Simke

Outgrowing others, they seem so unconscious

19 posts in this topic

Hello everyonone, i have this problem that every girl i like at first ends up having such low consciousness, biased views, thinking rationally, like to jump on bandvagons without really knowing they are tottaly mainstream, that they are so closeminded and cant accept they are wrong and rather laugh in your face when you are experimenting with something that isnt accepted from mainstream not even considering they might be totally wrong in their thinking, and rather make a fool of you especially in front of other bandvagoners. The more personal development i do the further i feel i am from meeting a girl that will suit me.

Anyone else having this experience?

Am i doing something wrong?

 

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9 minutes ago, Simke said:

ends up having such low consciousness, biased views, thinking rationally, like to jump on bandvagons without really knowing they are tottaly mainstream, that they are so closeminded and cant accept they are wrong and rather laugh in your face when you are experimenting with something that isnt accepted from mainstream not even considering they might be totally wrong in their thinking, and rather make a fool of you especially in front of other bandvagoners.

Now consider that all of this is projection of your own shadow. All of this are really your own issues. Read your own post as if you are describing yourself. Hm? :)


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12 minutes ago, okulele said:

Now consider that all of this is projection of your own shadow. All of this are really your own issues

this

i know this is true, because i do the same exact thing. 

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I considered it, and i dont see myself as that kind... but from your statement it seems like you are taking a position that this is 100% the case and that there is no other way possible to explain what is going on?

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Well you could end up healing/guiding these girls if you like them


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@Simke Try watching some Katie Byron. In my case, it feels stupid to have any problems with others, because if I write the problem down on paper (so it doesn't remain slippery in the mind) and I go deep enough, while being 100% honest with myself, I have the exact same problem, sometimes only in different area. It's like when Ron wanted to cure Malfoy in the movie you know... :D What do you talk about with the girls? Telling people what to do is not a good approach. Very few people enjoy complicated topics as well, because they don't bring many emotions to the surface...

Now. Get a paper and a pen, write down: Girls that I like have a very low consciousness. And try to find in yourself - Where am I not conscious enough? Where am I getting self-decepted?

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Women are for sex, not for happiness. They are unconscious as fuck. I feel the same way as you. Finding someone who is sexy like 9/10 at least + being somewhat openminded is close to impossible in this reality.

I rather be alone then settling with less cuz I couldn't attract a sexier and more conscious girl.

At the end of the day there is no problem with them. It is our unreal expectations that we project on them. This shit only matter on our level of conscioussness, that's what the folks above me trying to point us to. Fuck women, we have a lot to improve on our consciousness level.

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Sometimes I feel the need to respond to people who make egregious claims, then I remember to recognize their level of consciousness, their level on the spiral (spiral dynamics), and the limitations they're setting for themselves. Hopefully they will grow within their lifetime. 

 

@Simke Low consciousness is a universal problem, not only found in females. If you want to find someone more like yourself, try searching in places you like to go or see yourself going to as your consciousness expands. Perhaps universities, meditation retreats, serious yoga classes, here on the forum, etc. The list is endless... And just because the people you're meeting aren't the right fit for you, doesn't mean they're worthless people - they're the perfect fit for someone else. 

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1 hour ago, iGhost said:

Women are for sex, not for happiness. They are unconscious as fuck. I feel the same way as you. Finding someone who is sexy like 9/10 at least + being somewhat openminded is close to impossible in this reality.

I rather be alone then settling with less cuz I couldn't attract a sexier and more conscious girl.

At the end of the day there is no problem with them. It is our unreal expectations that we project on them. This shit only matter on our level of conscioussness, that's what the folks above me trying to point us to. Fuck women, we have a lot to improve on our consciousness level.

And you are actualizing??

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7 hours ago, Simke said:

Hello everyonone, i have this problem that every girl i like at first ends up having such low consciousness, biased views, thinking rationally, like to jump on bandvagons without really knowing they are tottaly mainstream, that they are so closeminded and cant accept they are wrong and rather laugh in your face when you are experimenting with something that isnt accepted from mainstream not even considering they might be totally wrong in their thinking, and rather make a fool of you especially in front of other bandvagoners. The more personal development i do the further i feel i am from meeting a girl that will suit me.

