I think I have Borderline Personality Disorder. Advice? Tools? Books?

[Matt23]

Hey.  So I'm starting to think that I might have BPD.  

I've shied away from the mental illness perspective but am now considering that it might be valid to a degree.  I don't really even know what a mental illness is.  For me it's all based in the mind and beliefs etc, but I haven't considered a biological, physiological, or any other perspective on it.  Leo makes it sound that spirituality and Truth is a cure for all (mostly).  But I'm wondering if the modern scientific psychological model is helpful enough to use or too "in the dark", thus holding me back?

Does anyone have or know of anyone with BPD?  If so, what do you do about it?

Does anyone know any books, people, or other research items about BPD?

I'd love to hear any of your advice, thoughts, stories, research, or personal experiences.

Thanks

Matthew

[Matt23]

I'm also aware that diagnosing oneself isn't the best way to go and that there's a big possibility that I don't have BPD.

[Zigzag Idiot]

There's a lot of healing to be had in self study. Diamond Approach Online Glossary is a good place to do it. IMO

Ill leave a couple excerpts and a link. Hope this is some help,,,

Essential Development Involves Confronting Rips in the Structure of the Personality

Narcissistic pathology, borderline syndrome, and the psychoses are nothing but failures and deficiencies of the structure of the personality itself, as is becoming understood now in depth psychology. The work on essential development involves actually confronting and softening this same structure. It does not only modify it but in some sense actually dismantles the ego identity and reinstitutes the lost identity, the true, high self of the essence. This is bound to bring to consciousness all the conflicts, fears, distortions and deficiencies in the structure.
We are not here lauding weak or deficient structures of the personality; borderline tendencies and psychosis are not essence. They are just rips in the structure of the personality itself. Actually, the personality must be somewhat stable but flexible for the work of essential development to be possible. Otherwise, the conflicts and fears will be too quicklydisintegrating, and the person will not be able to tolerate the process.

Essence with the Elixir of Enlightenment, pg. 119

 

Everybody has Neurotic, Borderline, Narcissistic and Psychotic Features in His Personality

However, even neurotic and normal personalities have features similar to these severe pathologies. Sometimes the difference is only in the degree of pathology. The extent of the presence of borderline, narcissistic, and psychotic features in neurotic and normal personality structures is just beginning to be acknowledged in psychological circles. It is still very far from being seen objectively. From our perspective, everybody has neurotic, borderline, narcissistic, and psychotic features in his personality, each stemming from its
developmental anlage in the process of ego development. People differ in the preponderance and intensity of the different developmental features in their personalities. Diagnosis in terms of neurotic, borderline, and so on is useful only for the practical purposes of applying technique and judging what is the best sequence of development for a particular student. For instance, a normal person with borderline tendencies might need to deal to some extent with some of the features of his ego structure before it is possible or even desirable to deal effectively with his superego.

Essence with the Elixir of Enlightenment, pg. 135

 

https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/borderline

 

Personally, I had to work on 'the grandiose self' and schizoid coping mechanisms

https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/grandiose-self

https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/schizoid-defense

 

Good luck,,,

[OrpheusNovum]

Borderline is a mixture of extreme mirroring and shame. I would recommend meditation and psychedelics for sure, but I've also seen people make strides writing poetry. 

[Matt23]

What is mirroring?

[DrewNows]

@Zigzag Idiot thanks again man. I’m coming to terms with this myself, the worst keeps coming to the surface and it seems unbearable. Will utilize what you shared