All dating advice is BS

[Torkys]

If you are a desperate and anti-social person, dating advice is great and can boost your confidence buy a large amount, don't get me wrong.

But in the end - if you care about consciousness and shadow work - there will still be the authentic you and the you who is using tricks, lines, ways of touching, and compliments which feel unauthentic to you.

The you that attracted your partner isn't the person you actually are. You are putting up a facade and you are hiding the person who was desperate to be in a romantic relationship in the first place.

You aren't the person who is in the relationship - your fake confident self is. Dating advice shouldn't tell you what characteristics you should have; it should tell you how to become the person who authentically embodies these characteristics.

In the end, the best thing to do is to be authentic! It's for your highest good - if your partner doesn't want the real you, it isn't meant to be.

[Torkys]

@SFRL @Shin

[SFRL]

I wanted to start a thread with the best oneliners and punch lines. Special thanks to @Torkys for this prelude. 

"A spanking a day keeps the brattiness away" - SFRL

Edited October 16, 2018 by SFRL

[eleveneleven]

Depends on what you mean by "dating advice." In general, I agree, but...

Hey, if you're not ready to be authentic, or don't even know what that means yet because you're so deeply entrenched in your ego, then just saying "Be authentically yourself!" won't fucking work. Some people need advice on how to navigate the twisty halls of the labyrinth before anyone can tell them that there is a way out of the labyrinth completely.

So sometimes you need to be inauthentic before you can learn to have the courage to be authentic. Sucks, though. Of course it's better to be authentic from the beginning. It's much less of a waste of time if you go straight for authenticity. Some people just can't, though.

It's kind of like when someone asks, "How do I wake up?" and people give them advice saying, "You already are infinity; there is nothing to wake up to." That might be "true" (or a finger that points to the truth), but will it suddenly burst the listener into wakefulness? Probably not, no. They need to take a more roundabout way. They need to play with certain types of lies before they see the truth. Burning through karma, perhaps?

I was one of the hard-headed ones who took the long way to my current (greenish) level of consciousness. This is why I say this. I heard all of this advice and it fell on deaf ears.

[d0ornokey]

yeah i agree. 

teachers that teach you how to connect with people, how to be authentic and build deeper relationships rather than trying to up your lay count, status, get a quick fuck, manipulate 

i do think there is place for the latter though

I think the latter helps you get your foot in and build momentum.

Ultimately you need to hone in on your why and become conscious of how you're doing game and if the way you're doing game is what you ultimately want out of your actions. 

[StardewValley]

I agree. Dating advice should change the root of the person instead of changing their outside. It should change who you are from the inside out. 

[SageModeAustin]

@Torkys

Nice!

[Max_V]

@Mikael89 Yo, how are you doing?

[Shadowraix]

On 10/16/2018 at 11:30 PM, Mikael89 said:

@StardewValley Who you really are never changes, it is eternal.

Thats an iffy statement.

Who you are never changes, but the mold you take on, shaped by experience, does.

@Torkys Good shit. Maybe dating advice can be more beneficial by allowing more perspectives to be considered than telling them how to directly act in front of others.