Anyone else having this experience?

Am i doing something wrong?

 

If you have a judgement outward toward them for being unconscious, then you will hide every instance of your own unconsciousness from yourself to avoid the scrutiny that you place upon them. A judgment outward begets judgment inward which causes unconsciousness and repression. So, notice how this line of thinking is rooted in your own unconsciousness.

Now, discernment is a bit different than judgment. You can notice when people are unconscious without it being a judgment. But this is only true if you simply notice it. When it ties in with your own idea of being superior to them or above them or invalidating them in some way, that's when it goes from pure discernment to judgment. And this is how your post comes across... like "Ugh! I'm so conscious that I can't even be around girls anymore. They're so unconscious."

And it probably comes from wanting to mitigate feelings of low self-worth by convincing yourself that you're better by the standards of consciousness.

So, a judgment outward is a repression inward. And this is likely why you can see the splinters in other's eyes and not the log in your own.


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That's only a stage, the "spiritual ego" stage, where you feel so much better than anyone else.

After a while you leave it and enter the "I feel their suffering" stage, when you see them as poor little kids that needs to be helped.

Then you have the true compassion stage, where you just love them for what they are and don't judge them or feel sorry for them.


God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

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@Simke I think that you'd run into the same problem with anyone you meet, irregardless of what kind of relationship you want to form with them. 

2 hours ago, iGhost said:

Women are for sex, not for happiness. They are unconscious as fuck. I feel the same way as you. Finding someone who is sexy like 9/10 at least + being somewhat openminded is close to impossible in this reality.

This made me lol irl


Hark ye yet again — the little lower layer. All visible objects, man, are but as pasteboard masks. But in each event — in the living act, the undoubted deed — there, some unknown but still reasoning thing puts forth the mouldings of its features from behind the unreasoning mask. If man will strike, strike through the mask! How can the prisoner reach outside except by thrusting through the wall? To me, the white whale is that wall, shoved near to me. Sometimes I think there's naught beyond. But 'tis enough.

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2 hours ago, iGhost said:

Women are for sex, not for happiness. They are unconscious as fuck. I feel the same way as you. Finding someone who is sexy like 9/10 at least + being somewhat openminded is close to impossible in this reality.

I rather be alone then settling with less cuz I couldn't attract a sexier and more conscious girl.

At the end of the day there is no problem with them. It is our unreal expectations that we project on them. This shit only matter on our level of conscioussness, that's what the folks above me trying to point us to. Fuck women, we have a lot to improve on our consciousness level.

Nobody exists for any reason whatsoever. Existence just is. So, you are correct that, to assume women exist for happiness is a delusion. But to assume women exist for sex is equally a delusion. This is to see women only through the lens of your own wants and needs. So, you're going to be unconscious to any aspect of reality that involves women... which is most of them since human societies are half-comprised of women.

As a teenager, I was in a conversation with a really unconscious man who used to work for my dad. And he was really obtuse because he was really unconscious but thought himself to "know what's up." His experience of the world was to look around the world at all the unconscious idiots and to revel in his own supposed intelligence. He was a real Dunning-Kruger.

He was talking about how he hated cats and wanted to bury them up to their necks and run over them with a lawnmower. I asked him why he hated cats so much and he said, "Because they are useless animals."

So, I asked him what he meant. And he said, "Dogs can be trained to be cops and service dogs. So, dogs have a purpose. But cats have no purpose." 

So, he truly believed that the world worked in terms of an animal's 'purpose' to the agenda of human beings having something to do with their existential validity. So, in his framework, he saw cats as a mistake and an invalid part of nature because he was only able to see things as valid relative to his own desires and needs. And that's why he delighted in the idea of killing them.

But of course, this probably comes back to bite him when he feels like he has no purpose. If he can't function well in his line of work, then at some level he likely feels like he's invalid and should be buried up to the neck and run over with a lawnmower. 

