Can't meditate without missing a single day

[EternalForest]

I'm having a lot of trouble meditating every day without missing a single day. I'm really good when it comes to meditating in spurts or short bursts. Every couple weeks when I'm in the mood, I'll sit and meditate for an hour and its an amazing, peaceful, insightful experience. Sometimes I'll build momentum for a few days and meditate for 45 minutes the next few days too.

But when I'm not in the mood, like the other 20+ days of the month, it's difficult for me to meditate for just 15 minutes sometimes, and even harder to do it daily. I'm just not feeling it, and I know that sounds childish, but its true. If I meditate when I'm not in the mood, I  feel like I'm wasting time, what's the point if I'm not vibing with this, this is boring, etc.

Is there any solution other than to brute force it (something I don't believe in when it comes to spirituality?)

Leo recently said in his latest video that the reason for this may be that I don't fully recognize the significance of doing this. And it's not that I don't realize the significance, I think I do, (I enjoy meditation when I'm in the mood to do it), it's just that significance doesn't translate to motivation or a change in my behavior in my normal everyday.

[Salvijus]

Usually listening to some master like Mooji, echart tolle, spira, and others are very helpful. 

Listening to them can easily put you Into the meditation mood. And it supportive to hear them talking as you meditate. At least for me.

[Esoteric]

Go on a retreat. When you have to meditate for many hours for several days you can get motivation to keep a good routine going.

[Leo Gura]

@EternalForest Well, if you don't actually want to meditate every day then obviously you are getting exactly what you want.

The question is, what do you want here?

If you DO want to meditate every day but you are still struggling, that's a problem of self-discipline and integrity. You are making the commitment but then breaking your own word, which hurts your self esteem.

Spirituality usually requires developing hardcore discipline because otherwise the ego is too tricky and will never allow itself to be significantly undermined.

Maybe try some strong determination sits. Bordem and extreme suffering during meditation is par for the course. Some of the greatest suffering I've ever had was during my solo meditation retreats. You cannot even imagine how much bordem and suffering happens there. Imagine bordem so bad it is literally killing you.

Meditation is not all rainbows and peace. Meditation is hell from the ego's POV.

[EternalForest]

@Leo Gura Self-discipline is a tricky thing

My mind plays tricks on me and I tell myself "Yeah, I'm self-disciplined, look how much I just meditated, I can afford to be lazy now for a little while", and I make myself believe that lie over and over again. It also makes every re-attempt more difficult in terms of self-confidence. Not to say there's anything wrong with taking a break, but I do want to at least see the effects of a non-stop 90-day trial, which I haven't done yet.

But thanks guys, I think a retreat would be a good solution. I guess I just haven't really "broken through" yet.

[EternalForest]

@Salvijus Yeah, maybe some reading, mindful listening or contemplation beforehand would put me in a better mindset, good idea