Aquarius

I seem shady to some people, yet I don't know why??

20 posts in this topic

Many people tell me this very often. 

It's mainly on dating sites or on sites where you talk to people. I don't use dating sites anymore though, and even when I used them it was to practice social skills and getting used to get out of the comfort zone, nothing more.

It happened a few times that when I said one thing people would assume I meant another very shady thing. And I was shocked every time because those things never even crossed my mind. And they always think I'm tricking them for whatever unknown reason they don't even mention, they simply say "there's something not right about you".

What would be some reasons people assume these things? It's extremely strange since I always considered myself very innocent and I never tricked anyone. I'm actually extremely honest and direct.

And.. sigh, I can't believe I'm asking for this, but.. To people who see me posting often on here: what kind of vibe do I give? Could it be my vibe?

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2 hours ago, Aquarius said:

It's mainly on dating sites or on sites where you talk to people. I don't use dating sites anymore though, and even when I used them it was to practice social skills and getting used to get out of the comfort zone, nothing more.

The reason is because people on dating sites are there with a clear intention to meet people. 

Even the ones just trying to get laid they are still on there with the intention to meet people to get laid.

So if you are on there with no intention to meet people, people will question your intentions and therefore you will appear shady. They will be thinking: "Then who am I really talking to? A catfish, my ex, my boss?"

 

I dont get any shady vibes off you on here. But that's because you are on here with an intention that meets everyone's expectations. 

 

 

Edited by SFRL

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@SFRL Wow, this answers everything! I have little knowledge in relationships, I'm pretty young and unexperienced so I didn't consider that perspective. But many people on okcupid are actually just searching for friends not just me. They even state it in their bio. I think what's the difference and what seemed shady was that I was an actually good looking girl searching only for friends. I'm not saying this to brag with my looks, just a perspective. Because now the dots connect.. people always mentioned my profile picture and how I'm a catfish trying to sell organs because it's too pretty. Because people automatically assume that good looking people have perfect lives and all they want is sex. Ugh. 

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@Aquarius

'Friends' can mean a lot of different things online. 

It can also mean 'casual' or 'sex'. It's a more covert way on putting it in case their mom reads their profile lol. 

Friends could just mean friends as well. But even then, me personally I am like "this a dating app you are spoiling the game" when women come with stuff like that. 

Edited by SFRL

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3 hours ago, Aquarius said:

@SFRL Oh.. alright. I understand now. 

Try including the word 'platonic' to clear up any misconceptions SFRL mentioned.

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Read about violent and non violent communication. I'm working on this same issue. If everyone says the same thing about you, then you are giving off a vibe you are unaware of. 

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@Athena I read about it around 2 years ago, but I think I might revisit the concepts. Thanks!

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You might have some part usually in the "collective shadow", commonly thought of as bad and repressed, more visible or strong in you. You might not be even aware of what exactly that is, but this could explain it.

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@K VIL People, society, tends to repress the same things. People tend to dislike similar things. So maybe she has in one way or another shown a side like that is generally disliked, making people think there's something off with her. She could also be "struggling to repress" something like this, making it a little visible all the time, making it still show. As an example for the second, a person who won't admit to being angry, but is slightly annoyed all the time.

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11 minutes ago, YaNanNallari said:

@K VIL People, society, tends to repress the same things. People tend to dislike similar things. So maybe she has in one way or another shown a side like that is generally disliked, making people think there's something off with her. She could also be "struggling to repress" something like this, making it a little visible all the time, making it still show. As an example for the second, a person who won't admit to being angry, but is slightly annoyed all the time.

 

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@Aquarius In just looking at your avatar (pic), very beautiful, but folks might see the ‘scene’ there as dark, mystical, intense, and possibly an intimidating level of beauty for some. Certain people conceptualize such things as “shady”.  

Not to mention, (in the sense every word can carry connotations) - Aquarius peeps have a certain reputation, a sort of natural acceptance of infinity, whereas most people seem to seek grounding, centering, or falsity in comfort.


MEDITATIONS TOOLS  ActualityOfBeing.com  GUIDANCE SESSIONS

NONDUALITY LOA  My Youtube Channel  THE TRUE NATURE

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@Nahm My avatar is a drawing. But I get what you mean. I used similar pictures (selfies) on dating sites. I've been told just the other day that my stare is very intense. xD 

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I found that quite often people project onto you what they do not want to see in themselves (but actually subconsciously know is there). On a dating side this makes sense. I would guess that quite a few people are on there because want connection/sex/validation/whatever on the one hand, but on the other hand they do not really admit to themselves exactly what they want/the full scope of it. Might be because of social programming. So as a result of that there is a subtle breach in their authenticity that they then see in you, who seems to be quite clear about what she wants on there (are you really though? ;) )

I just realized while typing this that I might have actually just projected that image onto "quite a few people that use dating sites", so take it with a grain of salt.

