There and Back Again, a Tripper's Tale

[Wisebaxter]

Hi guys, the date for my first LSD trip (150ug) will be Christmas Eve, late afternoon. This will see me tripping into the early hours of Christmas Day, which I feel is a perfect tribute to the sage Jesus Christ. I will have Christmas Day to integrate before I travel on shadowfax to my family for boxing day as Wisebaxter the White. The door will swing open upon their festivities and a blinding light will fill the room. 

 

Edited December 15, 2018 by Wisebaxter

[Wisebaxter]

Here is my List of things to Try/Remember/Consider during the trip

This list is just to guide me incase I get a bit lost. Really I want to just sit back as awareness and let the substance guide me. My intention is to discover the truth of what I am. I'm figuring if I reside as awareness I have a good shot at being shown?

The List:

Remember that no experience is bad, even if it seems so. You are always being guided in your journey and you are always learning. The universe wants you to awaken. 

I am not Alex. I am God, the divine spirit. The One. This is the one I am asking questions. 

Everything has to be possible, that's the openness needed. 

We have to be very very open to discover truth. We're mostly in love with what we 'think' is true. 

Consider how thoughts just battle other thoughts or relate to them. There is ’nothing’ in between them, or there is just awareness. 

There can be profoundly creative thoughts when we open up and get out of the way. Then it's like a creative force is using the mind. there is a kind of wisdom, trust or sacredness inherent in the nature of life itself. So listen to it, rather than try to do something with it. To listen deeply is in itself an act of faith. When we stop resisting it like we're taught to we can be renewed by it.

What are you? If there's nothing there, enter that. There may be more there than you ever dreamed. 

Let go of wanting

You make the choice to stop engaging that which is always wanting. First you see it with wonderment - look at that thing! You experience what it's really like when it falls. Personal will has to disappear completely for the identity to dissolve. For God to speak through you you have to let go. A whole new energy will then move through you. It's usually trying to move through us but is continually bumping into personal ambitions and being thwarted. Our spiritual immaturity can only end once we completely submit to being and to the silence and stillness. You are always living the truth of what you are, you can't do otherwise, so submit to it. You can't reach for the beautiful because then we're not putting the kingdom first. We can't be everything until we've really been nothing. Don't push the tide trying to get to the next thing. Let it take you

Fiction of Self

The fiction of self always keeps itself in the centre of one's consciousness. Confusion is confusion, sadness is sadness, consciousness is consciousness. seeing it opens a doorway to experiencing it. There is no subject and object. Consciousness is part of life, part of reality. Its not something that belongs to a self or a me. It's not I am conscious, I am aware. Awareness and consciousness are indicative to existence

What better way for the truth to be hidden than in plain sight?

Often Mindfullness isn't enough. The people who teach it get you to watch the garbage can of your mind unloading but don't give you the next step. The mindfullness itself can produce it's own kind of ego structure whereas it now becomes the witness. 

Is it true that 'I' am being aware. That's the illusion. Instead we need to ask 'who am I?' There is no meditator meditating, it's just a thought. There's nobody 'doing' awareness or 'watching.' 

Thoughts are not real so you don’t need to identify with them. 

I am pure love. Love for myself is love for the universe. 

To accept the Now completely as this is how it should be. I am here for a reason and I am being guided. 

If I’m asking a question, keep it in mind and then move back into awareness. Try just residing as being and see if the answer comes. 

Try letting go of all control, wants, desire to ask questions. Reside as being and let the Universe guide you

Time itself is a concept, an invention of the mind. Contemplate how meaning is therefore created 

Consider how how meaning shapes the external world 

Become ultra aware of how any judgements you have are shaping your experience. Drop them all, let go and see how your experience changes/ 

Become aware of how any ecstatic feelings have been produced. Was it by a perception that some ’thing’ is good, an idea, a piece of music or a situation? If you continue to detach, even from this, you may go deeper still. Consider how to be in such a state it still a product of duality. There are always deeper states of being to experience, with even greater feelings of bliss, beyond normal conceptions of ‘good.’

 

[TheAvatarState]

Good luck! I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time. A couple of tips, make sure to have healthy, plant-based snacks ready, and an activity +chill music for the comeup. You want your mind distracted in something light and fun during the comeup so it doesn't get overly uncomfortable or overwhelm you.

[Bluebird]

You've done more research than most. Time to stop theorising now

Good luck, may you find what you're looking for. Or not ?

[Wisebaxter]

@Bluebird @TheAvatarState Thanks guys yeah my theorising has ended. Time to just let go, move into being and give myself over to the Ox, if it'll have me. 

