Trying to understand my awakening

[youngshinzen]

Three years ago, during deep suffering I investigated my past and saw a pattern, once I had the last piece of the puzzle, that was my childhood, it clicked and I realized that there‘s a “reason for everything“. That‘s the first thought that expressed the clarity. I realized if there‘s a reason (a connection) for everything, then I‘m not responsible or connected to what I perceive. Everything that can be experienced is not connected to me.

Just now I found this video of Fred Davis expressing exactly that: I know what I‘m not, but not what I am.

I‘m constantly feeling better and this insight helped a lot to disidentify with thoughts (mostly guilt). But I see tendencies of the “positive“ force missing to drive me towards working harder on enlightenment. Is there a certain technique as a follow up that will help me to realize the other side of the coin?

[cirkussmile]

Post enlightenment is when the body and mind becomes an expression of Truth. 

Be aware of the ever present silence in all things

[111111]

47 minutes ago, youngshinzen said:

I know what I‘m not, but not what I am.

look up "The Book of Not Knowing" by Peter Ralston, very hard read though.

[Mu_]

13 hours ago, youngshinzen said:

Three years ago, during deep suffering I investigated my past and saw a pattern, once I had the last piece of the puzzle, that was my childhood, it clicked and I realized that there‘s a “reason for everything“. That‘s the first thought that expressed the clarity. I realized if there‘s a reason (a connection) for everything, then I‘m not responsible or connected to what I perceive. Everything that can be experienced is not connected to me.

Just now I found this video of Fred Davis expressing exactly that: I know what I‘m not, but not what I am.

I‘m constantly feeling better and this insight helped a lot to disidentify with thoughts (mostly guilt). But I see tendencies of the “positive“ force missing to drive me towards working harder on enlightenment. Is there a certain technique as a follow up that will help me to realize the other side of the coin?

Isn't it a relief that your "not" all those things you believed yourself to be?  You are a happening right?  Or what did you see?  Let it in man, your not the history of your childhood, your not the history of anything.  Your totally free, TOTALLY.  Are you holding onto the idea of what you were, and waiting for a what you are moment?  Look at this, its just more idea's of what your not, just keep going into the nature of what your not, even all your spiritual idea's and expectations of what this is supposed to mean and look like, they are "what your nots" that You aren't seeing through.  Even the idea of what is it supposed to mean, even the idea of what you are then supposed to do, even the ideas of I need to do this awakening thing since its whats most important in life (and which is supported within 100's of spiritual books saying the same thing), just let it all go...... if you want to discover.

 

[youngshinzen]

@cirkussmile So if look at the couch I‘m sitting on and recognize it‘s silence, that is one way to do it?

@111111 Thanks, I’ve started to read it, but it’s too long to appreciate every part of it. Did it help you?

 

[youngshinzen]

@Mu_ During the experience my mind concluded that I must be in another dimension. I didn‘t have any knowledge about enlightenment back then. But no matter how, I cannot perceive myself.

Why does he then talk about the possibility of recognizing what one is?