This is very similar to your mindset in this post. And it will come back to bite you in the end because you'll be trying to value yourself by finding your utility to someone else. And since it doesn't exist, when you can't find it, you'll feel invalid.

No one exists for you. Reality just is.

Edited by Emerald

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@Emerald Thanks for clarifying that for everyone, awesome!

@Simke  What katykat, Emerald, Shin, & bejapuskas said is rad, you are fortunate to recieve that wisdom. The only thing I have to add is: what stood out to me, is that *openmindedness* seems incredibly important to you... especially in order to enjoy quality time & interactions with others. It is likely something you highly value. It may be best to seek open-minded people for intimacy. Alternately, you could used percieved closedmindedness in others as a way to learn & grow yourself... that said, if it festers in resentment, that might not be very helpful... I don't know... Tip: Women tied in deeply with nature and all things of the *sacred feminine* seem less egoic & and more open-minded in general...

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You have specific wants that you want fulfilled to enjoy a relationship. So this is ultimately an issue with you. Finding the ones that fulfill those wants are far and few in between but that'll probably be the case for most people. Work on your resistance to the qualities you don't like. 

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5 hours ago, Shin said:

That's only a stage, the "spiritual ego" stage, where you feel so much better than anyone else.

After a while you leave it and enter the "I feel their suffering" stage, when you see them as poor little kids that needs to be helped.

Then you have the true compassion stage, where you just love them for what they are and don't judge them or feel sorry for them.

Listen to this guy. We are at the spiritual ego stage, that's why we see this shit.

I meant women are for sex, so you don't set your expectations too high, yeah it is delusion but try to read between the lines.

Guys, idk...

Telling people about non duality 24/7 won't help them on their journey. There are stages. It is like you are telling a new born child that how quantum mechanics work. It just doesn't work, doesn't compute. Goes one ear in, out on the other. That's where you lack understanding and have difficulties communicating.

And someone asks are you actualizing?

You are projecting just as much. Beware of self-deception.

Edited by iGhost

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@Simke Also, don't set any limits for yourself in terms of relationships, love is not rational. I actually have a group of friends who are excellent physicists, but they have never had a girlfriend in their life and they don't know what love is about... By choosing your girlfriend according to some logical reasoning, man... it will suck :D 

I actually remember a story, where a girl in my class was making a decision between me and another boy and she chose him, because he had a better phone xD Then they broke up and I started dating her lol. (we were 9 yo)

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@iGhost So you are saying if my consciousness is higher and i look at things differently then them, there is no point in expecting them to understand or behave in manners that seem right to me? So how can you be happy around those people that don't really share the values with you? Should i just take the world less seriously and start looking at it more humorously?

@Epiphany_Inspired Interesting how you spotted this, yes openmindedness is really important to me.

@Emerald So how would you cure my judgement? And if you are in a situation where you get mocked unfairly in front of others, but in reality it is them being stupid and unconscious how do you react?

@Shadowraix So how should i tackle this?

@Shin So when someone makes a stupid joke that is totally unfair and is doing it just to look good in front of others and they all start laughing at you, you do what? Should i just get my Ego out of the way and laugh at their stupid jokes? Should i hang out around those people or should i avoid them in the future?

@katykat You have any suggestions how to be happy around people the way they are, accepting their levels of consciousness and not reacting to their stupid jokes or claims? I have a few at my current job so its not like i have a choice of not being around them.

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@Simke well, this is just temporary. With time you will go deeper and realise that it is just a relative truth. Just like science. Yes they might be more unconscious and we could measure it on a scale. That's your limited perspective, that's the spiritual ego wants to feel superior. See how beautiful mechanism our ego is? With so much self-deception we are ending up confused. Whenever you feel confused, beware that it's the ego and try to surrender yourself.

 

So things go full circle, you haven't fully got to the Truth and it is okay, don't be hard on yourself. Eventually you will get there. This will result in being more human, more authentic, more expressive, more compassionate etc.

That's what people (including girls) will notice and will be able to resonate with. They will be attracted to you, just like people were to Jesus and Buddha.

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