Truth Addict

It was not a dream

27 posts in this topic

I just woke up from a dream that didn't feel like a dream at all.
It felt something like a bad psychedelic trip (I don't know, but I think so).
I still feel a tightness feeling in my chest and high pressure in the top of my head.
I don't remember how it started, but I remember that I was sitting in my room, and then suddenly, and out of nowhere, death came in.
The thought of Allah punishing me for not being a good Muslim popped up instantly.
And the nightmare began..
I was being held from my hair and spinned around in a circle, getting faster and faster. Or, that's how I felt like anyways.
I accepted that punishment, and let go. Then it stopped for a while.
A man with no head (I didn't see the head, cuz I didn't dare to look), came closer to me and started beating me up and throwing me around on the ground. (kind of weird, cuz I never imagined Allah to be a man since I was a little kid, when my parents first told me about Allah).
Then another thought popped up: maybe that's the Devil trying to prevent me from seeing Allah.
I accepted that, and I refused to fight back, I surrendered.
He held me up again from my hair and stared to spin me around again, and this time I noticed hearing screaming voices, which I thought are my inner demons burning.
The "spinning" occured many times, and every time it would get stronger and then stop for a while, unil the last time when I surrendered myself completely to it, it stopped altogether.
Then as the "spinning" was going to occur again, I remembered a girl I once loved. She was so pure and innocent as she is in reality. While I felt the love for her, it protected me from the torture.
And then the dream-experience ended, right until now.
...
Now I'll list a few points and lessons for me:
- It was certainly not a dream, I was awake the whole time but I refused to stop it. It's something like sleep paralysis, if I moved my fingers it would immediately stop, I'm used to that.
- I had a dream a week ago, and I saw the Devil. That was certainly a dream, and the Devil was red and had horns, we had an argument, he was trying to convince me of doing something I don't remember, and I was refusing, and aware not to be deluded, I succeeded back then.
- I now see how hard it is to deconstruct beliefs, I don't believe that Allah or the Devil are some kind of human-like creatures, or, apparently I still do, deep down.
- I still believe in death, although I waited for death to occur during the "spinning", but I noticed that I was always there, steady, while the whole world was spinning around.
- Fear wasn't the major theme of the dream. It was something like unsatisfaction.
- Funny thing is, I remember that when Allah came to me as a headless man, I tried to prepare answers for the questions I assumed that He would ask me. Like: why didn't you believe in me? My response was: you didn't give a clear sign. He would reply: I gave you clear signs but you were blind, I reply: but you created me exactly how you wanted me to be and I didn't really have a choice, and then He seemed convinced but still not gonna stop punishing me. Now I appreciate how hard it is to deconstruct old beliefs, or maybe they're just surfacing because of the practices or from cutting my addictions.
- I don't seem to have any negative thoughts or feelings, just the tightness feeling in my chest and the high pressure in the top of my head, both of which I do accept and I didn't and still don't even want or care to get rid of.
- I'm still experiencing something like light consistent euphoria, since almost a week ago. So I guess this could be an ego backlash.
...
Thank you for reading if you did, and I would really appreciate it if you give any insights on this.

Edited by Truth Addict

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dreams are weird, but also quite revealing. I had a similar dream once or twice, years ago. And well, it also involved a devil or demon trying to kill me or torture... But long story short, at the end of the dream I realized that I wasn't afraid of death, even now, because I don’t believe in death. So now I live my life somewhat fearlessly. 

Any way I really don’t know what your dream is suppose to mean but maybe you can figure it out since it's personal to you. My advice is try to reflect on it with 100% sincerity, don't try to make things relatable if they aren't or look for things that are not there. focus on actuality, like your feelings and changes in your psyche. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Victor Mgazi

Thank you.

Yeah, I'm trying my best not to delude myself. I don't suppose my dreams must have meanings, but this one in particular felt very differently from normal dreams, because I was conscious the whole time.

I just wanted to hear other views about that, so thank you again :x

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It your belives are coming up. You were worned that's the battle.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
24 minutes ago, tedens said:

It your belives are coming up. You were worned that's the battle.

Okay, thanks. What is your advice then?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Consider the possibility that there is no boundaries between dreams and what you're experiencing right now.

The thing that says this was a dream (judged non-existent) and this is real must be investigated.

 


God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, Mikael89 said:

For some reason these "gods" love to torment us. A similar thing has happened to me too. But it was the christian "god" instead. Or maybe it was the "devil" or something similar..

You are all of them.

You like drama so much that you purposefully forgot this.

What a drama queen !


God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Mikael89 said:

@Truth Addict You seem very calm, considering what happened.

That's just an idea. In my direct experience it wasn't me.

Ofc it isn't, how could you continue to create drama if you knew you're doing it to yourself ?

There needs to be an «other» to feels something is wrong ?


God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@tedens thank you so much :x

@Shin @Shadowraix no, I know that all distinctions are mind-made-up (practical distinctions), how would we communicate and share our thoughts in a way other than that? But thanks for pointing that out to me anyways ?

I'll look into my judgements about dreams.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
31 minutes ago, Mikael89 said:

For some reason these "gods" love to torment us. A similar thing has happened to me too. But it was the christian "god" instead. Or maybe it was the "devil" or something similar..

@Mikael89 that's exactly my point of the original post. The question is: how do I deconstruct my deep rooted beliefs?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Truth Addict said:

@Mikael89 that's exactly my point of the original post. The question is: how do I deconstruct my deep rooted beliefs?

Don't fear to let them out, and just look at them without judging them.


God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just back to them and realise the present moment then realise what most propably the right moment or that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
17 minutes ago, Truth Addict said:

@tedens thank you so much :x

@Shin @Shadowraix no, I know that all distinctions are mind-made-up (practical distinctions), how would we communicate and share our thoughts in a way other than that? But thanks for pointing that out to me anyways ?

I'll look into my judgements about dreams.

Get to that point, this is when the nightmare/dream begins ???

 

 

Edited by Shin

God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Shin thank you man :x my original post was the right action.

Just now, tedens said:

Just back to them and realise the present moment then realise what most propably the right moment or that.

@tedens I do this all the time, but I still don't know. I realised that it's one thing, but what is this thing?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Try to feelin in them and find out how it corelate to the present feelings.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

Ground yourness in present moment.

Edited by tedens

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now