[Wisebaxter]

Ok I'm a little freaked here, this guy took 200ug of LSD and went down the fucking rabbit hole and he's an experienced tripper. It sounds quite cool though as he had had a non-dual mystical experience, but still sounds quite insane. I'm doing 150ug so not much less....oh well...the wheel's in motion now. What do you guys think?

 

[TheAvatarState]

@Wisebaxter You'll be fine! Speaking from experience here, the difficult trips actually present the greatest learning experiences! Personally, I have never had a bad trip under 300ug, in fact, all my challenging experiences, save one, were over 300ug. It's kind of like a line for me. That being said, I wouldn't take back any of my trips. So be open to any experience that may arise, whether it's bliss beyond your wildest dreams for 9 hours, or if you go back and work through past traumas, it really doesn't matter. You're using this for consciousness work, and you will learn greatly either way. Like I've said before, you've done more than enough research, and watching more can become a self-fulfilling prophecy due to your pre-conceived notions and fears of the experience. It is what it is. You're going to be led wherever your true self wants to go. Breathe and surrender to it, and it won't matter what you'll face, good or bad. It was exactly what you needed to experience.

Good luck! I'll be thinking of you on Christmas!

[peanutspathtotruth]

Have a great journey tonight man <3

[Wisebaxter]

Thanks man, very touched that you remembered. Just prepping now. I have a noob question, do I just play the tab under my tongue? how long for? How will I know when it's all been absorbed? 

Edited December 26, 2018 by Wisebaxter

[TheAvatarState]

@Wisebaxter Good luck! I'll be thinking about you!

Interesting fact about LSD, there is no difference in effect between swallowing the tab or keeping it on your tongue. Perhaps a difference of 5-10 minutes in the onset, but no difference in the strength of the trip. Now, this is only applicable with LSD. If you were sold a NBOMe compound (can be dangerous or even lethal in large quantities) under the guise of acid, it won't actually take affect if you swallow the tab. So if you're unsure of what you got, let's say you're at a festival and someone gives you a tab of "lsd," it's safe to just swallow it. If it's lsd, great, if not, then there won't be an effect!

While LSD is tasteless, sometimes the blotter it's laid on (ink and whatnot) can be a little nasty to keep on your tongue for a while. That being said, I think the whole historical use and stereotype of keeping blotters on your tongue is part of the experience, especially for your first time. I'd shoot for keeping it on the top of your tongue for 20-30 minutes, then swallowing it.

[Wisebaxter]

Swallowed it in the end lol. Writing this in the middle of my very...well.....words of course fall short....state. Trying to figure out who the recipient of this message is? You, me? All much the same. That's all I can manage now haha.

Hope  you guys are all having a nice Christmas Eve - there I managed that formality haha. love you all  

[Wisebaxter]

@Bluebird @TheAvatarState@peanutspathtotruth And so it was that Frodo returned to the Shire. Those that saw him on that morning said he had a different look about him, the gaffer had even remarked that he looked a bit more..'adventured' somehow. Even though it had been a short trip it was his first, and in some ways, the first time you venture out, well, many say that's the greatest adventure of all, starting the journey. At least it would be up there for him, he decided as he sat there pondering under his favourite tree. Earlier that day Samwise had practically tackled him to the floor upon his return, so desperate was he to hear about life beyond the shire. 'Oh Sam, Frodo told him, they'll be plenty of time for that, once I'm rested.' 'Oh but please, you've gotta tell me something!' Sam implored. Frodo carried on walking, but glanced over his shoulder, smiled lovingly and said, 'one thing then...we're gonna need a bigger boat.'

Edited December 25, 2018 by Wisebaxter

[TheAvatarState]

@Wisebaxter HAHA this made my morning! 

I can't wait to hear your Tales from the Beyond, but get some rest.

[Wisebaxter]

@TheAvatarState Some awesome tales coming soon buddy It was a very profound, beautiful, spiritual experience and I have already noticed some major changes in my consciousness. I can't actually believe it, it's like I've been upgraded or something. And I didn't even need to fight any Balrogs.

Edited December 26, 2018 by Wisebaxter

[Wisebaxter]

It was 9pm when Frodo decided to leave the shire for the first time, on his hero's journey  

Dosage: 150ug LSD

After swallowing the tab I felt quite confident, excited, but a little nervous. I had a long list of intentions and things I was going to consider and contemplate, things like 'what is awareness,' so I glanced at them briefly and realised I'd made so many that I didn't have a clue what to focus on in particular. I'd made a long playlist from the tripping music thread on here and started to just relax and get into a different mindspace for it. Music had become a big focus for some reason, perhaps because I somehow felt was important. After the hour mark I started to feel it physically, like a cool ocean wave of bliss washing over me. I started feeling energy coursing up from my root chakra, immediately there was a huge shift around my back area and a palpable sense of mental relief. Then the visuals started. Man, nothing can prepare you for this can it? With everything shifting, moving and melting in time with the music, it was like all my notions of a concrete, physical reality outside of my own subjective awareness melted away. The quality of my consciousness had changed somehow, time took on a new flavour, as my perception of it had changed. Maybe slow motion...or moments seeming to become stretched out. I was trying to text someone and it was hard to conceive of this thing called 'normal reality,' where messages have to be sent. 

