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Maycol

The Radical Implications Of Oneness (Halloween Edition)

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Thank you so much for this episode, Leo. It resonates with and reactivates the knowing from the fresh 5-MEO experience that happened this past weekend.

When a human takes a powerful entheogen, there's no control of what the experience of the trip will be. It's like I was repeatedly fucking myself, giving birth to myself, and killing myself, and exploding to a timeless moment of nothingness. Imagine if all omnipotent GOD takes an entheogen, that would be the most infinite holy fuck of all time and space, with experience that's unimaginable and ineffable, the feelings created can be the most soul crushingly beautiful and insane mind shatteringly fucking brutal. 

The first trip was more challenging and scary, because going into it with fear, the fear will bleed into the experience and that "perfectly" becomes the lesson of that trip. Self-forgiveness and acceptance was the main theme of that first experience, it also serves as a purging, clearing, and opening for future experience. There's no right or wrong way of navigating this reality, only the conditioned ego mind comes in, put values on any experience, and judge it as good or bad. That's a very powerful realization.

Even though it was a fucking scaring first experience, it's all worth it because of the contrasting beautiful, love, peace, and knowledge on the other end. One cannot happen without the other, the both ends of the same stick, no matter how you try to cut one end, there's always 2 ends of 1 thing. If I listen to the bullshit of the reconstructed ego, I would not have done a second session the next morning. The feeling or knowing I got from the first experience told me I have more work to do, and I plunge myself into a second ceremony the next day.

The second ceremony was even more intense, coming into it with the openness and rawness of the first one. YOU CANNOT DO SURRENDERING! Don't try to remember to surrender or give up, because "YOU" CAN NEVER DO IT! If you think you "surrender", you have not "surrender". Surrender and death happens simultaneously, and that's when you're home... home with nothingness, peaces beyond words, and acceptance of all thing, including the small self and the ego that the ego has practicing and trying so hard to surrender. No one can express oneness and nonduality, no one. There's no sense, perception, or tool a human being have to touch it. It's only when the human construct is not around then THAT IS, just IS.

When coming down from peak, massive download of wisdom happened. I continue to experience reactivation and the understanding are still coming 2 days later... There's a lot of uncontrollable crying and intense laughing, it's both fucking hilarious and beautiful. 

All this BS words I've just shared, cannot be understood by the ego mind. I was on the other side, so I know I've tried. I've been there before the veil drops, so I know how strong, cunning, and aggressive the ego is, so arrogantly think I could figure this out on my own. Yeah, by the way, you can't figure this out, but you can't help it anyways, so just keep doing what you do for the time being, until you're ready to truly do the work and die. You cannot be there and experience God, the process has to annihilate you, then there is. 

There magnitude of God's hallucination or imagination will make you go insane. The human civilization can begin and end for billions and billions of years, and yet it's no time for God. It's scary when you imagine this human drama of pleasure and suffering can keep repeating for not millions of cycle, but billions and billions of cycle, and yet it's no time and nothing for God.

I have to apologize for sharing all these BS words, because it "impossible" to put them into words, just like you try to explain the concept of nothing or infinity, both can never be explained by "something" that is also "finite". All these are just residue experience of the real thing in words.

If I can only share one thing here in this reality or going into that reality, is TRUST and LOVE, and just let the process take over you, you HAVE NOT FUCKING CONTROL anyways... just trust and love, remind the ego self, trust and love. The ego cannot be gone in this realm of human interaction. You don't have to or need to make it pleasant for yourself or anyone, BUT, if you so inclined to, put in a virus or trojan horse into the ego, and infect everyone with Trust and Love. It would be like the come down phase of the 5-MEO, when you realize that you like to remind yourself and each other, it's all a game, everything before, now, and forever, is just God's ultimate trip.

Love and Trust to you all, brothers and sisters, and you, that sneaky bastard who hides behind all these mask. LOL!

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