Ignore my advice all together then for your own sake. It's just gonna damage you pointlessly and you will lack experience to understand all the nuances either way. I mean you haven't even finished puberty yet !

You're honestly doing amazing even knowing about personnal development at 15. Go live your life and come back to this mental masturbatorium in 5-10 years

Yeah don't overthink much and develop a skill you can farm up long term. In then years, at 25, you could have your life purpose on track by then. It's like one of the best things you can do at your stage. Spirituality ? Complex conscioussness ? MEH. Like really, master one domain of life with deliberate practice, go play dota 2 in the evening instead of mentally masturbating about consciousness on the forums and you'll be good ahah.

Enjoy your life dude !

[bejapuskas]

@Lynnel  Yeh sure, thanks for advice  I am more of a LoL person though.

[tsuki]

On 23.03.2019 at 10:23 PM, Dorotheus said:

You get the idea now, okay. This is the reason most men are involved in pickup. Most of these guys are NOT pimps or sex addicts. They are wounded, insecure and very frustrated. THIS IS WHAT I WANT YOU TO GET. If these guys didnt took neurotic action they would die a virgin. 

@Dorotheus I get your point. Very good post.

The thing is that willingness to die a virgin is a perfect ground for a mature relationship.
So is being broken open by years of suffering in image-driven world of pickup.

You cannot outsmart genuine growth.

[RawJudah]

Did the Buddha do pickup?

Did Gandhi do pickup?

Did Jesus do pickup?

[flowboy]

@RawJudah  What, we're supposed to convince you to do pickup now?

If you don't like the answers you got from the people here, you are free to do whatever you want.

Did the Buddha go on internet forums for advice about his repressed sexual desires?

Did Gandhi go on internet forums for advice about his repressed sexual desires?

Did Jesus go on internet forums for advice about his repressed sexual desires?

 

My take is you're scared to go meet women, and would much prefer to just sit at home, meditate and physically and mentally masturbate while you compare yourself to the Buddha.

Have at it.

I'm out.

 

Edited March 28, 2019 by flowboy

[bejapuskas]

@flowboy  I mean, some people simply don't feel like banging 100 women in their lifetime, it's not a real goal for them.

@RawJudah  The guys that you named are some of the most humble people, who have ever lived. By striving to become like them, you will never become like them. (have a good life) You have to do many mistakes, fall for many traps to even come close to their wisdom. You cannot pretend real selflessness.

[flowboy]

1 hour ago, bejapuskas said:

I mean, some people simply don't feel like banging 100 women in their lifetime, it's not a real goal for them.

@bejapuskas That's true and has nothing to do with my point. I am objecting to @RawJudah asking for advice, receiving advice from dozens of people, and then arguing against it. What's the point of asking then.

[RawJudah]

@flowboy I was only joking, don't take it seriously!

I am actively swiping on tinder and have 2 dates from it, one of which bailed on me today, but it was worth the effort.

And I have been talking to some PUAs near me (London) and we will be going out as soon! 

I have been doing small things like more eye contact with people and talking to people more than just small talk (which I am getting sick of)

I am genuinely excited.

I also have this girl messaging me a lot but she has a ton of baggage, and possibly BPD, but she wants to meet tomorrow night for a date and I will happily go, knowing in the back of my head that I am not taking any of this seriously...

Thank you for all the advice guys, I have been meaning to give everyone an update so here it is!

[flowboy]

@RawJudah My sincere apologies then, I'm having a bad day because of text game trouble. Guess I couldn't see you were joking because of that.

Congratulations on your action taking! Really impressive how quickly you pulled the trigger. Exciting stuff!

[RawJudah]

@flowboy No worries! I put that first message as a way to get the more 'spiritual' perspectives on this, rather than just us guys.

I am proud of myself, but I'm pissed off. with myself. for not acting on it sooner, now I'm 25, I feel myself starting to mature mentally and seeing all this stage orange stuff as quite low. Maybe I was getting waaaaay too ahead of myself?

But now I've got the information and I'm making progress I will be doing it actively for as long as it takes, then I will concentrate more on the 'spiritual' side of life. Because that's what I'm really interested in...

Also, what's your view on Red Pill? Is it really as toxic as Leo says it is???