The most honest journal you'll ever read !

[zambize]

One thing i think you got going for you is that I do feel like our capacity to feel anxiety and terror is proportional to our ability to feel positive emotions.  So even if you're getting butt blasted every night, your high-highs, when/if they come, will probably be nothing short of amazing 

[Shin]

1 hour ago, zambize said:

One thing i think you got going for you is that I do feel like our capacity to feel anxiety and terror is proportional to our ability to feel positive emotions.  So even if you're getting butt blasted every night, your high-highs, when/if they come, will probably be nothing short of amazing 

 

[Shin]

Lots of introspection and shadow work right now.
I realized I was bypassing somethind I still can't identified clearly by being a spiritual smartass and hiding behind jokes.
Something that makes me compassionless and which blocks my capacity to love and feel emotions fully.

Almost felt like I was gonna go this night while taking out the dog again, there was several times where there was no me  to experience things, but just things.

[Shin]

Going to go meditate in a plain.

It's 20 minutes away from where I live, so If something happens I won't be able to distract myself (not taking the phone).

 

Edited March 30, 2019 by Shin

[Shin]

Objectives of today

Daily meditation
Daily walk
Daily study
Contemplating on what I'm bypassing/why love can't flow
Have fun

[Shin]

1 hour ago, Marc Schinkel said:

Yeah, I'm lucky to have my best friend
I would get there eventually, but she makes the process way faster by calling on my bullshit

[Shin]

So close.

Was feeling presence from everything in my bathroom, and was on auto pilot while being fully conscious, as if I was just observing the human being Shin.

I looked in the mirror and was not seeing me, but a human being, yet I am it too.

No fear, I was shocked about not being shocked to have no fear.

 

Edited March 31, 2019 by Shin

[zambize]

46 minutes ago, Shin said:

So close.

Was feeling presence from everything in my bathroom, and was on auto pilot while being fully conscious, as if I was just observing the human being Shin.

I looked in the mirror and was not seeing me, but a human being, yet I am it too.

No fear, I was shocked about not being shocked to have no fear.

 

Good stuff

[Shin]

6 hours ago, zambize said:

Good stuff

 

[Charlotte]

20 hours ago, Shin said:

she makes the process way faster by calling on my bullshit

[Shin]

21 hours ago, Shin said:

Objectives of yesterday

Daily meditation
Daily walk
Daily study, was too lazy
Contemplating on what I'm bypassing/why love can't flow
Have fun

Objectives of today

Daily meditation
Daily walk
Daily study
Contemplating on what I'm bypassing/why love can't flow
Have fun

 

29 minutes ago, Charlotte said:

Edited March 31, 2019 by Shin

[Shin]

[Zigzag Idiot]

What if it's inside out but we see it outside in which makes it upside down?

[Shin]

Not gonna lie,

I'm scared

?

[Shin]

 

Edited March 31, 2019 by Shin

[Shin]

So true lol

 

 

 

Edited April 1, 2019 by Shin

[Shin]

I realized not long ago, that every event that ever happened, had to happen in that exact sequence to be where I am at.

Everything was made in order to make me let go of everything I clinged to.

When everything was let go of, is when the existential fear of death started to arise.

This isn't a coincidence.

There is a pattern at play,

It is NOT random.

 

 

[Shin]

No point to do anything again.

0 personal will.

I just slept and now sit in my bed.

 

[zambize]

How you been?

[Good-boy]

Good boy still alive?