Pilgrim

How to get a boyfriend

49 posts in this topic

@Leo Gura So should you leave the ego alone, not working on your personality (e.g. reading the 6 pillars) and solve the problem by the root with consciousness work? Or are both useful?

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2 hours ago, LoveandPurpose said:

@Leo Gura So should you leave the ego alone, not working on your personality (e.g. reading the 6 pillars) and solve the problem by the root with consciousness work? Or are both useful?

Both, it's an excuse to stay inconscious to ignore one.


God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

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11 hours ago, Privet said:

Don't give yourself time to love yourself. Do it now!

How? :) I really want to and I am getting better at this, I don't hate myself at all.. I like myself for the most part, but I don't fully accept myself either. I still want to "improve" myself.. how can I love myself and accept myself fully with all my weaknesses? How can I love EVERYTHING about myself not only the good parts? 

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Passion for others, disspasion for yourself. That's the key to accepting yourself.

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@Pilgrim What I tried to point you towards is that you find faults in yourself instead and act as if those men had some special powers just because they are quiet and thoughtful. Most men are quiet and thoughtful. Why is being quiet and thoughtful any better than being vibrant and energetic? In both cases these attributes are mere characteristics! 

Try not revealing too much about yourself at once. Let your energies speak with each other instead. ;) 

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13 hours ago, Pilgrim said:

How? :) I really want to and I am getting better at this, I don't hate myself at all.. I like myself for the most part, but I don't fully accept myself either. I still want to "improve" myself.. how can I love myself and accept myself fully with all my weaknesses? How can I love EVERYTHING about myself not only the good parts? 

Was my previous message not enough?

If so, no boyfriend will ever make you believe in yourself if you are not willing to allow it.

I listed several reasons why you can't believe in yourself in my previous messages and instead of putting an effort to grasp that you keep repeating that you don't believe that you are enough already for no reason.

Keep persisting, stubborn kid. Ain't gonna fight with your irrational self-sabotage. :P

Pew! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ︻╦╤─ <3

Edited by Privet

 

 

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@Pilgrim

I am no expert.

But, I think you should try other modes of being a girl, you know what I'm talking about. I think there's something you're missing, because deep down you think that being "nice" is the best mode to be in as a girl.

So, for example, try "not listening well" to the guy you're dating and see how that'll work on him. Or try maybe changing the subject of the conversation on purpose ( just to experience) 

Being always "nice" gives the impression that you are too needy or at least that you value others more than you value yourself, and the partner always wants independence on the other partner side. They want to see true genuine value on your part. That applies to both genders.

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UPDATE: When I posted this, I was afraid of never finding a boyfriend and feeling fundamentally flawed deep down. I thought it had to do with me, because I was seemingly never able to make it work. I now met an awesome guy and I still can't believe that really happened. He is amazing and we just click so naturally. I realised it had to do with a pattern of mine and that I was just attracted to the wrong kind of guys. Also I think everyone is potentially compatible with multiple people, however there are people who are compatible with a higher number of people. Whereas for me, I am not compatible with that many people.. of course there is not only one possible person for me either.. but I feel very fortunate to have met at least this one, because I can sense it's rare.. and there just simply aren't many people like him out there. Before that (because I didn't meet anyone like him) I was stuck with the "normal" guys.. and they just don't fit to me and I don't fit to them. I tried to adjust myself and make myself "normal" as well.. but ultimately that can never work when you deny your true nature. With this guy I can be completely myself, I don't feel like I have to censor myself, or that he wouldn't understand certain things.. I can be vulnerable with him and I never really had that before. I wonder where it's going from here and I hope I don't idealise him too much, but my intuition tells me this could be a life partner. It just feels very mature. I just wanted to post this update here, cause I believe many people think it has to do with "them", when in fact there are always two sides.  

On 18.2.2019 at 9:02 PM, Truth Addict said:

Being always "nice" gives the impression that you are too needy or at least that you value others more than you value yourself, and the partner always wants independence on the other partner side. They want to see true genuine value on your part. That applies to both genders.

On a side note: this is totally true as well! I just now saw your comment.. I think that's a trap I fell into quite a few times already. As girls we are taught to be nice, I am totally wired this way and always very polite. I am very aware I have to work on not being too agreeable. Very good point, thanks for that comment! 

Edited by Pilgrim

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