Strong Feelings Of Love

[The_Stubborn_One]

Im not sure if this topic really fits here, but in my mind it dose.

Im sorry for my spelling and grammar, for maybe writing more then needed to be said, but i am an open person and it is what i feel and think, not ashamed of it one bit. I felt that all this should be written, so i can describe the deep meaning she has to me.

The truth is I cannot get rid of the strong, true feeling of love of my ex. The story is quite complicated here (thats how i feel about it).

When I met her I was quite the different person then I am today. The relationship didnt last very long, but took little time for me to understand that i have very strong feelings for her, the kind and strength of that i had never experienced before. There was just something about her, that i still cannot explain that causes it. Her eyes where the physical thing that just drove me nuts, but i feel there is more to her than meets the eye.

We split up due to her feeling that its not gona work out in the long run. When we talked about it, she explained that the relationship shes looking for would be perfect from the get-go. Shes looking for the true soulmate. I could not compute how a relationship that wouldnt require any adjustments of ourselfs could possibly exist. So i seeked out the reasons of her beliefs and stumbled across The Secret book's. And thats when things changed for me. I was curious about the contents of them, but at the time didnt have spare cash to buy them. The books found me thou, and when i rad them things really changed. I started to think about the whole concept of the possibility of toughts attracting stuff or experiences. Then mutch more happened. After reading them i made a decision to try out the teachings and change my life. Mostly because i was unhappy and living an destructive lifestyle. So an opportunity to work on weekends arised and i took it to smoothen out my financial problems and saving cash to fix my health. There i met a coworker, as we got to know each other i found out that he had studied Universal Calibration lattice (UCL)in US and is certified Electromagnetic field (EMF) balancer. I got really curious about the work and i found out that there is a one day corse that would introduce to the basic principles of UCL and EMF. The course cost was quite the amount of money, but i could afford it.

So during all this period of accuiring all this information I still kept some contact with my ex (I felt that even if i cannot have her a SO, i woud like to keep contact and maybe become friends, or even win her back) and I felt that id like to take her with me, because she was into all this stuff. She couldnt afford it, but the coworker agreed on letting her come, and i talked her into it. So we went to the course and then shit really hit the fan. Not about her, my assuptions of reality and life collapsed. There was an excersise that required us to sit infront of each other. I had to close our eyes and focus on any sensations in my body while she in meantime would sit and look over my body from feet up to head and down only by moving eyes in a speciffic pattern.

I didnt expect mutch, but boy was i in for a shocker. So everything was fun and games for a few minutes, mind chattering and a little of amusement of sutch a  silly excersise, but suddenly my hearth rate sky rocketed. It was pumping so fast, like i was running a marathon.

After that very moment my life changed mutch more. I took interest in chakras, sacred geometry, binaural beats, meditation etc.

So here I am 8 months into this all, that has blown my mind away and i am learning about it all and have expierienced stuff i had never imagined possible, but i still cannot fight off the strong feeling of her. My life during this time had its ups and downs (mostly ups), but there have been times i have taken a few steps back, and here i am again, determined to change furthen again, but once it is time to get in the bed and aquire energy not only my mind, but my hearth has these deep feeling for her, the want to express my love for her has not dissapeared, if true, they have becomed even stronger. And its driving me nuts. I promissed myself i wouldnt cross the line in comunication of her, I have even tried to get rid of them in hopes that they would wanish by not comunicating with her for months. Its been 2 and a half years now, since we broke up, and i have tried to reason with my mind, that there is no way back and we will never be back together, but how the hell do i shut down the hearth?

I have tried to convert these feeling to try and feel the same way about the people around me, to love them for whom they are, but its not working out as it is something far more special for her. And i dont want to confront her with these emotions either.

So thats about it.

If you see my flaws and/ or have any idea of what i should do to settle this, i would be gratefull if you would share your ideas and opinions. I expect no patting on the back, harsh stuff usually opens my eyes more wider then soft words. What am i missing?

 

[Natasha]

@The_Stubborn_One Good answer by the enlightened teacher

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3miuaOWsj8

[Nathalie]

@The_Stubborn_One

as so often @Natasha  had found the right video

You are the person who feels this love (and  you are the one who is able to feel so) and I presume you project it to your ex-partner because so much has changed in a better way for you since you met her.. Maybe you mix all this feeling of amorousness, gratitude, new experiences etc and make her "responsible" of that.

But you are the one who has grown, who felt so much, perhaps she was just an external (attractive) signpost to help you find the way..

If I were you, I think I would take the responsibility back to me and be grateful for this wonderful time, it's easier to say than to do? Well try to look very deep in your pain and acknowledge it, feel where it is in your body and accept it fully, you will see, it will not kill you, but strengthen you in an even more vital manner.. and maybe lead you further on your enjoyable path..

Wish you the best

 

[Kelley White]

@Natasha, thank you for the video.  Awesome.  I needed this.  @The_Stubborn_One, thank you for asking this, great thread you began, at least it helped me.  Thank you.   @MartineF, Love your comment.

 

[Nathalie]

@Kelley White As friendly as always

happy to "see" you again

[Lynnel]

On 11/04/2016 at 2:36 AM, Natasha said:

@The_Stubborn_One Good answer by the enlightened teacher

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3miuaOWsj8

Best one ever. I watched it myself COUNTLESS TIMES

[Kelley White]

19 hours ago, MartineF said:

@Kelley White As friendly as always

happy to "see" you again

@MartineF, thank you very much that is really kind of you.  You made my morning @MartineF.   Happy to "see" you again as well.

[Kelley White]

On 4/12/2016 at 11:47 PM, MartineF said:

You are the person who feels this love (and  you are the one who is able to feel so) and I presume you project it to your ex-partner because so much has changed in a better way for you since you met her.. Maybe you mix all this feeling of amorousness, gratitude, new experiences etc and make her "responsible" of that.

I was guilty as charged of that very thing.   I projected all of that emotion into the thought process of the other individual.   I really have to say by direct experience I find this to be so true.   Thank you for sharing.