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MisterMan

Spent wayyy to much on stripper because...loneliness :)

3 posts in this topic

I had this one experience at a strippers. Where i was loaded on drugs and spent waaay too much money on private dances. 

So this had me thinking. Wow, that was a really strong reaction i had to the situation. I typically don't hit strip clubs because the person in me wants something that is real and not a simulation. Although it's funny that therapy is effective at what it does even though it kind of is a simulation of friendship. And that is exactly how i view this situation. This simulation of intimacy really resonated with me.

It showed me I was offering intimacy in terms that was directly related to how i was hurting/suffering. This hits me pretty hard. I literally don't know any other way to be intimate than through my own suffering. 

So for example, when i'm at my most intimate with someone else. I'll be emanating or internally projecting a "it's going to be OK" vibe. Or "it's OK"

Maybe intimacy is the only vehicle where I'm aloud to channel suffering? 

I was hoping to hear some others critiques or just differing views/perspectives on this. 

Thanks

 

 

 

Edited by MisterMan

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Why can’t you channel this suffering through emotions? Is it due to fear of being vulnerable? 

You have to keep in mind that lonliness is a illusion. It’s a hard concept for us to grasp. In reality, we are all connected and not being able to feel this connectedness is what gives rise to feeling seperate and lonley. Maybe it’s something within you that is missing?  

I would advice meditation. Once you feel at ease with yourself, everything will align itself in life.

Going to strip clubs sounds like a form of escapism. Try to figure out what it is you’re escaping. I think it could be fear of vulnerability and emotional transparency. Just my two cents.

Good luck! ?

Edited by Smika

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Oh no, it was for a bucks party. Had drugs with me and got completely awestruck by one fine lass! 

Just like Adyashanti says. When we fall in love, we mistake the person for the wellspring of love that is actually being activated within us. So whilst i was completely enamoured with/at her she triggered the ANIMA within me. For in every Male or Female lies the dormant the opposite sex that one needs to integrate in order to fully self actualise. This is how i see this. That she triggered in me a lot of love and that got me thinking as to the nature behind the reaction i had.

 

But i agree with you on the aversion side of things. I definitely seek to escape ALL the time. From my own sense of unworthiness.

 

 

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