How do you stop feeling autistic?

[Roch]

 So I was labeled as autistic in the past out of convenience, but I was never actually diagnosed. So there’s no proof I’m autistic. Feeling autistic has ruined my life and stopped me from doing so many things in life. How do I stop this shit and stop feeling autistic or believing I am? I’m thinking of keeping a journal where I write about what makes me feel autistic in a practical way. Like I notice that visting certain websites, talking to certain people or acting specific ways make me feel autistic. So I’ll just write what makes me feel autistic and eliminate those things from my life as much as possible. So no more visiting websites about being autistic as they wouldn’t be helpful for a non-autistic like me, keep my living space clean as having a messy living space makes me feel autistic and many more things. I’ve read a bit of the book called ten pillars to self-esteem, but I’ll get back to it and do the exercises more. 

[Anton Rogachevski]

@Roch

I totally hear ya. I had the same feeling a few years ago. It was just a wrong belief. Healing my self-esteem helped me to put my positive thoughts about myself on top of all other thoughts, thus connecting to self-honesty and being the most authentic. I went from feeling autistic, introverted and retarded, to feeling on top of my game.

"A feeling is not a fact." 12 steps saying

Edited January 28, 2019 by Anton Rogachevski

[Roch]

45 minutes ago, Anton Rogachevski said:

@Roch

I totally hear ya. I had the same feeling a few years ago. It was just a wrong belief. Healing my self-esteem helped me to put my positive thoughts about myself on top of all other thoughts, thus connecting to self-honesty and being the most authentic. I went from feeling autistic, introverted and retarded, to feeling on top of my game.

"A feeling is not a fact." 12 steps saying

What made you feel autistic in the first place? Unfortunately I associate authenticity with autism. 

[Andreas]

Your not autistic. I promise. Some people just don't know any better than to just stigmatize percieved misbehaviour. Something similar happend to me too. It happens to milions of people. You should watch this:

Good luck in your recovery.

[Anton Rogachevski]

28 minutes ago, Roch said:

What made you feel autistic in the first place?

Repression of my autistic side, and fear of being seen as a retard.

Acceptance of all my shadow archetypes led to deep integration and confidence to be whatever. 

[creede]

Hooray for you! There is no authority over you that can limit you to an autistic experience any longer... I am impressed with the plan you have laid out for yourself, and support you in your mind opening future!!

[Commodent]

What was your upbringing like? A harsh upbringing usually result in a harsh inner critic.

[Eric Tarpall]

Mental illness labels are psychological warfare. It's designed to break your self esteem so that you become a weak, submissive and obedient. They tried to do that to me too. You have to keep saying empowering affirmations.

I can do everything.

I am the authority. There is no authority outside of me.

I never quit. I keep going forever.

 

 

[Joseph Maynor]

I have a distant family member who is really autistic, and when I mean really autistic, he is also mentally retarded.  

[Roch]

2 minutes ago, Commodent said:

What was your upbringing like? A harsh upbringing usually result in a harsh inner critic.

I was babied a lot due to my supposed autism. I was constantly corrected, especially when it came to social behavior. So if I told a joke people didn’t like they would tell me I’m being “socially inappropriate”. It would often be in front of a lot of people. My so called peers did that shit to me as well since people loved to blab about my label. So I constantly feel like I’ll make a wrong move any second. Even in non-social situations. 

[Shadowraix]

I once wondered if I was autistic. My mom said I was when I was young. My little brother is autistic. I had a lot of things when I was young like banging my head to sleep or comfort myself and making a humming sound. Which still comforts me but it's not necessary. I was very literal and didn't pick up social cues. And there were probably other examples but I talked to my grandmother about it and she was curious to but then asked me "Even if you were would it change anything?" Which I responded with No and didn't bother inquiring further. You are who you are and whether you are autistic or not doesn't change who you are right now. 

You aren't ever wrong it's just people disapprove of some behaviors and they constantly need an excuse to justify why you did it and mental labels are the easiest. 

Work on yourself and to not care about conforming to how society wants you to be. They don't know how to handle behavior outside their norm. 

[Commodent]

@Eric Tarpall Yes, such labels are so often used to pathologize entirely natural reactions. I would say, they always are. It's such an arbitrary line to say "you're mentally ill and you're not". Either we are everybody or nobody are. It just speaks volumes of how much ordinary people have denied in therselves, it's really a manifestation of their own inner walls seperating them from their own experiences. If they tore down the walls they would see how similar they are to those whom they label "sick".

@Roch So the idea that you were different and autistic was imprinted in you from your very birth. It is really no wonder you feel that way today. I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. I was constantly corrected for my behavior. But that just made me fearful around other people, because I expected the same hypercriticaIity from them. So it didn't really help at all. I'm really so much more fluent socially when I'm not fearful! See for yourself who you are. Go out in nature, get a dog maybe (highly recommended!), be kind with yourself and don't push yourself so hard. Listen to yourself and do things that make you feel good. You will see how wrong they all were. You will never care about such labels again, because you know who you are and don't need them.

[Roch]

I think I’ve been feeling extra autistic because I haven’t been meditating lately. I just can’t get into a good routine for it. I feel the autisticness as a tightness in my stomach, a block in my throat and difficulty with breathing. I just blocked and trapped inside like there’s a glass between me and the world. 

[Joseph Maynor]

Sometimes I wonder what being autistic means.  Not in an intellectual sense but in a being sense.  How does it feel to be autistic.  I wouldn't say that I'm autistic although I think I could be mistaken to be. 

Edited January 29, 2019 by Joseph Maynor

[Knock]

It's just a label, it can be empowering or dis-empowering.

For example, lets say people call you autistic, but your not. This means that you have a 'hidden power'. You will be underestimated.
People will be more likely to help you. They will be more impressed when you perform well. You will get greater praise and opportunities when you outperform all the other autistic due to your 'hidden power'.

It is like competing in the para-Olympics and winning gold. Be the best, most well-functioning autist in the world. 
Soon you will have people doubting you were autistic all along. That is when you have transcended the label.

[TheAvatarState]

15 hours ago, Roch said:

So I was labeled as autistic in the past out of convenience, but I was never actually diagnosed. So there’s no proof I’m autistic.

 You're going to have to deconstruct the word "autistic" to find what it actually means. Journal about it deeply. Where would you draw the line between "autistic" and "high functioning?" Does this term actually mean anything to you personally and how you'd want to live your life? Could it possibly be anything more than an crutch for you? When you realize it's a completely relative and baseless term, you'll be able to start doing inner work to rid yourself of the mental baggage. You're already aware of some of these limiting beliefs (like parasites), but a lot more will be uncovered. This won't be an easy process, but you'll be all the better for it. Also, be at peace with anyone who has called you autistic. It wasn't their fault...