Wisebaxter

There and Back Again, a Tripper's Tale

129 posts in this topic

@KyleR Ah dude, thanks for that post, some great information there. I'm gonna come back at you with a good reply soon. In the meantime I'm gonna link you my Facebook page. You, me and your buddy seriously needed to drop some acid and work on some naughty vibes lol, love that. I'm wanting to put together a podcast too where I interview people about psychedelic use, so perhaps you and your mate would be up for doing something with that at some point. Maybe a podcast on psychedelics and creativity or mastery etc  

Sweet ass tune you linked me but the way. That's going on my tripping playlist for sure!

Edited by Wisebaxter

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Had quite an interesting insight earlier...basically all of the insights I had during my last trip, 99% of them, still constituted concepts, beliefs and ideologies. Was watching Leo's video on how Ideologies work earlier and I realised I've basically just constructed a new ideology around spirituality, for example, the idea that I'm God, that God is playful, that it's artistic etc. I'm not saying its untrue, just that it hasn't been directly verified and I don't want to adopt a new bunch of beliefs and close myself off. The ego is so damn sneaky and will always strengthen itself through the back door. Just when you think you've deconstructed it, you realise you've just changed your mask. When it comes down to it, the only truth is the Now, being....as soon as concepts start taking over the scene....you get detached from it. I need to go deeper into the moment with my next trip. What my previous trips have done is just connect all of these areas of my brain and led me to have a bunch of ideas. The acid magnified what's there already in my brain and allowed me to piece it all together, like some kind of obsessed ex-cop in his basement, with photos all over the walls linked up in a web of causality. But the Zodiac killer (the truth) still remains at large. With my next trip I'm setting the intention to go beyond the conceptual ream and balls deep into the now. 

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brought a big smile to my face that post mate, 1200 tho!? Shittt, no typo??sounds like a magical experience with your gf. Did yous experience any kind of sync with thoughts or anything, like telepathy ha? Heard multiple cases of this happening now, big doses like that gotta be more likely aswell, mind blowing man. Sounds like another magical trip mate??

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Man this is a powerful concept. Setting intentions. You can do it all through the day and it gives you a completely different experience of life. 

 

 

Edited by Wisebaxter

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Watching Leo's Enlightenment experience happening in real time video last night I was struck his description of elements of shadow and ego structures being dissolved by the light of Consciousness. Same as Inquiry but perhaps speeded up about a thousand fold maybe,,,, Also in some of the instances where he just stared into the camera, it almost felt like receiving a transmission. It also triggered a memory from my trip of a paradoxical fear/bliss experience that I would never be the same again. A horrible loneliness that seemed occur simultaneously with a spaciousness in which there was no reality to personal history.

You mentioned a flood of synchronous occurrences the other day. I've been tasting that as well in ways where I seem to get drawn into rabbit holes of interest. Other things lose priority and time seems to speed up in a way. In a blink of an eye, the day is gone and another week goes by. The caption on my I pad that says -"Here's the biggest news that you missed over the weekend" seems to show up every time I turn around.

I watched some of the Matt Kahn video you posted above. I never had heard of him before four months ago. I really enjoy  his style of authenticity as well as the content of his message. Need to watch more of him,,, My signature line below that I attribute to Hans Wilhelm actually comes from him.

Saw this short clip of Rupert Sheldrake this morning and thought you might get a kick out of it.

 


"To have a free mind is to be a universal heretic." - A.H. Almaas

"We have to bless the living crap out of everyone." - Matt Kahn

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@Wisebaxter ?? ? Nice!

Eckart Tolle and the Space Cowboys

 


"To have a free mind is to be a universal heretic." - A.H. Almaas

"We have to bless the living crap out of everyone." - Matt Kahn

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Glad you like it :) I'm thinking of making an album called 'guru' or something where I sample various gurus speaking about non-duality. Could be cool. I'd love to bring Non-Duality to more people through mediums like music.

I loved that video you posted. Cracks me up the way the guy's so well spoken and refined, talking about  'yes, the cannabis definitely did facilitate the flow of thoughts.' Love it. This guy got some ego death on his first LSD trip. Now quite sure why I haven't yet. Leo said I may have to just sift through all the psychological insights I'm getting first before the universe allows me a peek lol. That's fine by me. Can't help feeling a little disappointed that I haven't had a real mystical experience yet though. 

I'll reply to your other post in a little bit

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I think the fact modafinil quietens your mind and improves your focus, enables you to dig deeper into the thoughts that do occur with a greater clarity and concentration, to see how you're creating meaning all the time. I've been noticing so much self-deception today, almost constantly. It's almost like I've been able to take a step back a look at my actions from a more zoomed out perspective. I can see much more clearly how I've been applying meaning to everything based on my agenda and my beliefs. It's freaked me out a bit as I'm noticing it more and more. Don't know if anyone else had found they've had more spontaneous insights on modafinil, or had more clarity in general. I feel it's almost like a 'woke' pill. Keeps you woke and awake lol. 

