Charlotte

Why do people become heavily annoyed with me?

87 posts in this topic

Plain and simple: most people are lazy to actually find the True answers to your/their questions themselves. They don't really know the things they are talking about, and you questioning them makes them face Truth within themselves. Most people are not ready for that thing. 

Don't worry, you can still ask questions to people, who knows when will you get a Truthful answer. ;) 

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5 hours ago, Charlotte said:

Shall I in future just politely agree and keep the questioning to myself?

It really depends on what your willing to do to please other people. You have these options:
A: Learn to accept that you like to question things and that some people will get annoyed with it
B: If you feel like you can't accept it, change it. There are many books and youtube channels that can help you learn how to be more charismatic and liked by people.

Think carefully about it for awhile then come to a decision of how you'd like to proceed. I tried the path of learning to be a more likeable person, but it didn't really get me anywhere. I watched the youtube videos and read some books but it didn't really help me feel any better. So I decided to work on accepting that I'm kind of socially awkward instead, and that was something that helped me personally.

This is just from my experience, hope it helps :)


"Move and the way will open."
– Zen Proverb

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@Charlotte Come on...it's too woo-woo for most ppl. Be more tactful in your life purpose so you'll be more convincing and earning well through it. :P This is something that I would even say directly at Leo.

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42 minutes ago, aurum said:

@Charlotte

Let them be. There's a time and place to question people's beliefs like that. But if they're just trying to share something then let them do it.

Yes, let them be, but she should also let herself be. If she wants to ask stuff, she is also allowed to freely do so.

44 minutes ago, Key Elements said:

@Charlotte Come on...it's too woo-woo for most ppl. Be more tactful in your life purpose so you'll be more convincing and earning well through it. :P This is something that I would even say directly at Leo.

This is good advice. :) 

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It might just be your child-like spontaneity that annoys people. I think you're a wonderful person, Charlotte. I'm pretty sure there are many who think as I do about your situation. 

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@Charlotte They are your evolution buddies! 

They are healing the deep emotions within your cells by triggering anger, sadness etc. Thats why I love getting triggered because I know it’s another moment of deep healing.

So allow yourself to be triggered, allow the emotion to completely destroy you so you have more space for love. This is the silent journey everyone is on.

Many times people have projected their fears on me. One time I was told by my Grandfather that he has reached this state of enlightenment and so he knows exactly what is going on, and then the next moment he says that God dosen’t exist, and I need something external to be happy. I let these words wash over me like a wave of purification, staying in the breathe which allows my confused emotions to release.

Edited by Solace

Feel your hearts embrace of this moment of existence, and your love will awaken in everything you perceive ❤️ 

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I find myself in similar situations. I think its to do with our natural curiosity to see the root/depth/truth/accuracy of a situation. I tend to question not because I am questioning their authority, but because I am naturally curious and wants to see the bigger picture. Its how I learn.

I haven't developed a way to reduce this conflict, but I think part of the solution is to prime our answer. "just out of curiosity, where did you find that article" or "just wondering, what made you believe that article"

Let me know if that works.

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I like that.  I think is a sign of assertiveness on your part, which is good.  To be assertive is to know what the heck someone is talking about before responding to them.  I tell people "I don't know what you're talking about" all the time.  And then either they clarify it or they don't.  If they don't, I just drop it and move on.  Don't turn this into a limiting-belief though.  There's ways to be assertive in nicer ways than others.  If you're assertive without being nice about it, people can think you're being an asshole.  But you know as well as I do, that's not your motive, but people may perceive it that way.  And that's kinda their problem too, but you can smooth things out by being polite and assertive at the same time. 

Edited by Joseph Maynor

firstphilosophy.org

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I guess you're leading the conversation into a different direction everytime you ask question, opposed to the direction that they want it to go. That creates a weird feeling and confuses them.

I did that but it didn't turn out well. All I get was a "what are you talking about" face. Kj or kill joy. That's what they would add. I understand on my part. From then on, I would feel or tune-in if the person I'm talking to is open enough for me to shift the conversation into a different direction.

Edited by Atic

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@Atic

2 hours ago, Atic said:

I guess you're leading the conversation into a different direction everytime you ask question, opposed to the direction that they want it to go. That creates a weird feeling and confuses them.

I did that but it didn't turn out well. All I get was a "what are you talking about" face. Kj or kill joy. That's what they would add. I understand on my part. From then on, I would feel or tune-in if the person I'm talking to is open enough for me to shift the conversation into a different direction.

Wow its like you read my mind and know what I do all the time. 

@Charlotte although I think the example conversation wasn't detailed and in depth enough to give me a satisfactory understanding of what's going, I think I have one anyway. I mean of course you were also being hyperbolic and were just conveying the essence behind your conversations in contrast to how your conversations actually plays out which would make the sentence I typed before this one false. 