I started to feel the pressure to do some techniques or to start asking questions about the nature of being so I sat to meditate. But I was overcome with an intense feeling of love and abundance and my mind just kept being playful, making jokes, saying things like 'uh oh, he's getting serious,' and come now universe, I have some questions for you.' I had really wanted to get some good insights though so I sat still and explored what I was. I kept getting a sense that it was this, all of this is is me so anything you do in the moment, fully present is a spiritual act. This kind of freed me up to surrender into the experience more and go back to the music and just enjoy the visuals and the general feeling of my reality melting away before my eyes. I noticed that when I stopped assuming there was any separation between these 'objects' in front of me, they were able to distort more freely, as if these distortions were a quality of my focus. I got the impression that I could very well be limiting myself simply through the act of assuming too much. So instead of just a TV warping, as I before was thinking 'TV,' now the whole scene around the TV was warping along with it in unison. It was a mental warping too though, as if my usual manner of perceiving the scene was melting and drooping. it was like my consciousness and the scene were tightly linked. This is a hard one to put into words.

I still felt a bit of inner conflict as I was being lured into the visuals, being on a 'high' element and not gunning for insights and raising my consciousness. But one of the insights that came to me was 'choose the path of least resistance.' Probably rubbish, I'm sure the opposite is usually true, but for now it felt right and I had a sense of being guided. I opted to go out for a walk and started worrying about things like locking myself out. For some reason I'd started to have this experience of being a stage green hippy at a festival, tripping on Acid and worrying about practical stuff so the group don't get in shit situations. I walked out a bit and when I looked up at the sky....wow...Mother Nature was putting on the best possible visual show for me. The smoke-like, ashen clouds were swirling around the moon, which sat there framed by them, along with a few stars. I can't remember seeing anything like it, at least if I had I hadn't registered it. I suddenly understood the meaning of all hippy murials and of the imagery surrounding stage Green in general. It was nature inspired. Moons, wolf's, anything nature-based. I'd been getting immersed in Green for the past few months as I live in a very alternative area in the UK with a vibrant hippy culture and they even have a Green Party in control here. I'd been visiting their shops, sniffing essential oils, collecting stones, learning about my Chakras. I'd come from a more materialist, scientific background so it had taken me some work to open my mind. This is why I resonated with Dr Strange so much  
So at that point I had this deep feeling of love for all that is and I fully understood the green mentality and felt it burning inside me. Of course I'm heading for turquoise but this aspect of Green had been missing from me in my heart. It was a potential that was now fully unlocked and actualised. I decided to go back for a rug to lie on and could imagine me having an argument with my hippy buddies who thought it was too much effort as they were too high. Then I imagined myself to be the one who always thinks of practical things and makes sure we're all comfortable and safe. I was at an imaginary festival in my head, sharing the moment with others. A lot of my stereotyping of Green just evaporated and I realised they are some of the most loving, kind people and they are setting an example for us. 
I thought to myself, am I still me? Has my ego gone anywhere? I still had a palpable sense of 'I am me,'but this me felt more floaty than usual, like it could be out in the ether somewhere. I felt very much a part of the whole. This was only a light dose anyway and me finding my feet, getting over my initial fear of the unknown. The universe was saying 'welcome home child,' I grant you the power of Green!  
I decided that this was a perfect experience for my first trip. What an unexpected gift! I hadn't seen this kind of experience happening at all. I'd envisaged sitting there with my eyes shut exploring my true nature and interrogating the universe, but this was perfect for now. 
I spent the rest of the evening doing some shadow work, instilling some painful memories with love, thankfully realising that the Shadow work I'd been doing had paid off. This were no demons there to torment me. I could see clearly what my problems were and I was honest about them. I wondered how I could just bring more love into all of these situations, to the memories, to the people involved, to myself. I felt a deep sense of self acceptance and comforted myself. Love just felt like the right solution to everything. 
I did a bit of self enquiry towards the end, and even in a my tired state I could focus a lot more sharply. I hadn't realised how incredibly intuitive it makes you. 
In the morning I went for a walk in the countryside, listening to panpipes and shedding some tears for the downtrodden native Americans in line with my new Green credentials. I put on some viking folk music, which is basically intense, Witcher-esque sounding stuff, battle chants and haunting vocals etc. This made me laugh as listening to the music of a marauding, blood thirsty group of vikings, out raping and pillaging, seemed at odds with my new persona. I then pictured a group of hippy's trying to intervene and stand between invading Vikings on the shores on England and the locals. How would that go down? Then it occurred to me that I have a sadistic streak or a dark sense of humour at least.
One amazing thing I noticed was that I seemed more intuitive and switched on to things. Like the first Native Indian song I'd played immediately sounded very artificial, like the music you hear Native Indian's playing when they're being forced to bastardise their music for cash, you know, with all these cheesy synthesised sounds. I'd added this to my playlist for some reason. Instead I found just a solo pan pipe, simple and minimalist. 
Social encounters with dog walkers were less forced. I didn't seem so stressed about saying the wrong things, like I was able to let them do the talking and just respond. I'd stopped neurotically caring about looking bad. 

