The battle between heart and the self (fear)

[DrewNows]

22 hours ago, Charlotte said:

it's hit me like a ton of fucking brick's. 

I see what faceless was pointing to... I SEE THE MOVEMENT! 

 

 

Deep diving this is ?

[Charlotte]

@DrewNows  absolutely amazing! I'm starting to witness movements I never thought I could. 

I have my first solo psychedelic trip this Saturday. Think it couldn't of come at a better time. 

 

 

[Charlotte]

Just been to see where I'll be staying for the trip. It's absolutely perfect. Very small floor space with fold out table. Outside picnic table, a fire pit overlooking nature. Getting very excited now ✌️

[DrewNows]

10 hours ago, Charlotte said:

@DrewNows  absolutely amazing! I'm starting to witness movements I never thought I could. 

I have my first solo psychedelic trip this Saturday. Think it couldn't of come at a better time. 

 

 

Do you hear at the end of the 53rd minutes of the video: "is it different than the liver" I was cracking up! 

Sending good vibes for the trip! 

7 hours ago, Charlotte said:

Just been to see where I'll be staying for the trip. It's absolutely perfect. Very small floor space with fold out table. Outside picnic table, a fire pit overlooking nature. Getting very excited now ✌️

So excited for ya..will be pure love, you wont be in heaven, but you could become heaven (not that you aren't already)  

Edited May 16, 2019 by DrewNows

[Charlotte]

@DrewNows 'From the liver... Not the liver' ? he has some small bouts of humour that crack me up. I highly (HIGHLY) recommend all his talks. Sat listening in a meditative state.

I'm doing it tonight so will update maybe tomorrow or Sunday ?

Hope you have an amazing weekend bud ♥️

[Charlotte]

Meal prep for trip... All organic high frequency foods...

 

[Charlotte]

So the trip happened. 

This was the best action step I've taken all year. Some questions have not been answered but that's okay, they aren't ready yet. I'm going to work on what's been given to me. They are a gift.

The profound humbleness I feel within radiates out of the human body. I feel so fucking damn blessed.

I also have some medical issues that need seen today by the doctor.

 

[Charlotte]

Another very important insight I got was how brutally honest I am with myself with regards to self honesty. Self deception doesn't play a part. Not saying it won't but at least I'm made aware that I don't bullshit myself. 

[Michael569]

@Charlotte love the meal-prep. Simple, beautiful and invigorating  Hope all has been well lately. 

Edited May 20, 2019 by Michael569

[Charlotte]

@Michael569 Thanks Michael! Tasted ridiculously delicious ? 

Shit has been testy not gonna lie but all is well ✌️♥️ you too brother. 

[Charlotte]

I feel lost over the past few days but not at the same time. I don't know. I've been so tired and sluggish. My cycle has gone skew-whiff, my appetite has drastically increased again. I've been having night sweats every night for the past 2 week's or so, every night. 

Since the trip... I feel like crying. I'm confused. I don't know what's true anymore. At some points during the day I feel like I'm back in it... I actually look around and ask "am I tripping?' 

like am I creating my own reality or is the universe? Is this god (me) working through me for me or is something else... I don't know. All I know is I came out of that trip feeling extremely comforted. 

another thing is I think the boundaries  and limitations of subjects such as philosophy, science, maths are all breaking down, I'm seeing everything as one, one isn't more of a truth than the other as they all are in there own way truth. I don't understand but I do. 

I don't know... Maybe I should give this a break for a bit. My head is hurting with it all. My exams are in a few weeks and I seem to be more bothered about spiritual practices than my exam results. That's another thing... Life purpose has also been brought to question since the trip. Same intention but maybe different direction. 

anyone help me with all this? @DrewNows @Serotoninluv 

 

[DrewNows]

Here’s some advice I’m giving us both as I have been going through similar confusion lately. Let’s bounce back to see and experience life! Even if it’s perceived a little differently now  

Show yourself love by giving yourself purpose, daily. Focus on the part of living in your control: goal setting, studying, routine, and most important of all, being alone for a short time maybe before bed or in the morning, to simply do nothing but let be

It takes time to process. You are okay. Okay in not knowing and open to learning through experience itself 

breath ?✌️ ❤️

Edit: also a break is good, let curiosity guide you back 

Edited May 21, 2019 by DrewNows

[Charlotte]

@DrewNows oh my goodness your absolutely right. I don't feel grounded whatsoever. I'm questioning so much because there has been a shift, I don't need to question at all but it's difficult not to. 

Thank you for that beautiful reminder dude you have no idea how much I appreciate it ♥️ 

 

 

[Forestluv]

@Charlotte A strong trip is golden, yet it also can be a huge energy drain on the mind and body. It’s like expanding two conscious levels and having years worth of direct experience in one day. Then, condensing that into the mind-body. That is a lot to ask of a mind-body. When we break new ground so dramatically, it will feel ungrounded. The mind and body is trying to communicate “whoa! Slow down and rest. Let’s spend some time integrating this and getting grounded”. 

The mind will want to contextualize and make sense of the experience, yet our previous level of conscious cannot accommodate this depth. It may come up with all sorts of thoughts and images, grasping for a sense of grounding. Since the balance is tilted way over to groundless, I would spend more emphasis on getting re-grounded - do the things that ground you. Yoga, cooking, walks in nature - some routine. Treat your mind and body with love and be grateful it absorbed so much of the divine. It will allow you to expand, yet gradually. 

[Charlotte]

@Serotoninluv wow. Priceless advice dude and it rings so true. Thank you so much for your wisdom ♥️

[Charlotte]

It's crazy this week. I realised last night that after my trip I've been eating raw foods which I never ever have done. 

Yoga last night was incredibly different, beautiful.  

I find myself putting spiritual videos on and then realising and then turning them off to remain as grounded as possible. 

I keep placing my hands in involuntary random mudras throughout the day. I have a compulsion to take up Tai chi. Last night the owner of the yoga classes I take told me they're starting new Tai chi classes. How mad is that!! Synchronization. ?

My exams are literally round the corner and I am knuckling down with them. One shot. 

 

I also have a date Saturday with a lad from Brazil who's into spirituality so that should be interesting. 

♥️?

[Charlotte]

 

[zambize]

1 hour ago, Charlotte said:

 

That was such an adventure, thank you for posting that.  I really like the art style and everything, the people who made that are so talented 

[Charlotte]

8 hours ago, zambize said:

That was such an adventure, thank you for posting that.  I really like the art style and everything, the people who made that are so talented 

I know right!! My absolute pleasure ♥️

[Charlotte]

I'm only just coming to terms with what the self does to survive, it's utterly unbelievable, surely a fucking miracle? And I thought I knew last year, oh my god I know ABSOLUTELY nothing ? how far can this go? There's just layers upon layers of sheer intelligence at work here.