Like @Aticsaid @Charlotte (I accidentally typed "@Charlotte" instead of just "Charlotte"), what's going on is that what you find interesting about a particular topic is not what other people find interesting. It is for this reason that your attempts to discuss a topic with someone results in you going in a direction which is not what the other person expected and is familiar with.

To elaborate what I said in the previous paragraph, its almost as though you and the other person are talking past one another. I know that when I have discussed a topic with friends, I tend to take a topic to a deeper philisopical and logical level then what other people are interested in with regards to that topic. 

 

Here's another way of looking at it which is a bit different from what I said above. The information a person has about an objective topic is tightly associated and joined to their subjective perspective on the issue and they think that their subjective perspective is an objective given from the information, when in fact that is false. We all do this to a degree and the degrees to which we do it vary on the subject. When you say something which questions their subjective perspective the other person thinks you are questioning something objective. Imagine a Turqoise hippie trying to talk to a hardcore atheist materlist about spirituality and the nature of reality. 

 


Hark ye yet again — the little lower layer. All visible objects, man, are but as pasteboard masks. But in each event — in the living act, the undoubted deed — there, some unknown but still reasoning thing puts forth the mouldings of its features from behind the unreasoning mask. If man will strike, strike through the mask! How can the prisoner reach outside except by thrusting through the wall? To me, the white whale is that wall, shoved near to me. Sometimes I think there's naught beyond. But 'tis enough

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There are many good scientific articles.

Science, by its very nature, is a collective consensus-building activity. So if you're gonna use science at all -- and what other choice do you have? -- you're gonna have to accept a lot of stuff as expert hearsay.

So in this example you were just being too dismissive and smartassy.

Remember, stage Green & Turquoise must build on top of stage Orange rather than excluding and denying it.

Science denial is not a tenable position. What you can do instead is talk about various ways to interpret the science, various ways to recontextualize empirical data.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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47 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

There are many good scientific articles.

Science, by its very nature, is a collective consensus-building activity. So if you're gonna use science at all -- and what other choice do you have? -- you're gonna have to accept a lot of stuff as expert hearsay.

So in this example you were just being too dismissive and smartassy.

Remember, stage Green & Turquoise must build on top of stage Orange rather than excluding and denying it.

Science denial is not a tenable position. What you can do instead is talk about various ways to interpret the science, various ways to recontextualize empirical data.

Science is a way of thinking. It's up to you to figure out what the truth is. Any science paper or article is a smaller piece in a larger puzzle of figuring out how the universe is. One paper might be contradictory to another, but its the larger picture that is where the sum total of the contradictions and affirmations that theories, like evolution, come to be. There are a lot of hypothesizes, which is basically one step lower than a theory. Science is not enough. We need to figure out which hypothesis is more probable to be the way the universe is. I'm reading more on this right now and it's complicated.

http://simplifience.com/

For instance go to "Stepping beyond science", then after you've read the article there are follow-ups linked in the bottom for the entire sequence.

Edited by Outer

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Your replies are just pure gold ❤️ 

So many depths to this I wasn't aware of previously.

 Thank you so much ??

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And @Leo Gura I don't dismiss science. I actually have a secret crush on science.

But at the same time I see it as another perspective. This example was used in say when someone is trying to ram some information down my throat, claiming it is Truth. It's usually because I won't comply with them and agree it is Truth. 

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@Charlotte Well, there are skillful and unskillful ways to communicat Truth. You gotta meet the person where they are at.

Telling normies things like, "Nothing is real!" or "Who is saying that?" is just not skillful.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

You gotta meet the person where they are at.

That's a good answer Leo, but some ppl stay stuck in one place for life. They could come back and live five lifetimes and still won't get it. :) Then, what? :D It doesn't mean you give up. You gotta ask yourself, what's the most tactful thing you could do to help plant a seed in them so eventually they'll get it.

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31 minutes ago, Key Elements said:

That's a good answer Leo, but some ppl stay stuck in one place for life. They could come back and live five lifetimes and still won't get it. :) Then, what? :D It doesn't mean you give up. You gotta ask yourself, what's the most tactful thing you could do to help plant a seed in them so eventually they'll get it.

Trying to change anyone, even if it is done at their level, and with a lot of compassion is still the ego trying to impose itself on reality.

As long as there is an inclination to change something that isn't «quite right», then we're still not being, we are still doing.

Not only it pushes us further from the truth, but it almost never works anyway.

We can't force someone to change without using violence, whether it's subtle or passive doesn't matter, it's still violence.

We would be much better served by helping people who actually wants help, people who come to you by themselves, those are the one we can really help.

 

Edited by Shin

Spirituality is not the renunciation of life

It is the art of living fully

 

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