So it's the next day and amazingly I feel like there have been some permanent shifts in the quality of my consciousness. I hadn't seen that coming. I'd heard it said that psychedelics cause this but I'd somehow told myself it was only if you have these magic things called insights you have to go hunting for. But this is what I've noticed. 

Bullshit detector Lvl 2,  60% detection chance. it's like I just catch myself thinking something that's bullshit and immediately adjust my thinking with a quick reframe or something. it's like my authenticity meter shot up or something, or I became more aligned with the truth. 

Great Mountain Spirit - increased connection with mother earth allows hippy gear to be equppied. Can now move freely through festivals and raves 

Ralston's third eye - unlocks additional perspectives for critical thinking and contemplation. This is an interesting one. It's like I'm now able to pierce straight into the heart of an issue and see it in a brand new light, more directly. New, profound Insights just occur even as I'm mindlessly thinking about stuff. It's also like my mind is able to retrieve the relevant answer a lot quicker and the answer is simple and much more practical than I imagined. I can just cut through all the bullshit in my mind. 

So I was happy that I received some upgrades because I was worried I hadn't put in enough hard working during the trip and I also wanted my faith in psychedelics to be rewarded and to get some more drive for my personal development, which I now have in spades. I just can't believe this stuff. How dare they make it illegal! It gives you new passive abilities! Without you even trying. I'd been tired going into it too, so I didn't have the attention for intense contemplation, but that will come. I can just see how upping the dosage would change the experience and I'm excited about that and about the possibilities of what can be achieved with a tool like this. It literally restructures your brain! 

 

 

Edited December 26, 2018 by Wisebaxter

[Bluebird]

If you up the dosage remember to stay safe. Ego death had unintended consequences in my case. 

Also, it sounds like you got the deepest insight you needed right now. Kick back and don't take it all so seriously, just live and love. 

Love is always the answer

And no, nothing can really prepare you for it... That's what makes it so beautiful

Glad your on this journey with us ❤

[Wisebaxter]

@Bluebird Thanks for reading my epic post dude. Yeah I'll up the dosage in very small increments, maybe 200ug next, until I get a good breakthrough dose. Also I want to try mushrooms as they sound stronger than LSD and perhaps can lead to more mystical experiences? 

[Forestluv]

@Wisebaxter So beautiful ♥️ ? 

[Igor82]

I have been really excited for your update for a while now!

I have been planning to trip aswell, in face, I will swallow 200ug of lsd tomorrow! As I read your report, a sense of fear came up in me, and I indentified it as a fear of reality changing, the fear of unknown “what will it do to me? It could be horrendous!!” But then I read the part about love and got reminded of the other side of the coin, kind of breaking through that fear and getting more aware of the potential beauty.

@Wisebaxter

Thank you for the report!

[TheAvatarState]

@Igor82 Wow, you should be so excited! Please let us know how it goes! If you have any questions or concerns, I'm here for you (I'm a really experienced tripper).

@Wisebaxter I had no doubt you were going to have a wonderful experience! By the way, did you listen to any Shpongle?

20 hours ago, Wisebaxter said:

How dare they make it illegal!

It should be obvious to you now, is it not? One can no longer buy into bullshit, which is fundamentally what the government requires a majority of its citizens to do... The worldwide banning of psychedelics was a direct ego backlash to the green hippie culture of the 60's, that unruly, loving bunch...

I was just going to recommend what you said, lol. Up your dose by 50ug each trip. This is because the intensity is MULTIPLICATIVE, not ADDITIVE. 300ug isn't twice as strong as 150ug, it's more like 5 times stronger. Respect the substance, and it'll serve you well. Also, more does not always equal better. All of my best experiences were in the 200-300ug range. I was really stupid and cocky one time and did 700ug... You realize there's only so far you can go with lsd. I have absolutely no intention to go that deep again, it can really fuck you up... and I'm a guy who loves mindfuck.