Stenne

The work Katie byron

12 posts in this topic

Is it enough to do just the worksheet to change your beliefs? I'm doing this technique for a month now buth I don't really experience changes in my behaviour... anyone else here that do the work?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@How to be wise Is pretty deep into that and I decided to give it a go after reading one of his posts. And yea it works you may not notice it straight away but it does. If you trust the process and stick with it without trying to change yourself it does work and I know that doing the work without trying to change sounds like a paradox. At one point you may notice some completely random thing you do or some obsession completely disappeared while the thing you are trying to change remains.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Stenne okay, follow this plan:

Pick one moment in your history when you felt a strong negative emotion. The further back you go, the harder it gets to do, so start with something recent, and as you become more skilled over the months, keep going back in time. 

Write the worksheet on this one time and place only. Freeze time to just a few seconds, exactly when the pain hit you. It’s very important that you keep it specific to just a few seconds in that exact time.

After writing the worksheet, take a break, and come back to it later. 

Now, for The Work. Make sure to be in a meditation posture. The Work is meditation. Close your eyes. Go back to that exact time when the emotion hit you. Make sure you stay exactly in that moment; don’t move back or forward in time.

The first question, is it true? 

In every moment, there are two ways that you are experiencing reality: direct experience or concept. Direct experience is what you experience purely from the external world, and just in that moment. Concept is everything else that is going on in your mind, the past and future. Notice that you have never directly experienced the past or future! You are always only experiencing the present moment. 

So, when you ask, is it true, you are asking: Just in that moment, is it in my direct experience? And of course, the moment we are talking about is the moment that you have frozen into, in your past. Make sure that you visualise it as strong as possible. The past and future of that moment is not in your direct experience, hence it is not true.

Meditate and visualise this for several minutes until you are ready to decide on an answer. 

If your answer is yes, go to question 2: Can I absolutely know that it is true? Again, truth is only the direct experience of the moment. Spend a few minutes and come to a conclusion. It is perfectly fine if your answer is still ‘yes’. Don’t let that bum you out. Just move onto question 3. The Work will still work, I promise.

I will post the rest on a different post a bit later... 

 


"It’s a good one, it just isn’t real.” — Byron Katie

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Stenne So, question 3: how do you react when you believe this thought?

With your eyes closed, back in that time and specific moment, think about how you react when you are believing that thought. Consider the following points:

1. How do you act in that situation?

2. How do you feel when you are believing the thought? What sensations exactly? Where does the sensation occur? Explicitly name them, and feel where you feel them? Get in touch with the fact that believing that thought really brings you stress.

Question 4: who would you be without that thought?

This is one of my favourites. Still in that moment, how will you be if you didn’t believe that thought, just in that moment. How will you feel towards the situation? How will you act differently? Bask in that for as long as you want.

Turnarounds: 

There are three turnarounds: to the self, to the other, and to the opposite.

If the statement is something like ‘he did this to me’, the turnaround to the self will be ‘I did this to me.’ Now, still visualising that moment, think of three different examples where you did it to yourself. Force your mind to come up with examples. 

The turnaround to the other will be ‘I did this to him.’ Again, find three different examples.

The turnaround to the opposite is ‘he did not do this to me’. Find three different examples.

And that’s The Work. Ideally, start with a daily practice of 20 mins at least. As you become more peaceful, and free up more energy, increase your practice time gradually.

Good luck!


"It’s a good one, it just isn’t real.” — Byron Katie

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Stenne The Work is very effective and powerfull! Follow the advise of @How to be wise . Don't expect to solve your greatest problems within a month.  

If you feel like it's not working for you (at this moment), experiment with some different techniques. In my experience, my being needs different things at different stages of self-actualization.

A selection of different techniques;

Innerchild work - my favorite  Teal Swan; the Completion Process

The Sedona Method - my favorite the Fifth Way

Letting Go by D. Hawkins - read the book on letting go of different emotions

If nothing works, try the unstuck question;

What payoff am I getting out of this positionality? What gratification, pleasure and satisfaction gives this position which I am stuck in?

If your willing to give up the payoff, then the believe can no longer substain.

The Work is still my favorite technique. But personally I can't rely on this technique alone to change my own behavior. Find out what works for you.

Good luck with your journey! 🍀

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@How to be wise ow thank you man ,

in the book loving what is she said to write down about somebody else buth the problem I'm try to tackle are beliefs like I'm not good enough for a beautiful girl or to get a better job , better life etc. Or beliefs like I can't realy change because of...  I also do meditation for an hour a day buth that don't really help me to realy change the way that I think.  shouldn't I write the 4 question on paper so that my mind don't disturb the process? 

@Rebec thx! I think I'm gonna buy the book on the sedona method to experience whit that.

wich wil help me to most for bettering my self esteem and confidence you think?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Stenne Well, it’s best to do the Work on situations and people that trigger you emotionally/past events that triggered you. If you do that for a few months, you’re self-esteem will boost. 

Notice that self-esteem problems were all created from bad experiences you had in the past. Focus on those situations. The self-esteem will heal after that.


"It’s a good one, it just isn’t real.” — Byron Katie

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Stenne Indeed. I did all the techniques that Leo recommends in the past, but none came even close to the results with The Work. 

To see if it is right for you, use my plan above and do a daily practice for one month. If you’re still seeing no results, then consider looking for a better technique.

Edited by How to be wise

"It’s a good one, it just isn’t real.” — Byron Katie

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
21 hours ago, Stenne said:

wich wil help me to most for bettering my self esteem and confidence you think?

I can't recommend any, because those are by yourself created limited believes in your mind. No book will give you those results. 

It's a willingness of yourself to 'wanting to let go of believes'. And a journey to allow yourself to let go of any grief, anger and all the suffering and learned behavior from your childhood. 

If you choose to do 'the Work', don't expect it will be easy to let go of all your self esteem issues at once. It's hard (mental) work, this can take months, a whole load of supressed and repressed pain will come up and you need to go over and over it, untill you solve it at the root cause, before it will let go for good. 'The Work' works because it will help you to do this is in set format. Which will help you not to wander of to some other thing.

If it was true that there is a solution for self esteem issues out there, everybody would be confident right now. Just like if there is a diet which will make people skinny for life, we would know. But there are still fat people, because it's a hard  process. And yes, you can overcome this, but it will takes a lot of commitment and practice. Think of how much time you think it will take to solve your issues and then multiply by 10 or 20 times. So much time will it actually take.

Before buying books, check YouTube vids on the techniques, like the fifth way Sedona Method; 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now