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Another one I made. I use them for alarm sounds on my phone that go off throughout the day and remind me to check important things. This one is reminding me to check the meaning I'm giving to symbols, which is basically anything that comes into my awareness. It's free to download if you want to use it for anything. 

 

Edited by Wisebaxter

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On 05/04/2019 at 3:00 PM, Zigzag Idiot said:

You mentioned a flood of synchronous occurrences the other day. I've been tasting that as well in ways where I seem to get drawn into rabbit holes of interest. Other things lose priority and time seems to speed up in a way. In a blink of an eye, the day is gone and another week goes by. The caption on my I pad that says -"Here's the biggest news that you missed over the weekend" seems to show up every time I turn around.

@Zigzag Idiot Luckily for me these synchronicities aren't regular enough to keep me constantly distracted and in a kind of trance almost, from what you've said.  Does this bother you, that they draw you in so much? I guess I'm framing it like it would at the moment, as I'm trying to work on my focus levels. Saying that, synchronicities are so awesome I probably wouldn't be fussed. I might not say 'stop trying to communicate with be universe, I don't have time for you lol. 

I do get distracted a lot, from consciousness work and life purpose stuff, but like I said I'm working on systems to stop that happening. For example, I just came up with these things called 'memory nodes.' If you ever find focus an issue (not 100% sure you do) Here are my notes on it:

Memories occur when specific groups of neurons are reactivated. In the brain, any stimulus results in a particular pattern of neuronal activity—certain neurons become active in more or less a particular sequence. If you think of your cat, or your home, or your fifth birthday cake, different ensembles, or groups, of neurons become active. The theory is that strengthening or weakening synapses makes particular patterns of neuronal activity more or less likely to occur.

So, it's a chain, and you have to break that chain, using mindfulness. Add a new node into the chain that brings you back to the present moment 

How can you do that if you're lost in thought? When awareness has left the building, how do you take control? 

By pro-actively inserting nodes, from a place of awareness. It's different from reframing as reframing is just creating a new story. 

Memory Nodes

1., identify popular thought streams, on the spot and throughout the day, maybe when awareness returns after a stream is broken. Keep them written down. 

2. Then, one at a time, bring the imagery associated with each to mind. It will feel a bit forced as you're used to being carried away by these memories and thinking patterns. You may even struggle to identify what's there, but keep the issue in mind as best as you can. The people, the places, the words. 

3. Say 'May this memory always trigger presence in me and bring me back to the Now, for the good of all beings.' Then, visualize this happening. Take deep breaths with the belly and imagine you've just interrupted an uncomfortable thought stream and liberated yourself from it. 

Now when the thought streams occurs again unconsciously, you will have inserted the node, which should interrupt it for you. 

 

 

 

 

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@Wisebaxter You've got great intuition for doing the Work. Your system of memory nodes is very similar to the Idea of 'alarm clocks' taught in the Work-

 

Alarm Clocks

You may have verified the theory that you are asleep for almost all the time. If so, you are probably looking for a way to wake up. One thing that can come in handy is an alarm clock.

What is meant by an alarm clock here? It means something that will help you to see when you are being more mechanical, and remind you to make efforts to be less mechanical. Alarm clocks come in all shapes and sizes...

from http://fourthwayschool.org/alarmclocks1.html

They used to have so much more on this site but took down a lot of it and now offer it in a book for about $24.

 

I was being Way too vague in what I was trying to communicate and kinda mixing apples and oranges which in a way also indicates a lack of mindfulness on my part. I really enjoy and get an uplift from synchronicities when they seem to appear.

 

The real meaning behind the Jack of diamonds is supposedly a label for the mechanical part of the Intellectual Center aka the Formatory Apparatus . The well worn neuronal networks responsible in part for mechanical thinking. 

Im going to sit with, ponder and put to use your idea of memory nodes though when I observe an applicable situation. One of the things that is taught about with 'alarm clocks' is that new ones always have to be invented and introduced every so often because they become ineffective over time. Youre idea of memory nodes provide a good method to change to.

I appreciate the idea,,,


"To have a free mind is to be a universal heretic." - A.H. Almaas

"We have to bless the living crap out of everyone." - Matt Kahn

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@Zigzag Idiot Oh right, I'll have a read up on alarm clocks as I might be able to refine the technique even more. I get a bit of a kick out of making up these little systems, although I sometimes worry it's a bit obsessive or even that I'm overthinking things way too much lol. That would be most people's opinion. But when you know how much work this is to do, to deconstruct the ego and notice your machine like behaviour, it seems completely necessary. 

Quote

I was being Way too vague in what I was trying to communicate and kinda mixing apples and oranges which in a way also indicates a lack of mindfulness on my part. I really enjoy and get an uplift from synchronicities when they seem to appear.

Na dude, you didn't imply at all that it had been a problem for you, I was just having trouble coming outside of my own inner train of thought, and not relating everything to how I see the world. Either that or I just twisted it around so I could talk about what I found really interesting lol. I noticed it quite quickly afterwards, which is quite new for me, to be able to notice my own selfishness. I've been trying to do that more and more recently, that and being more authentic, and I think it's helping raise my awareness and notice more lies. It's very cool but quite shocking too as times. I keep stopping and saying 'whoa, I can see what I'm doing there. I can see the bullshitting animal in full effect lol.' 

