Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
Sven

Child memories brought tears to my eyes

14 posts in this topic

I now just return from a meditation in which memories arose from when I was a child.

From when I was about 6 years old I used to play games like World of Warcraft or Toontown Online (a fun Disney game).

The memories of the worlds I played (but felt more like I lived inside of) are of so much awe and joy. Everything was so new and so remarkably mysterious! 

I had to cry because of these memories quite intensely. Nowadays, "my life" is just so gray. Everything I do seems to be for some other purpose, or to achieve something I don't already have - like enlightenment. As I write this I feel tears coming again.

I'm not completely sure why I write this all together. But since it was an emotional moment it does mean something to me. It's like sometimes all the searching feels a little silly. Feelings of wanting to improve the world, improve myself, help others or whatever. It's all so gray instead of just enjoying the moment.

All in all, however, I'm glad for this realization as it's probably a sign I'm doing the right thing by meditating and trying to become less attached to my identity - also that I'm confronting my emotions. Something like that... :P Thanks for reading and have a great day!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@NahmIntegrate the past and live the future out in the present? :P

Is it necessary to integrate everything from the past which has not been integrated yet in order to fully embrace the present moment?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

By realizing what actually happened instead of deluding yourself into believing stuff happened which never was real to begin with?

Confronting fears which were built in the past - like an extreme fear for elevators for example - which are subconsciously or sometimes consciously hindering you in the present?

Like psychotherapy 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

2nyycy.jpg


God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Nahm You made me laugh :P

Whatever I thought happened... Happened?

And whatever I think is just that... A story I tell myself. A story I have started believing at some age: that stuff would be different. That stuff actually has to happen in a certain way instead of in another way?

You know what's funny. When I was 9 years old I made a drawing under which I wrote "Made when I was 9". The thought behind this was as follows: "When I grow up - 18 years old specifically - finally I can really be myself. I will be steady in my being instead of all this being pushed around that happens now (by external factors I suppose). People will finally take me seriously instead of seeing me as "just a child".

Yeah people take me seriously I guess... Not that fun, though

 

@Shin But ... (uh oh) Fear! :( Plus I'm just way too stocked up on idea's and beliefs now.

What would happen when I drop it all? Would I fall into a pit of never going back? This kinda stuff. Nasty, sticky stuff

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Does he look scared ?

 

64761-sadhgurus-motorcycle-journeys-across-india.jpg

Edited by Shin

God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Nahm When did it happen... It's happening now... Yeah...

But- there's the but again... But it can't be, right?

Though I know it to be true - I've experienced it before. It was all so obvious then. I had laughed harder than I've ever laughed at my own delusions. Why is it not obvious now? But how can it not be obvious now and in a different now it was obvious - even though all now is now and there really is no different nows? How can that be? Seriously?

@Shin I love motorcycles. I want one someday (when I am allowed to get a semi-heavy motorcycle license at age 21) :P

Yes that's a great example. Fake Evidence Appearing Real is what I tell myself when I get scared by my own lucid dreams as well. I made all of this. I can confront it. It can't eat me alive because it is ME! And so this confrontation has to continue in my "waking" life. For me personally I think my dreams can work as a lever for this.

But no- he of course does not look scared. "Resistance is futile".

Thank you so far guys for helping me along this "train of thought" <3 this is why this forum exists I would say

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Sven We can check our direct experience. Go to that now which that happened in, and when you come back to this now, I suppose you’ll know, unequivocally, for yourself. 


MEDITATIONS TOOLS  ActualityOfBeing.com  GUIDANCE SESSIONS

NONDUALITY LOA  My Youtube Channel  THE TRUE NATURE

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

“Think of the happiest things
It's the same as having wings!”

I had a similar moment where I was in a dark place, and in stillness tried to conjure up the happiest memory I could. It turned out to be a memory when I was about 4 of my uncle throwing me up in the air at my grandmas house, just for fun. I remember all the laughter and happiness I felt. I started to cry and later told my uncle and started crying then too.

Maybe try doing something now that would be just for fun, with no ulterior motive. See if you can access that childlike place in your heart. It can take practice but you can get some of that feeling back. I did this summer when I went to the park and explored and made a mini fortress out of sea shells just for fun. I sent a picture of it to my friend and he thought it was beautiful, that I could just do something like that.

Thanks for sharing your memory with us :)

Edited by zenjen

"Move and the way will open."
– Zen Proverb

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0