Mezanti

caring what people think.

11 posts in this topic

 

so leos video is pretty good when it comes to this topic, but i found that despite me knowing that i shouldn't really care what people think, i still really do, its a fundamental aspect of all my social behaviour .

it's been around 2 years since i discovered this topic, and haven't achieved any results. 

Do the daily affirmations work that leo recommends work? or are there different ways to go about handling this aspect of my life.

share your thoughts, i'm dire need of explanations, and solutions. 

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@Mezanti I struggled with this for quite some time, and still do a little bit.

For me, finding positive emotions/values i can strive for in public we're key to overcoming this.

Example, in the gym, i would strive to have an excellent workout, this motivation gave me fuel to push myself.

Another example, when talking to people, i would remind myself of my highest values, and would find a way to bring that into the conversation, so that it provided value to the other person. This could be something like finding common ground in one of our values, or sharing a perspective on something.

Being grounded in these really helped me become less in secure in public.

This response wasn't as direct as i'm assuming you are looking for, but i hope it helps. 

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Leo's pre meta-enlightemnent stage is pure gold, better than any psychologist.

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Yes at a certain level this particular video drew me to his work. Great stuff 

I’m pretty sure the video offered certain techniques am I right? The problem most people face is fantasizing about how they’d like to act but never putting in the implementations/strategies. When we are identified with one who acts a certain way in a given situation then we can’t simply change because of a desire without feeling some kind of resistance. This is where enlightenment work really comes in handy because we are no longer clinging to a specific belief system. 

Use 24/7 meditation or awareness: take it one step at a time, observe yourself in specific situation and become aware of the mechanical nature of your actions thoughts and feelings. The more conscious you become “in the moment” of these tendencies, the more space you will create for yourself and the more authentic your interactions will be 

 

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@DrewNows well, as my thoughts come up, saying "oh this person had this specific glance, i wonder what they are thinking of me, am i made out to be a fool?" and I am aware of how my emotions begin to change, but then again, i still participate in this thought process and its been 2-3 years now

Edited by Mezanti

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Yes it’s the movement of thought/self as long as you are still identified with your thoughts they will continue to run your life 

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@DrewNows

After you are enlightened you will still have the ego (where your thoughts originate) but it just becomes like a piece of clothing, you can wear it or not wear it.

in instances where you are socializing its best that you "wear" the ego, but that still means that your thoughts will be similar, your thoughts will still operate as they did before.

you have to develop your ego from an insecure ego to a healthy one, and then from there attain enlightenment.

this is what im doing, im healthifying my ego. 

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the better you understand your own beliefs the easier it is to change the ones you don’t like. Bring more inner silence to your day to day and awareness to the undesired actions. Explore what is leading you to the anxiety/fear/worry/doubt 

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