Intense "Self"-Conflict in Social Situations

[Nahm]

3 hours ago, moon777light said:

reminds me of the mirror theory. But how do you get over this? How to get rid of the misunderstandings? Lets say i'm not smiling, because no can smile 24/7, and a person tells me "are you ok?" then i get stressed and feel uncomftorable because i analyze this response as saying that because im not smiling, im not ok. And not 'being ok" is bad. SO now im overthinking holy shit am i not normal because im not giggling like everyone around me on the streets.

I tried being "aware" when i was walking, but i constantly felt pressure looming over my head that i need to be saying something, the silence is too long, etc.

Ps, im half introverted and half extroverted. It depends on the situation. 

how did you realize this? I am going through the exact same problem. How will you act authentic without these thoughts distracting you?

It’s almost impossible to wrong with an hour of meditation every morning. 

Short of practices - tell me, what is it like experiencing what someone else is thinking? Describe that experience in as much detail as possible. This realization is worthwhile, could bring immediate relief, and could reduce overthinking by half. Thinking about what other people think is a common form of overthinking. 

On the smiling question - what would it be like if you were no longer concerned about “being ok”, and no longer concerned about if other people think you are “ok”?   What if what someone else thinks, is none of my business, and is really theirs to deal with? 

How did I realize this? Meditation with regards to the thinking. Psychedelics on a foundation of meditation with regards to the actuality of the nondual situation. 

On that last note....one can not “act” authentic. Just accept yourself, as you are. The Awareness, and Body Awareness video’s would be great refreshers. Relax. You’re fucking awesome. It’d be a shame if you’re the last to know this. 

[moon777light]

16 hours ago, DocHoliday said:

To keep it short and simple, it essentially just comes down to reclaiming full responsibility and full power over yourself that you would have otherwise given away.

thank for this reminder  i realized that whenever im out, even with good friends, i always subconsciously think that i need to prove myself being worthy of a friend and try to be as nicest as i can. and this is terrible in the long run. It'll take a while to deprogram my brain from thinking this way. I lack responsibility for myself. 

16 hours ago, Salvijus said:

Problem is you're too mindful, too full of yourself. Answer is self-abandonment.

You're too mindful means when you face situations your mind is full of opinions, estimations, projections, worries, anxieties, etc... It's just full. What you need is empty. That comes through self abandonment only.

Someone who doesnt think of himself can go into any situation make a fool of himself and come out untouched. People say "don't you care how you look in this situation?" No i don't. 

See, no conflict comes when you don't think anything about yourself. 

 

thank you. i still have the mindset that i constantly need to be mindful of showing who i am/my worth in social interactions. It will be hard to truly dont think of myself because whenever i show a sliver of my authentic self i start feeling shame when i feel people's eyes are on me. Like a burning sensation in my heart and cheeks. I guess it will take practice. 

[moon777light]

15 hours ago, Nahm said:

It’s almost impossible to wrong with an hour of meditation every morning. 

Short of practices - tell me, what is it like experiencing what someone else is thinking? Describe that experience in as much detail as possible. This realization is worthwhile, could bring immediate relief, and could reduce overthinking by half. Thinking about what other people think is a common form of overthinking. 

On the smiling question - what would it be like if you were no longer concerned about “being ok”, and no longer concerned about if other people think you are “ok”?   What if what someone else thinks, is none of my business, and is really theirs to deal with? 

How did I realize this? Meditation with regards to the thinking. Psychedelics on a foundation of meditation with regards to the actuality of the nondual situation. 

On that last note....one can not “act” authentic. Just accept yourself, as you are. The Awareness, and Body Awareness video’s would be great refreshers. Relax. You’re fucking awesome. It’d be a shame if you’re the last to know this. 

I have yet to do 20 minutes daily with no cheat days in between haha but i know if i dont commit to the practice, i wont get anything out of it.

 

hm, experiencing what someone else is thinking?--for me i rather dive into their facial expressions. Im good at analyzing faces and feelings and so whenever i get a weird confused look onto me, or i see multiple people looking at me, i associate that with something is wrong with what i am doing, because if i was doing something right then i wouldnt get such strange looks. I dont think i ever experienced a strange look thats equal with the feeling of comfortable. I think i put too much thought into the external determining if im being a good person or not. But i am speaking from a point of view with little commitment to practice. Last year, i meditated everyday for over a month and i felt those walls of that paradigm break down.  So i guess i should start there.

for the smiling thing-what would it be like? it would amazing and awesome. I would free myself of a lot of down periods/overthinking and start living like how i really want. 

thanks guys. I have the 6 pilars of self-esteem and i'll look into the responsibility one and be stricter with maintaining a daily meditation practice.