Being judgemental and moralising stopped me from self development

2 posts in this topic

So since I was heavily bullied in high school I enacted belief systems that made it survivable but blocked me from further development.

Such belief systems were and some still are:

  • I deserve the the physical/verbal abuse I get 
  • I am not worthy of happiness
  • Since others don't see their own biases, I will point it out for them, so that they would have a reason to hate me
  • Noone acts the way they talk, so I will do so. I will be other people's moral side. I will be the moral one in society, so I will have the right to be judgemental.

So with these rules I have set for myself I started acting judgemental and moralising. My speech became silent, I watched people to see their dark side, I became the typical last century psychologist. The one that sets up a hypothesis of childhood trauma then puts you in a cage of words where you can't evolve yourself from.

I started putting my own personal judgements at the end of every statement. I became so obsessed at my own morals that noone elses feelings or thoughts mattered for me.

One of the conversations between me and my friend could be like:

-Hey, what do you think of the new guy in the school?

-He seems cool, but I see that the way he walks is overconfident or trying to be superior, so I would not talk to him.

Another big one is using big or scientific words or adjectives cutting in the sentences of other people to show that I know what the other person is talking about. 

So now that I am absolutely sure of these biases, I will try to work on the belief systems so that I would actually be a still honest, but nice-to-be-around person.

Edited by RiseAbove
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