Leo being so authentic in his recent video and also his enlightenment video, really inspired me to do this more. But I'm just getting started. The deconstruction has begun

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I'm going to start using this journal to work on my cravings. I've been contemplating 'commitment' a lot recently and I'm feeling juiced and ready to make some changes. A commitment involves 'limiting action' in order to carry out a desired goal. They exist as a concept because we often face obstacles or distractions from our goals, so a commitment gives you that extra staying power, when it does it's job. To have a strong commitment you need an emotional investment in the goal, in other words, know why you're aiming for it. How's it going to feel when you get there? The bigger the vision, the stronger the commitment. 

My goal is to complete my first EP by October, so I'm stopping the following:

Using online dating apps
Dating in general. 
Facebook. Have deleted account and it will be gone in 30 days. The goal is to get through this period so it can be deleted. 
Gaming 

Of them all, gaming will be the hardest, especially when I have weed. I'm taking on a lot all at once here, but what the hell. 

I'm leaving myself very susceptible to boredom, that will be my biggest obstacle. As much as I love reading, spiritual practices, watching YouTube (no way I'm giving that up :) ), at times I feel like I want to numb my brain for a while and just get lost in a game. They're all so different from each other too. They really fascinate me. But I waste too much time on them and my life situation needs addressing. 

Why am I doing this? Because I want to see the looks on the faces of those who doubted me, namely my brother. :D that's the honest answer from an egoic perspective, or one of them. I also want to become what I've dreamed of becoming, and know how that will feel, that sense of pride, to know I stayed the course and committed myself to something bigger. I also want to connect to other artists and collaborate, to experience fulfilling connections. I want to be have no doubts about my life purpose for a change, to see real progress being made and to not have any more resistance to it. I want to be able to enter flow states a lot easier, and I know that this extra practice will speed me forward on the path to mastery. I want to experience that feeling of 'making it.'

Edited by Wisebaxter

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Following on from my last post I'm still working on cravings. 

Have started micro-dosing mushrooms today (0.5g) Have smoked the last of my weed and am hoping the mushrooms can give me a leg up on having a good break from it. The weed messes with my sleep pattern and diet quite a lot as I smoke a lot of it, without being able to moderate. It has countless other down sides too, although it's great for creativity and getting lost in art. I'm hoping the shrooms can help me in that area too so they'll be a good stand in. We'll see. Already feeling pretty good, think they've hit me :) What an epic idea this is. Micro-dosing. Fuck, I feel good. 

Edited by Wisebaxter

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another 0.20 ingested. Fuck this micro-dosing shit, I need to play with the big boys. 

Edited by Wisebaxter

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Have to be careful, I popped a125ug then drifted Of into a long nap. I had my new I phone in bed with me and voicemail from my mother rousted my lsd slumber. Forgetting I had gotten FaceTime  set up and going, I inadvertently was alarming a large number of my family and others with some really exciting narrative. Add to this the Dynamics of living in a relatively small town where everyone knows everyone,,,, well,,,,,It made for an interesting afternoon.

Oh  Well,  im laughing about it now,,,,


"To have a free mind is to be a universal heretic." - A.H. Almaas

"We have to bless the living crap out of everyone." - Matt Kahn

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There could be a whole novel written about how my day has gone. 

Something similar to Vanilla Sky part 2,,,,, ?


"To have a free mind is to be a universal heretic." - A.H. Almaas

"We have to bless the living crap out of everyone." - Matt Kahn

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15 hours ago, Zigzag Idiot said:

Have to be careful, I popped a125ug then drifted Of into a long nap. I had my new I phone in bed with me and voicemail from my mother rousted my lsd slumber. Forgetting I had gotten FaceTime  set up and going, I inadvertently was alarming a large number of my family and others with some really exciting narrative. Add to this the Dynamics of living in a relatively small town where everyone knows everyone,,,, well,,,,,It made for an interesting afternoon.

Oh  Well,  im laughing about it now,,,,

@Zigzag Idiot 

God that's just the kind of thing that I'd do. You're right though, it makes a funny story. Almost on the level of a film :) I would laugh my ass off if I saw that in a comedy. They should have hung up the video call though when they realised what was going on. I guess the curiosity was too much for them. It must have been pretty devastating for you. I can just imagine how I'd feel in that situation, especially as my family are all as Vanilla as Vanilla sky. 

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For a long time I never really understood why the I CHING says - Humilation; great good fortune. ??


"To have a free mind is to be a universal heretic." - A.H. Almaas

"We have to bless the living crap out of everyone." - Matt Kahn

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@Zigzag Idiot Lol. Yes, you must be very humbled after that experienced. If you had to choose an experience to give you the greatest humbling, it would probably we along those lines :) 

While you're here, can I ask you, do you ever get frustrated on psychedelics as you're wanting all this great stuff to happen but it just isn't? You know you're tripping, but you're just not getting any major growth on the level of consciousness or form? This keeps happening to me. Maybe I need some more heroic doses instead of these piddly amounts 

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