Did you draw your profile pic yourself?

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It is better to not know why , then know why , then you will for sure give that vibe, because when people will start to look at you ,you  will automatically

think here they go again and while you will try to force yourself to not give vibe that you are like it, you will look unauthentic  and look even more like such kind of person. 

Actually if you think that they think you look shady and you try not to look , then you will get the same outcome 

Edited by purerogue

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@Aquarius Dude, your profile picture is a game character and your name is 'Aquarius'.  There's nothing wrong with that because this is just a forum but of course, people will think you are shady. What people think doesn't say anything about you though because they don't have all the info. 

For people you are just a random guy on the internet. I don't know your intentions, your values, your beliefs, your motivations, your appearance.  What does the primal instinct say in these kinds of situations? It would rather assume you are shady than not, because that keeps me safe from danger.


”Unaccompanied by positive action, rest may only depress you.” -- George Leonard

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On 11/27/2018 at 3:01 PM, Nahm said:

@Aquarius I like it. Just saying, you know, those people. ?

Them peeps, aaarghhh! xD;) 

On 11/27/2018 at 4:49 PM, Enizeo said:

I found that quite often people project onto you what they do not want to see in themselves (but actually subconsciously know is there). On a dating side this makes sense. I would guess that quite a few people are on there because want connection/sex/validation/whatever on the one hand, but on the other hand they do not really admit to themselves exactly what they want/the full scope of it. Might be because of social programming. So as a result of that there is a subtle breach in their authenticity that they then see in you, who seems to be quite clear about what she wants on there (are you really though? ;) )

I just realized while typing this that I might have actually just projected that image onto "quite a few people that use dating sites", so take it with a grain of salt.

Did you draw your profile pic yourself?

The breach of authenticity they project onto me is only one aspect of the situation. I did have my fair share of fault on the whole situation.

Nooo, my profile pic simply looks similar to my face/gaze and I liked it. xD Took me 1 hour until I found on Pinterest. It's a really lovely drawing and I am fond of it.

On 11/29/2018 at 10:40 AM, Maximus said:

"I seem shady to some people, yet I don't know why??"

Generally speaking, when someone types in that way, they are lying.

Just from experience, the two times I have seen people lie to me, they have posed the question that way via text on a screen. You are shady as fuck. You know why.

It's kind of a... "hey, I'm really pretty and innocent, let's hug" vibe. The flip side of that is, "oops, did I do something wrong??" when they have stood you up or secretly gone behind your back and kicked you out of something. I'm kind of sorry to destroy you in that way, but kind of not. Double question mark innocent vibe is like a major burn the boats and get the fuck out of the way red flag. No one is that perfect or innocent. They may be 90% of the time and it is a lovely image when the weather is perfect. When the shit hits the fan, do you know what it is, it is a water element, slippery, slidey, sneaky and earth just watches it all the way. Sometimes they come back crying after you expose them but even that is just a weak turn off and feels dirty and sludgy to drag both people through.

To most people, you pose a question like that, you know why. It is clear as day and everyone can see it. You can emotionally manipulate and do a good job of it, and it will drag a lot of people under because it isn't based in hard truth.

You killed me with that text. I feel destroyed. No words.

Tnx tho I needed to hear everything you wrote, it was a huge blind spot of mine.

I liked your analogy of water/earth energy. Spot on.

On 11/30/2018 at 6:43 PM, purerogue said:

It is better to not know why , then know why , then you will for sure give that vibe, because when people will start to look at you ,you  will automatically

think here they go again and while you will try to force yourself to not give vibe that you are like it, you will look unauthentic  and look even more like such kind of person. 

Actually if you think that they think you look shady and you try not to look , then you will get the same outcome 

Maybe.

17 hours ago, Dan Arnautu said:

@Aquarius Dude, your profile picture is a game character and your name is 'Aquarius'.  There's nothing wrong with that because this is just a forum but of course, people will think you are shady. What people think doesn't say anything about you though because they don't have all the info. 

For people you are just a random guy on the internet. I don't know your intentions, your values, your beliefs, your motivations, your appearance.  What does the primal instinct say in these kinds of situations? It would rather assume you are shady than not, because that keeps me safe from danger.

Yeah. Thanks for pointing these things out. What do you mean by "your name is 'Aquarius' "? What are you pointing to? I don't get it. xD 

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